Knit Cap
by AlisonLydon
Summary: Josh buys Drake a gift. Serious subject matter inside. COMPLETED. Please read and review
1. Love

**Knit Cap**

**A Drake & Josh fan-fic created for the older fan (ages 17-adult)**

**A short story by Alison Lydon**

**Told in both the first and third person formats.**

**Lead characters:**

**Drake Parker & Josh Nichols**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. No copyright infringement is **

**intended.**

**Chapter 1**

**Love**

**Spring 2005**

Josh Nichols felt guilty and when Josh Nichols felt guilty he reached for the candy bars.

He felt he didn't have the right to celebrate the rewards of six months of healthy eating

and exercise. It was raining in San Diego. It was just a light mist, but enough to moan

to himself that he left his favorite Sea World umbrella in the hall closet. Still though,

what right did he have to feel guilty? He only had to walk across the crowded mini mall

parking lot to get to the families sensible light brown Honda sedan. After he returned

home from Smart-Aid and Ralph's market, Josh had to get started on his English

composition before working a double shift at the Premiere. Audrey and Walter didn't

mind him doing so as it was Friday night going into Saturday. Besides, Josh was sure

that working a double shift on the weekend wasn't going to be the interfering reason

with his schoolwork.

He turned the radio on. It was set to his favorite talk radio station. Yet, he wanted to put

his hand inside the radio and strangle the self-help guru who at this point he thought

didn't know a damn thing.

Josh was seventeen years old and should have had the rock music blaring, but

somehow it just didn't seem right.

He was good. He was doing all of the quote unquote right things and all of the while felt

more than a pang of guilt over it.

Still he couldn't sit in this car forever and sulk in his land of self-pity and self-loathing.

"Come on, Josh," he gave himself a pep talk to encourage the turn of the key in the

ignition, "Don't be late coming home."

"I'm sorry I was late coming home." Josh said to Audrey who was waiting at the front

door for Josh to put the blue and red pharmacy paper bag in her hands.

"You're not late."

"I have to get a start on my English paper, before I go to work." Josh didn't feel like

putting the groceries away, but of course, would do so. To complain over his being

tired would be wrong.

"Just be quiet, sweetie."

"I will."

Josh was about to go upstairs after his work in the kitchen when he thought he should

bring up two bottles of bottled water with him.

Drake Parker also aged seventeen was wrapped up in his favorite blue blanket with

his back to the world. The sleep was deceiving. One minute he was in golden slumbers

and the second he opened up his eyes he was aware of the cruel realities of the world

and his place in it.

He heard Josh enter the room because Josh although well meaning could not be quiet

if he tried and tripped over something. Drake almost curled his lips up in a temporary

smile. He could just picture Josh screaming about the "pain in the toe".

"Drake, are you up?" Josh whispered as he put the water bottles on the messy desk.

Drake could have pretended to still be sleeping, but right now the urge to throw up was

getting in the way of that.

"n-o." He clutched at his stomach as he let the covers drip off his body.

"Oh shit—I think Mom took the wastebasket out to garage to clean it."

Drake was stubborn. Letting it out might have been freeing, but keeping it in was

something he could control.

For a short while at least.

Josh almost lost his cookies himself when Drake tried to get out of bed without any

help.

"Drake, you should stay in bed!"

He didn't want to be rude to his brother, but his buttons were pushed.

" j—osh, s-sh-ut up."

_Jesus. I can't get up to puke or use the bathroom without people thinking I'm going to _

_die on my way there_.

Drake knew he wasn't going to make it in time and grabbed a blue t-shirt that was on

the dusty pink sofa because this red one he was wearing wasn't going to be clean

much longer.

Josh wanted Drake to have his dignity so he did not follow him. He took the hi-ball

sized glass off the dresser that Drake stole a few months ago when he and his band

were staying in the Radisson in San Francisco and refilled it with some fresh water.

Drake came back five minutes later in his blue t-shirt at least his gray and black

checkered sleeping pants were spared.

"I poured you some water." Josh said

"t-," He coughed, determined to speak louder, "Thanks, Josh. I'm sorry I snapped at

you before."

"I would say you have every reason to snap." Josh handed Drake the glass.

Drake decided to sit on the sofa. Then he thought he'd rather lie down. His legs were

killing him.

"Josh, nah never mind."

"What?"

"My blanket." He sounded like he was four years old, but the room felt very cold to him

and he needed to stay warm.

Just another freaking side-effect like they said.

"It's no problem, bro."

The thoughts of the English paper were forgotten at the moment as Josh got Drake's

sky blue blanket off his bed.

"Thanks." Drake said with his eyes gazing elsewhere rather than looking at his brother,

"You know what they say, Josh?"

"What do they say, Drake?" Josh asked while covering his brother up so he could

watch some television.

Josh was hoping for a punch line to lighten the mood, but there was no joke as the

young man with the poster boy good looks stared straight at him as he announced,

"Cancer's a bitch."

"Yeah," Josh held back the tears once more, "Yeah it is."


	2. When the World Changed Its Colors

**Chapter 2 **

**When the World Changed Its Colors**

…**before the events in Chapter 1**

He was supposed to be born under a lucky star, but Drake Parker chalked that up to

another lie parents told their children such as tales regarding the Santa Claus and

the Tooth Fairy.

It was just a little pain in his shoulder, which he figured had to be from playing the

guitar.

It certainly wasn't from overloading his backpack with his schoolbooks. The pain

went from a general annoyance much like the old lady down the block who would

always rub it and predict the rain even if it wasn't mentioned in Walter's weathercast

to what felt like a slight sprain. That's when Audrey made the doctor's appointment.

Drake and Megan were both patients of Dr. William O'Malley from the time they

were born. He was a friendly doctor the kind of gentleman who had he been in

practice in the 1880's would have accepted a farm hen as a payment for services

rendered, quite the difference from the materialistic plastic surgeon Jeff Glazer who

lived across the street from the Nichols-Parker house. Drake was inwardly

concerned when his friendly pediatrician wanted to talk to him and Audrey in his

office. Whenever a conversation starts with, "Please, why don't you sit down?" you

know the hammer is about to drop.

"What's wrong with my son?" Audrey couldn't wait for the bad news to be revealed. It

was obvious there was _something_ wrong because Dr. O'Malley would always chat

with the parents outside in the corridor and it was light and airy conversation like

talking to your neighbors on the front porch over a glass of Old Country Time

Lemonade.

"mother." Was all Drake could say.

He spent his whole life keeping most of his feelings inward; Drake was not about to

go against the grain now.

All Drake heard was bits and pieces.

_orthopedic oncologist_

_Dr. Jennings (she's the best)_

_Sharp Memorial Hospital_

_There is a chance it might be osteosarcoma_

_If so—Biopsy to see if there are any cancer cells present_

"There's a chance that my son has c-cancer?" Audrey started to cry as she held her

son's hand who was trying with all of his power to block it all out. But they weren't

letting him.

_The proximal humerus (the part of the upper arm bone close to the shoulder) is _

_the __second most common location for osteosarcoma (about 10 percent)._

The kind doctor with the round face and salt and pepper hair handed Drake a

brochure.

_Osteosarcoma is a cancer that begins in your bone forming cells. It is the most _

_common type of tumor in the group of bone cancers called osteogenic sarcomas._

Drake wanted to rip the brochure in half and throw the pieces of the paper in the air

like confetti. Instead he just folded it and put it in his back jeans pocket.

_About 5 of all teens with cancer are diagnosed with osteosarcoma. It is associated _

_with rapid growth, so it is rarely seen in kids before puberty. Osteosarcoma affects _

_more guys (usually between ages 15-19) than girls (usually between ages 10-14)_

Everything that was spoken referred to him, but Drake had nothing to say to neither

his doctor nor his mother he just wanted to get this day over with.

"You're certainly being very brave." Audrey said on the way home.

Drake knew he was going to have to reply to this one.

"I'm fine."

"I don't want you to worry, son. If there is a tumor it might not even be malignant."

Audrey was making a point to not break down. Drake never did like seeing females

cry.

"Do we have to talk about this?"

"No. Not right at this second. Would you like to stop for something to eat?"

"Not really."

Audrey made a mental note to call Dr. Kay Jennings office as soon as they returned

home and even though she was not saying a word, Drake knew she was thinking

about the situation.

"Mom, don't tell anyone, okay? Not Dad, Josh, or Megan. It might be nothing and it'd

be wrong to have them all worry."

"Drake, we can't keep this from the rest of the family."

_Don't I get a say?_

"Whatever. Just don't expect me to be there when you do."

He didn't mean to sound abrupt, but he couldn't deal with _everyone_ swarming

around him. Pity…well-wishes…what was the fucking difference?

Audrey didn't want to argue with her son as this was a lot for all of them to digest.

This couldn't be happening.

_Osteosarcoma?_

_That's just a 'fancy' word meaning that you were going to die._

_There is no way that I can have cancer._

_I'm Drake Parker._

Notes: Information from teenslivingwithcancer dot org

Changed the title of Chapter 1 to "Love".


	3. Emme J Watson

**Chapter 3 **

**Emme J. Watson **

**…Two weeks after Chapter 1**

Emme Jessica Watson was adolescent suburban Californian perfection personified.

She was sixteen years old with long flowing natural blonde hair and pacific blue eyes.

She had slight freckling from her inner eyes to the nasal area. Emme could have

been the clichéd teen model for a young soft drink advertising campaign, but all she

was, was a straight A student at St. Patrick's parochial. Her room looked like the

cover of a Laura Ashley catalog with the pink and red floral bedding ensemble and

Shabby Chic inspired dressers and cabinets in pinks and whites.

Her desk was white wicker that her mother purchased for at an estate sale. It was a

get-well present.

The golden locks were gone now and the girl who thought she could

wink her way into getting boys to follow her around like bees to the honey tree had

nothing but a faint blonde peach fuzz thanks to the months of chemotherapy after

developing ovarian cancer and having a hysterectomy that caused her mother to try

and secretly hit the bottle ala Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

"But she's so young. She won't be able to have any children."

Not that the world saw this. She made sure no one would ever see her like this. Her

Grandmother left her many wonderful Hermes silk scarves, still in their pristine

signature orange boxes. She picked out a dark sapphire blue one with a gold rope

design border. The silk didn't like to stay put, but there was no way she could go in

public any other way. Besides she had nice white gold hair pins (also from her

Grandmother).

Emme was angry in her quiet way that her mother was making her go to the San

Diego Teen Cancer Support Group. She didn't need to go to a support group and sit

around in a "feel-good" circle telling strangers her life story on that she couldn't bear

any children. What was the point in that?

Mother said it would look on her college applications since she had to quit the

cheerleading squad at school and her ballet and modern jazz dance classes.

Emme had an older brother Craig who was more of a free spirit than anyone else in

their whole family and he was out of the house and doing his own thing at San Diego

State University.

There was a soft knock at the door,

"Are you ready, honey?"

"Mother, do I have to go to this?"

"Yes. I think it'll be good for you. I see you need help with your scarf. How do you want

to wear it?"

"With the twist front so it looks like braiding. Do I really have to go to this? We can

have lunch at La Bastide Bistro."

"Emme Jessica, don't be difficult. The goal is not to talk to me, but to other

kids. You might make some new friends."

She looked at herself in the mirror with disgust and remorse.

"I really doubt that's going to happen."

She really despised how the survivor's on the cover of the self-help pamphlets looked

so goddamn proud showing off their bald heads, scars, and other topical

imperfections.

As far as Emme J. Watson was concerned cancer was about as glamorous as big

hairy brown tarantula with a pink bow on it and she certainly didn't need anyone in her

life but herself.

Drake opened up his eyes when he felt something on his shoulder.

_No._

He was too tired to get up and he let himself fall backwards on his bed. Here he was

on Saturday night in bed at eleven o'clock at night while Josh was out on a date with

Mindy. There was something seriously wrong with that picture. Josh was supposed to

be the homebody working on his school projects a month before they are due or even

playing the Gamesphere.

But Drake had to get up to use the bathroom. Those questions were worse to him

than intravenous chemotherapy.

You weren't allowed to have an inch of privacy with all of the doctors, nurses, surgical

techs, and other medical staff poking and prodding and asking you

personal questions about your body and its functions (or lack thereof).

Drake suppressed the urge to go the bathroom as he saw his black Ace comb

shining in the glow of the nightlight; he slowly picked it up and started to comb his

hair. When the clump of hair stuck into the comb he dropped it into the sink.

"Fuck," He knew this could happen, but he didn't think it would happen to him.

_NO._

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO._

Drake sat on the floor with his back against the door, put his hands over his face, and

cried.

That's how Megan found him five minutes later when she had to use the bathroom.

The Boob just couldn't die. She wanted to comfort him, she really did. Underneath it

all she loved both of her brothers.

They really haven't said more than ten words to each other since all of this started. He

said her hug was enough, but she wished she could do more.

She ran down the stairs when Josh came home from his date with Mindy. He took off

his jean jacket and placed it on the living room sofa when Megan came down the

stairs.

Josh couldn't help thinking of the worst-case scenario.

"Josh," This was the first time the practical joke playing scheming sister ever said

this, "Relax. I'm glad you are home…We need to talk in the kitchen."

**Next morning**

_Drake,_

_--We think you're beautiful too. _

_We hope you still believe that you are._

_Love,_

_Josh, Megan, Mom, and Dad_

Was what was written in Josh's neat cursive writing on the small white card that was

attached to the small box.

It was with a shaky hand that Drake opened up the gift.

It was a light tan knit cap.

Part of him loved it. He loved that his family cared about him and were all very

supportive.

(Although, he wished that Megan would play one prank on him) and a part of him

hated it because his hair was falling out and he had to hide that fact. Granted, the

hats were quite the look now amongst the young, cool people, but Drake never liked

to follow the trends he liked to lead them. And he did have a hat like this in a sandy

beach oatmeal color that one of his three-day girlfriend's swiped off his head and

never gave back.

He put on his cap and watched more hair fall on his powder blue colored t-shirt.

It was then that Josh walked in. It was going to be another long day of medicine,

vitamins, iron pills, eating every cancer center approved menu item that his mother

made for him, and working on his schoolwork. At least today wasn't a chemo day.

Maybe, he'd pick up his guitar. Something he hadn't done since the night before his

biopsy.

"Good morning, Drake."

"Morning, Josh," Drake did his best to smile, "Thanks for the cap."

Josh was a good brother.

He loved that guy.


	4. The Group Part One

**Chapter 4 **

**The Group**

**Part One**

…**after the events in Chapter 3**

"Josh, you did what?" Drake asked Josh while he sat at the breakfast table finishing

his organic whole wheat pancakes that his mother made for him before she went to

work.

They were the grossest things he had ever tasted, but he didn't tell her that.

Josh Nichols never had a bad bone in his body and he was a very well meaning guy,

but that did not mean that Drake Parker wanted his brother making his life decisions

for him.

"I signed you up for the San Diego Teen Cancer Support Group. Mom and Dad think

it's a good idea."

"You discussed this with Mom and Dad before me?"

"Because we know you won't go without any prodding."

"I think I've been prodded _enough_, thank you."

"Drake, I think you could learn a lot from the experience."

"I think I learned plenty already." He poured himself a refill of the fruit punch,

consciously aware that he could spill it all over the table if he didn't take his time doing

it.

Josh wasn't listening, as usual, and took out an orange colored pamphlet with a dove

flying over a rainbow on the cover.

"There was a meeting yesterday…It looks like there's another one today."

"Josh, do you ever listen? I'm not going."

"Drake, you don't talk to anyone except us. You are even keeping the guys in your

band at arm's length. _You NEED to do this_!"

Drake stood up too fast and had to hold onto the counter so he wouldn't fall.

_Damn. I'm starting to make stumbling exits like Josh._

"I don't need to do anything that I don't want to do. If this support group is so important

to you then you go and leave me out of it!" Drake took his juice glass and slowly

headed upstairs to take a nap before he did his homework.

"Well, Drake," Josh said to himself as he licked the sugar free maple syrup off his own

fork while dialing his cell phone with his other hand, "I hope you don't hate me forever

for what I'm about to do. But it's for your own good, bro."

**Later in the afternoon**

_They all lied to me._

_I have cancer and they lied to me._

_And I fell for it-forms that needed to be filled out_

_At the community center?_

_While you go to the library?_

_Nice going, chemo head._

_Wonderful family that I have._

But Josh did one thing wrong when he walked in with Drake at the local San Diego

community center. It was as if he trusted Drake to follow the signs that were on pink

photocopied paper on the walls that read Teen Cancer Support Group: Room 105.

"Not doing it, Josh."

_Boy, am I going to tell you off, when you pick me up._

Drake walked over to the water cooler and grabbed one of the paper cups with the

pointy ends and poured himself a cup of water.

Drake refilled his cup and threw it away in the wastebasket after he finished and

decided to walk over to room 103.

Open, empty, and dark.

He closed the door and gave a quick sigh of relief until he realized that

the room wasn't empty as he thought. He could hear the sounds of a woman crying.

"Who's there?"

This was going to kill his eyes, but he felt for the light switch and turned it on. She was

about the same age as him, wearing designer Junior Miss clothes, and her head

covered in an elaborate scarf.

"Who told you to do that?" She wiped her eyes in hopes that she wouldn't be exposed,

"I know your type! You plan on hiding out in here so you don't have to attend the teen

cancer support group meeting!"

Her attitude was like a razor blade. On one side of the coin Drake knew exactly where

she was coming from, but there was another side of him that didn't like being yelled at

especially when they didn't even know each other.

"Um, excuse me, but isn't that what _you_ are doing?"

"No, it is NOT. I came in here to clear my head. I didn't come in here looking for a

place to _hide._"

"How do you know I didn't come in here to clear my head?"

"Just go away!"

"No."

"I was here first!"

"Well if you were here to just clear your head you'd leave so I could have some

privacy."

"A-ha!" She slowly jumped up, "You just contradicted yourself!"

"You're a mean person. I wonder if that's what caused your cancer?"

Okay, that was a cruel thing to say and Drake knew it, but he hadn't had a

conversation like this in a long time.

"T-that wasn't fair. You aren't going to get away with hiding in here so you can tell your

family you went to the support group. I will report you to the moderator!"

"Ooh, the moderator. I'm shaking!"

"You are."

"Well, I can tell you, it is not from your threats."

"Okay," The door swung open by a man in his mid forties, he was carrying a clipboard,

"What is going on in here?"

"This guy is only pretending to join the support group he wants to hide out in here.

Show him the door!"

"This girl was hiding in here, too. Even though she's too proud to admit it."

"Enough. Who are you kids?" He took the pencil from behind his ear.

"Drake Parker."

"Emme Jessica Watson."

He checked their names off on his attendance sheet.

"I'm Ted Smithers the group moderator and I'll be expecting you two to follow me to

room 105."

Smithers didn't know much about the Watson girl, but he spent about ten minutes on

the phone with Parker's stepbrother Josh and knew if it weren't for the fact that he got

caught hiding he'd have stayed in this room and skipped the meeting.

"Watch where you're going!" Emme said when Drake tried to get to the doorway

before she did.

"Sorry, your highness."

(he's such a jerk)

"Guys, do you think you could go five minutes without sparring?" Ted warned them yet

again.

_She's such a jerk._

It was the real beginning of Drake Parker's journey. Not the diagnosis, the surgery, the

start of chemo, the wicked side-effects, the relationship with his family, or his existing

friends, it was meeting number one at the San Diego Teen Cancer Support Group.

It was going to change his life forever in ways that the seventeen year old could never

have imagined.

_Author's Note: To be continued… and Emme didn't go to the previous day's_

_meeting. You'll find out why in the next chapter. I didn't want anyone thinking_

_that was a goof. Thanks for all of your reviews so far. I appreciate it._

_Fixed small timeline error._


	5. The Group Part Two

**Chapter 5**

**The Group**

**Part Two**

…**where we left off**

'Great. Just great.' Drake thought to himself because of his argument with the snotty

Emme Watson and being caught by the support group moderator meant that Drake

_had_ to attend this meeting and he wasn't pleased about it. Especially when Clipboard

Ted slapped a 'hi my name is' sticker on his shirt. Right over the Zero Gravity band

logo.

The 'e' at the end of 'Drake' looked like an 'o', He was almost tempted to grab a

Sharpie off the long table and fix Ted's hasty scribbles.

"You're in the way again!"

"Would it kill you to say 'excuse me'?"

"No, the cancer's doing that just fine."

"Will you guys stop arguing?"

"She started it." Drake told Clipboard Ted and felt like he was in second grade and in

the playground of Gage elementary when Louise Kinney kicked him in the shins for no

reason.

"Hello." A smaller boy said to Drake, he almost didn't notice him standing there.

"Hi."

"I'm Herbie Hancock. My parents thought that was a cute thing to do. It's more

embarrassing than the cancer and dwarfism."

Wow. That was an unkind double whammy. Triple if you count the moniker nod to a

new wave video pioneering musician.

"Drake Parker." He shook the kid's hand.

He was one of those eager kids that wanted to be involved in all extracurricular

recovery activities.

"So, what are you?" Herbie asked Drake proud of his name badge.

"Excuse me?" Drake walked with him to their seats. It was better having a

conversation with this friendly kid than the insufferable Emme.

"What's _your_ cancer?"

He couldn't believe he was having this discussion, but he didn't want to hurt Herbie's

feelings.

"Localized osteosarcoma—there's no staging system."

"I know. I read up on all the cancers. I have stage II Neuroblastoma."

Drake felt he had no right to complain. Not only did this guy have cancer, but his

dwarfism probably made it harder for his body to fight it.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Drake. It's the cards I've been dealt. My doctor's didn't think I could make it,

but I'm still here. My Grandmother calls me her 'little fighter'. I'm not going to give up, I

hope you don't, either."

Wow. What a little ball of inspiration.

Drake couldn't help but wonder what was going in the restroom when he saw Emme

walk in with another girl.

_I don't care about HER, I DON'T._

_It's the drugs._

"What kind of place has a cancer support group meeting in a place with only ONE

bathroom stall?" Emme asked out loud, she certainly wasn't talking to the girl in the

California Angels baseball cap.

"My name is Amy Sigler. You can go first. I'll wait in the hall if you are umcomfortable."

"No, thank you!" Emme replied in a huff. She wanted to hide and there were no secret

places to blend in. Damn it all to Hell.

She hated _ALL_ of them.

"…you have Fender Strat?" Herbie asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah. I won one. But my brother Josh kind of set it on fire, but he replaced it for me

with his own life savings and got Devon Malone from Zero Gravity to autograph it."

Drake didn't mean to tell a condensced version of that story. He quite liked telling that

tale, but he was tired and his mouth was dry.

"Will you show me your guitar someday?"

"Sure."

Clipboard Ted sat in his chair as everyone who wasn't already sitting took their places

except for Emme Jessica Watson who stayed standing by the greeting table where

she was hoping to blend in and wouldn't have to participate.

"Let's see if I missed anyone," Ted took the pencil from behind his ear again, "Miss

Watson, there's a seat available."

_Don't look over._

_What did I tell you?_

_It's a reflex_

…_A force of habit._

"Don't you know she's too special to get involved?" Drake couldn't help it.

The words just flew out of his mouth.

"I hope you are this talkative, Mr. Parker, during our introductions."

"I'd rather stand. And weren't you going to take role, Mr. Smithers?"

Yesterday was so much better with the waterworks turned on (although, it wasn't all a

put-on) and she got her mother to take her to Neiman Marcus instead.

Who wouldn't want to get a new Burberry novacheck totebag?

"I have presents." Herbie announced.

The air was starting to get very thick thanks to the negativity Emme was brewing in her

own little corner.

He gave everyone including Miss Snotty Emme a pack of Biotene gum who couldn't

even utter a proper "thank you" she just shoved the packet harshly in her purse.

Was Drake ever grateful for this, at this point it was the best gift ever.

"Thanks, man." Drake said popping two pieces into his mouth.

How did his Mom miss this product?

"That was nice of you, Herbie." Clipboard Ted said.

There were always the extra nice kids like Herbie in the groups, the negativity

monsters like Emme, and the kids in the middle who just wanted answers.

"Why don't we go around and introduce ourselves."

"Herbie Hancock, I'm fourteen years old, have stage II neuroblastoma, and I live with

my parents and Nana."

"Do you have any hobbies?" asked Clipboard Ted

"Yeah. I like to make models and I hope to start playing the guitar."

Drake was dreading this. Give him a guitar and a microphone and he was at home,

but this all-eyes-upon-you group session was going to give him another rash, but

everybody had to do this and that included Miss Priss who was still standing in the

corner with her head down.

"I'm Drake Parker. I'm seventeen. I have localized osteosarcoma—and I'm sorry this

is bugging me—you over there with the superior attitude—Emme Jessica Watson, if

one person does this, we _ALL_ have to. If you don't come over here me and, " Drake

scanned the name tags, "James are going to pick you up by your arms and make you

sit down."

"I don't have to take this!"

"Good, there's the door," Drake was wondering why Clipboard Ted wasn't stopping

this like he did the other few times, "And don't let it hit you on the way out."

Clipboard Ted might tell her mother about things and that was the only reason why she

allowed herself to be talked to in such a manner. Why did the only available seat have

to be next to this cretin?

"I'm sure she's just scared, Drake." Herbie added

"And the rest of us aren't? I really hate to break it to you, honey," with sarcastic

emphasis put on the 'honey', "we all have cancer, so stop acting like you are better

than all of us."

"Okay, okay. Why don't we take a time-out for a few minutes?"

"What are we five years old?" Drake was on a roll.

"You can continue with your introduction only." Clipboard Ted replied

watching Emme blink feverishly to prevent crying as she slouched in the chair.

"Where was I?"

"Localized osteosarcoma."

"I live with my parents, brother, and sister. I used to be in a band," That was the first

time Drake used the past tense to describe his musical career. "That's about it."

"Emme, do you want to tell your introduction now?"

"I'll do it. I wouldn't want to make Don Juanoma upset."

_What did she mean by that?_

_Oma equals tumor_

_Josh will know the rest._

"I'm Emme Jessica Watson. I'm sixteen years old and I have ovarian cancer and had

to get a hysterectomy."

"Is there anything else that you'd like to add?"

"Yeah, I have a message for Don Juanoma and the rest of the group, I really hate to

break it to all you honey's, _but we're all going to die_."

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	6. The Group Part Three

**Chapter 6**

**The Group**

**Part Three**

…**where we left off**

**ff net is seriously lagging today, but I got everyone's reviews in my mailbox. **

**I'm sure they'll show up on the site soon.**

_I'm Speechless._

That brought down the energy level in the room. It was as if someone left the water

running in the bathtub causing it to spill over. The ceiling cracks and then the floor

below gets damaged.

Even the happy-go-lucky-go-with-the-flow Herbie didn't have anything to say in

response to Emme's declaration that every single one of them was going to die from

their cancer even Clipboard Ted the moderator was taken aback for a moment.

"Is that what you think, Miss Watson? I guess according to your theory I should have

died twelve years ago. I had testicular cancer."

That made Drake grateful for his osteosarcoma in his proxial humerus that was for

certain. He couldn't imagine having cancer in his man area.

Emme was out of words, out of breath, and out of energy.

"I'd rather not talk anymore."

"Let's continue the introductions shall we."

Drake couldn't help tuning out the next person to speak. He was trying to picture what

this Emme Jessica Watson was like pre-cancer. Was she always negative and mean

to people? Or was that just her way of handling the situation? She certainly clammed

up when Clipboard Ted revealed to the group that he was a cancer survivor.

And he probably was saving that for the optimistic _"we'll all get through this together"_

big finish, but that's what happens when the bubble bursts.

_Why am I thinking about her?_

"Mr. Parker---."

_Shit._

"Yeah?"

"Care to share with the group your thoughts?"

_Great. Now people are going to think I had no interest in their suffering and only _

_mine __mattered._

_Not true._

_I'm not that arrogant._

"Not really."

"Well, I expect you to know everyone else's name by the next meeting."

What is this school?

"I'm sure Drake didn't mean to space out."

Thanks, Herbie.

"Thanks, Herbie."

Clipboard Ted looked at his basic black leather strapped Timex watch and dismissed

the formal group session for the day and reminded everyone treatments and

surgeries aside that he hoped everyone came back in two weeks.

Emme peeled off her name tag from her blouse and crumbled into a little sticky ball

that she proceeded to toss to the floor. How dare that moderator slap it on her before

she went into the restroom?

She wasn't going to come back to this place. She'd rather get her chemotherapy and

visualize a tunnel of blackness than to be here in a support group where she was

supposed to reveal all and be magically "healed". That concept was complete bullshit

to her.

"Just what are you looking at?"

"Nothing much, Miss Priss." Drake replied.

"I know your type."

"My type?"

Drake did not know why he couldn't let this go. Why couldn't he just walk away from

this mean spirited young woman?

"You're the popular kid in school who thinks having cancer is above you. I hate you."

_You don't even know me._

"What am I supposed to say back? How about this? I think you're nuts."

Her eyes blinked. Let this Don Juanoma of the group think he got to her today? No

frigging way was she going to let that happen. She just did the "nose up in the air"

walk and hoped that her mother was outside waiting for her so they could go home in

their shiny black Lexus.

Drake had something to do despite that he wanted to go home himself and take the

world's longest bath, which he knew he was going to fall asleep in the water and the

last time that happened Josh was standing there ready to pull him out. Drake would

have preferred a plugged in hairdryer to land in the water over that embarrassing

moment.

"Look, Drake, we got goodie bags." Herbie announced handing one to him.

Drake never knew someone other than the small children or the handicapped who

took such pleasure in such seemingly little things.

"Thanks."

"You'll be back for the next meeting?"

"Of course." He had to regularly attend now. If he was anything like Emme Jessica

Watson he would want to be stoned to death on the spot.

Drake peeked inside the bag. Biotene toothpaste and mouthwash, a foam bath

pillow, a little packet of Kirk's coconut soap, and a brochure which was probably filled

with gleaming optomism.

"Good. I'll see you next time."

"Bye."

Where did this strange woman who was standing by the greeting table come from?

Well, his looks might have been questionable at the moment, but Drake Parker would

have liked to think he still had his charm. She was a twentysomething African-

American who was wearing maroon colored hospital scrubs.

"Hi."

"Hello, Drake. Do you need to call for a ride home?"

_How did she know my name?_

_Oh my name tag._

"No. My brother is probably outside waiting for me. I need a photocopy of the

attendance sheet," Drake coughed, "My mom would like a copy."

Hey the parents in the PTA used to get copies of the school class lists, so this

shouldn't be a big deal.

As long as Clipboard Ted was gone from view this could work..

"You can have this, sweetie, Ted has the original."

"Thanks."

_I still got it._

Now he could just memorize the people's names he did not know for Clipboard Ted's

ridiculous faux assignment just because he blanked out his thoughts during the last bit

of introductions. It was good to know he could still impress the ladies.

"Hey, Drake, how'd it go?"

It was Walter who picked him up instead of Josh.

"Dad, you don't have to come inside like I'm an invalid."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"Do you want to stop for something?"

"No, not really."

Forget the bath. Now he just wanted to go to bed. He wondered if Emme Jessica

Watson would be attending the next meeting?

"Okay." Walter replied wishing he could say more, but he knew that pre-cancer Drake

always had guarded feelings, so this was no different.

_Why am I still thinking about her?_

_Make it stop._

"Would you like to go to mall for a smoothie?" asked Mrs. Watson to Emme on their

way home.

"Not really."

"How was the support group, dear?"

"We had a BLAST! I made several FRIENDS! Let's see—there was a LITTLE

PERSON like Mini Me from The Surreal Life his name is Herbie, I met a GIRLFRIEND

in the restroom named Amy, _and I met a LOVELY BOY named Drake."_

(I wonder…)

(I wish...)

(I hope...)


	7. Overheard

**Chapter 7**

**Overheard**

…**a day later**

Josh's school existence seemed to revert back to how it used to be before his father

married Drake's mother. With the exception of Mindy and some of his club buddies he

rarely talked to anyone. He was alone again.

There was no reason to sit at Drake's lunch table. They weren't his friends. Besides,

sometimes he liked to go out with Mindy and grab a bite to eat off school property at

the local diner. Besides being an academic he really wasn't there to socialize and be

the guy that girls want to have sex with and that other boys were envious of. He took a

red folder out of his backpack.

Josh really had to give Drake credit; he was doing all of his assignments. Not

because he really gave a damn about Belleview High School. For his English

composition paper Drake talked into a tape recorder and Josh transcribed it for him.

And no, it wasn't a meaningful insightful paper, which slightly disappointed Josh. He

just spit back the words and concepts that he knew the teachers wanted to hear.

You know to just get by.

Josh's last class of the day was math and he had to give the teacher Drake's

assignment before heading to the Premiere for his after-school job.

Josh took out Drake's math homework and placed it on the teacher's desk.

"Thank you, Josh." said Miss Alden, the new math teacher, a nubile sort with

strawberry blonde hair and green eyes that Drake would have had fantasies about

had he ever seen her. The kind of teacher that made metal bands write songs

dedicated to their behind the glasses hotness.

"No problem."

"How is your brother doing?"

"Fine." But those words didn't seem right. What did being 'fine' actually mean?

"This next assignment isn't due until next week." She handed him some more papers

for the red folder.

"Thanks, Miss Alden."

Josh couldn't help but think of the possibilities of Drake not making it. He wasn't one

to burden his family or anyone else with those thoughts. But it played in the back of his

head.

What if Drake died and left him alone for real?

"Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

"No, I'm fine."

Fine again. What did it mean to be fine?

"I just finished grading your last test." Miss Alden slid the paper face down towards

him.

Josh swallowed before picking it up.

"A sixty."

He tutored Drake so he wouldn't have take Algebra II for the second time and now he

gets a damn sixty.

"Your performance has always been good. I'm sure you are stressed out regarding

what is going on with your brother."

"I'll do better next time, Miss Alden."

"I tell you what if you can stay after school tomorrow I'll let you take the test over."

Those kinds of things usually just happened to Drake, Josh was certain that he carried

zero charm.

"Thank you," Josh looked at his watch, "I have get going or I'll be late for work."

"If you'd like to talk anytime, I'm available." Boy, could that line be taken out of context

if anyone just came into the conversation.

"I'll see you." Josh couldn't wait to get out of that room it felt like one hundred and fifty

degrees inside. He half wondered if she was coming onto him?

Mindy had to leave after her last class because she had to go the library to work on a

project that wasn't due for two months. Josh normally would have loved her for that, as

he was the same way, but now he wished she was here.

Josh was exhausted, but didn't think it was right to even have the feeling. School,

work, taking care of Drake, helping out around the house, and being a boyfriend it was

too almost too much for him to take. He just wanted a break from it all.

He heard some female voices around the corner and he was transfixed on the last

locker before making the turn when Drake's name was mentioned.

"Do you think that Drake lost his hair?"

"I don't know—how gross if it's true."

"He used to be _so _hot."

"I used to want to date him, but not anymore."

"I know. Who needs need that headache and embarrassment of going out with

someone who has cancer?"

"Word. It certainly makes Josh the more attractive one doesn't it?"

"But he think he's Mr. Cool with that lame ass earring of his."

The other girl laughed some more. "It's _so _eighties."

Josh could've swung around the corner and told them idiots off,

But they just weren't worth the time and effort. He decided to go out

of the side doors instead as two reflex action tears slid down his cheeks.

One thing was for certain Drake did not need to know about this, it was just another

burden for the brother from another mother to carry.

Note: I made a Yahoogroup for us D&J fan fic writers. If I wasn't able to send you an

invite because the site here blocks URL's, please email me (see my profile) and I'll

send you the link to join.


	8. He Couldn’t Get Her Out of His Mind

**Chapter 8**

**He Couldn't Get Her Out of His Mind**

…**same day as previous chapter**

Drake rubbed his eyes about to throw things at Josh, Megan, or whoever left the TV

running. Noise never bothered him before, he liked his music loud and putting the

volume up on the television. Naturally, it was sensitivity due to the "C" word or make

that the two "C" words that was the recent culprit of everything wrong with him. He used

to love sleeping and doing nothing outside of going on dates with the requisite hot

chicks and playing in his band, but now sleeping was like a prison term. How come the

feel-good literature never showed a cancer patient in bed with the look of doom and

frustration on their face?

He propped up his pillows and sat back. Funny, the TV wasn't on. So where was the

noise coming from?

Drake was curious but didn't feel like getting out of bed. There were days when he

didn't want to do anything, but yet that noise was there pleading with him to come

investigate it.

This used to be the coolest bed in the house, but now he couldn't just jump carelessly

down to the ground, not after the time he almost lost his balance when his body was

reminding him, "Hey, you've got cancer, maybe you should just take it easy."

He went down the ladder and actually had to hold onto the bars, which really did make

him feel like a non-conqueror. That the victory could not be reached, that Drake Parker

could not get to the top of the mountain and mount his celebratory flag for the world to

see that he could beat his disease.

Where this noise coming from? The floor was cold even with his socked feet, but he

still was intent to keep on walking onward.

"Megan." He mumbled when he saw her open room door.

The unknown sounds getting closer and louder than they were before when he was still

in his bed.

It was her stupid computer blaring some kind of nonsense. It wasn't even music, it was

just some random older male announcer with a typical game show host voice dressed

in a cheaply made three piece suit talking.

"Now here's the entry from St. Patrick's featuring Mary Lopez and…"

_How do I turn this speaker off?_

"My name is Mary Lopez."

"And I'm E.J. Watson."

_Emme Jessica…_

_(E.J.?)_

_...long blonde hair_

Unison: "Us and the rest of the St. Patrick's Tigers cheerleading squad want to remind

all of you kids to be a winner and stay off drugs."

_you CAN smile…_

…_you're pretty_

"…Next up…"

_No, don't go away._

Drake put his hand on the computer screen.

"Hey, Boob, what are you doing in my room?"

"Come back." His voiced cracked like Rose DeWitt Bukater's as his eyes started to

well up for reasons he did not want to consciously admit.

"Drake, what's wrong?" Megan asked genuinely concerned

"Wha-What?"

"Drake, do you want me to get Mom?" Audrey kept her physical office time down to a

part-time basis and did the rest of her work at home in case her proud son needed

her.

"No. What's this thing on your computer?"

"Something my school is making us watch for drug awareness week so we can do a

report on it."

"Can you email me that video please?"

There was an urgency in his voice and she thought he had to be exhibiting madness.

"Sure." If it was going to make him happy to see a bunch of kids, who probably all

dabbled in the drug culture themselves, speak out against doing them in the first place

then who was she to judge?

"Thanks and do it _NOW_."

"Alright, Drake, I will." She was able to send embarrassing to Josh video moments to

her pals in China in minutes flat, so this was a piece of cake.

What was happening to her brother? Sure he used to be a careless Boob who only

cared about his hair, having sex, and playing his guitar. But this incarnation frightened

her.

Drake ignored his feelings for quenching his thirst, even though he knew he shouldn't,

but it was only going to be for a minute as he sat down at the computer desk.

He got nervous and put on his instant messenger typing feverishly.

**FenderGod: Did you email me the video clip?**

**XxMeganXx: Yes. Check your email.**

**FenderGod: Thanks, bye.**

**FenderGod is now offline**

Drake banged his palms on the desk as he waited impatiently for Real Player to open.

_Fuck…advertisements?_

_Who cares about KDJY and it's partnership with the San Diego School district?_

_Fast forward….please…_

_Computer don't freeze…_

_Wait…too far…._

_Go back…._

_E.J. Watson, smiling cheerleader, with the long blonde hair._

Two weeks until the next meeting? He wished he was sitting in that support circle right

now being insulted by Miss Priss with her wrapped too tight silk head scarf.

Drake must have watched that tiny clip twenty more times before going to the mini

fridge under his bed to take out a bottle of sugar free berry juice.

_You're not a mean person._

_You only want people to think you are._

Drake went to sit on the sofa to finish his juice, blankly stare at the television, and to

daydream like he used to do.

_I know your type._


	9. Closed Doors Part One

**Chapter 9**

**Closed Doors**

**Part One**

…**a few days later**

"What are you doing?" Josh asked in a raised voice as he entered the garage at

midnight.

"Washing my car." Drake replied casually dipping a sponge in a green plastic bucket.

He hoped he could get that set chocolate fudge popsicle juice off the steering wheel

of his 1977 sapphire blue Pontiac Ventura.

"DRAKE! You had chemo today!"

Did his brother completely lose his mind?

"Relax, it's the non-toxic orange cleaner and it was yesterday."

He thought Josh was supposed to be a heavy sleeper? Drake couldn't wait for the

day when he could have his own bachelor apartment, of course, Josh would probably

want to live with him and be "roommate buddies".

"You should be in bed resting!"

"Will you stop raising your voice?"

"I'd feel better if I did this," Josh slapped the sponge out of Drake's hand letting it fall

into the bucket, "Why don't you sit over there in the lawn chair?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm," Drake clutched at his stomach, "a child."

"I'm sorry, bro. I just worry about you. I'll finish your car, you do what you have to do."

"Okay, but I'm coming back." Drake said in a determined way that Josh hadn't seen

from his brother in quite awhile.

"I don't think I could stop you."

Geez, Drake's car was disgusting. Candy wrappers, soda cans, paper tablets, and

what in the world?

"I told you, I'd be back, Josh." Drake did decide to sit on the yellow and green striped

lawn chair, but it was not because Josh told him to.

"You car is gross."

"I need everything in that car."

"A dead bird?" Josh didn't want to touch it, but he was going to have to be the one to

dispose of it.

"Aww…Tweeter died."

Josh bit his tongue as he rummaged through the rest of the junk.

"Bottle caps."

"Mocha Cola had a contest."

"My G-O! I couldn't listen to my music for three months. I thought it was stolen. You

didn't say you were the one who stole it."

"You didn't ask." Drake slightly turned up his lips to almost smile.

"So, why does you car have to be so clean all of a sudden? Mom's not going to let

you drive until the doctor's give you a clean bill of health."

"I know. That's where you come in."

Josh mentally rolled his eyes. "Where am I taking you?"

"Del Mar Meadows Road."

"The houses in that neighborhood cost a lot of money. What business do you have in

that section of town?"

"Someone I know lives there."

"Drake Parker stop being vague. What's her name?"

"Emme Jessica Watson."

_E.J.?_

"The girl in the video clip?"

"Yep."

"The one who hates you and everyone else in the support group?"

"Yes, Josh. It's an act. I'm going to see how she is on her own turf."

"So, you want to hit on her?"

Like you always do?

"No, it's not what you think. Although, I don't have to answer to you."

"You don't, but who is going to drive you on this adventure if you continue to piss me

off?"

For once Josh had the upper hand and he was going to use it.

"Is that how you treat someone with cancer?"

"Don't you even try that, Drake."

"But you are so unflappable—and to answer your question, yeah it is, when they are

acting like a jackass."

Drake yawned this was enough witty repartee for now. "After you finish up, you better

get a good night's sleep. As soon as Dad leaves for his meeting and Mom takes

Megan to the hair salon we leave. Goodnight, Josh."

"Goodnight, Drake." He sighed

Josh didn't know whether to laugh or to be mildly ticked off and concerned on top of it.

He just started another round of chemo today-okay it was after midnight, yesterday,

but why was Drake acting like Don Juan? No wonder this Emme person called him

Don Juanoma.

It's always about the women with his brother.

On one hand Josh felt he should have been a bit more grateful that his brother with his

changed appearance, a little weight and hair loss and dry skin issues would even

want to approach any females at this time.

But on the other hand, it was like that English composition that he didn't

draw from his current life situations.

Was he just trying to score? And doing it with a fellow cancer patient didn't exactly

make it right.

Drake never told him anything meaningful. He had to always beg, plead, and nag like

a 1950's sitcom wife. And according to his brother it wasn't what he thought. Bullshit,

Josh considered, it was exactly just that and Josh Nichols wanted no part of it.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_

_I couldn't resist the little nod to Drake & Josh: Go Hollywood_


	10. Closed Doors Part Two

**Chapter 10**

**Closed Doors**

**Part Two**

…**next morning**

_Damn it._

"JOSH!" Drake yelled at the top of his lungs as he kicked the covers off him. "JOSH!"

"What is it, Drake?" Josh asked nonchalantly while holding a white plastic laundry

basket.

"Why did you let me OVERSLEEP? It's almost eleven o'clock." Drake put his knit cap

back on because his head was cold. He must have taken it off while was sleeping when

the room got too hot. Drake wished it would stay one temperature in his body.

He also couldn't believe his mom let him oversleep. Josh probably said he would take

care of him.

_Why did you let me oversleep?_

There used to be a time aside from school mornings when waking up at eleven o'clock

in the morning used to mean 'early'.

"You need to get your rest. And you know you can't just dart out the door."

"I know what I need to do in the mornings. We won't be able to leave the house until

almost eleven-thirty."

Drake would have skipped breakfast, but he knew one little pesky thing could throw his

whole system out of whack.

"About that," Josh said in a quiet voice as he put some of Drake's t-shirts in his dresser

drawer, "I thought about it and I'm not driving you to this Emme person's house."

"WHAT?" Drake really wanted to smack him.

"I can't be privy to your lies. It was never right before, but now that you, and not to

mention that she also has cancer—I cannot do this."

"What are you fucking talking about, Josh?" Drake left the room to brush his teeth with

his hospital approved soft nylon bristled red handled toothbrush.

Drake was expecting Josh to follow him. He also didn't have all day to stand there.

Drake would drive himself if he weren't sure of himself getting sick or causing an

accident because he couldn't pull over to the side of the road in time.

"Don't curse at me when I'm only trying to help you and save that girl the typical Drake

Parker heartache."

"I don't have time to argue with you." Drake squeezed the Biotene toothpaste out of the

tube and proceeded to use the Bass Technique, which is how it is recommended for

some cancer patients to brush their teeth by holding the brush at a forty-five degree

angle and wiggling the brush around ten or so times before doing the next sections the

same followed up with a regular slow brush through.

"It's really for the best."

Drake spit in the sink as he grabbed the mouthwash,

"You can leave the bathroom." Drake wiped his mouth with his arm.

"I hope you don't hate me, Drake." Josh said standing just outside the doorway.

Josh always did want Drake's approval, love, and friendship.

"I don't hate you, Josh," Drake spoke in a soft voice that startled Josh for a moment,

"But I'll be damned if I'm going to explain myself to someone who should just accept me

for who I am and _know_ when things are different. After breakfast you can call me a cab."

Drake didn't wait for a response he just closed the bathroom door in his brother's face.

Great, the only urge he had was to empty his bladder. Who would have thought your day

would be judged on whether not you took a crap? It's the chemotherapy mixed with

those damn iron supplements. Drake felt like one big experimental lab rat.

_Look at ME _

_What gives Josh the right to judge me like that? _

Drake took his cap off and placed it on the clothes hamper while he put his hands to his

face. His skin felt like the stainless steel pads his mother used to clean the roasting pan

after Thanksgiving dinner. His nails had a yellow tint to them. He was going to forego

his face grooming with the all-natural, made for sensitive skin, recommended by cancer

centers that his mother purchased for him. But he was still Drake and the part of him

that wanted to look good and be seen was still there.

He didn't like the birch leaves shampoo that was supposed to promote hair growth, not

when you are in the middle of chemotherapy it doesn't.

_My hair doesn't look too bad._

It was thinning and most of the fall out was in the back and some on the sides of his

head, but it wasn't falling out to the point where you could see a bald spot forming.

_Not yet._

He put his cap back on, excited about this new day and the possibilities that went with

it.

_I still look good. And I can hide that pimple with hypoallergenic concealer._

There was a knock on the door. It had to be Josh, and not just because he was the only

other person besides Drake who was even home at the moment. Drake just knew his

brothers habits.

"Drake, are you okay in there?" Josh said to the unopened door.

"Yeah," Drake sighed a bit, "You can come in."

Josh opened the door, "I made French toast."

"Cool."

"Listen, Drake, I'm sorry about what happened. If you need a ride to Emme's house, I'll

take you."

Drake smiled, "Thanks, man." He squeezed Josh's shoulder to indicate that he needn't

worry about it, not that, that would stop Josh because he was one master worrier. It was

all right.

Drake gave himself one last look in the mirror before going downstairs to start his

morning.

_I'm still good looking._

_Even with the knit cap._

And for reasons he didn't want to verbalize Drake Parker smiled.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	11. Closed Doors Part Three

**Chapter 11 **

**Closed Doors **

**Part** **Three **

…**on the way to Emme Jessica Watson's house**

It was difficult for the talkative Josh to keep his mouth closed while he drove Drake to

Emme's house, but the houses in these wealthy sections were so extraordinary. Some

of the exteriors he recognized for those people that allowed the outside of their

properties to be used in motion pictures or television. The wealthy really do live

differently, with their spaced out houses, some with fences or in the cases of the

"guess who lives there?" types a wall and a fence combo to keep the psychos and

paparazzi out.

Not that it mattered in terms of personality, but Emme's parents must have been quite

financially well off.

"How did you find out Emme's address?" Josh inquired.

There was something about a well-manicured lawn that made Josh fantasize about

settling down into the good life with Mindy as Mindy Crenshaw-Nichols sitting on a

veranda and having a lemonade out of crystal flutes enjoying the sunshine.

"Believe it or not their address was in the book." Drake played with the zipper on his

navy blue with green racing stripes track jacket.

10 Del Mar Meadows Road

"Is Emme really going to like you showing up unannounced like this?" Josh treaded

water carefully, but he also didn't want to see his brother get hurt.

"I would think that she'd like the _surprise_." Drake raised his eyebrow in confidence.

Josh figured he better segue into another subject, he didn't want to push for

information and mention his own opinion on it because he knew valued his privacy.

"I cannot believe you're not complaining about the radio not being on."

"It gives me a headache."

_And I'm a rock and roll musician—I'm supposed to like the volume loud and proud._

"Do I turn left or right here?" Josh asked out loud 

"Turn left. And Josh you didn't have to change the subject before."

"I just—well, I know you like your privacy, bro. I do hope it goes awesome for you."

"Thanks."

"Wow. That massive tudor? That's a great house."

Drake wasn't concerned about the architecture.

"Hey." Drake undid his seat belt when he noticed an intercom box on the outside of

Josh's driver side window.

Thankfully the car came to a stop, he thought he was about to throw up again. The ride

felt like one big roller coaster, but he wasn't about to admit it.

"Don't worry, I have it under control."

"Hello, this is Josh Nichols on behalf of Drake Parker from the Teen Cancer Support

Group, may we please visit with Emme Jessica Watson?"

Drake thought that was a mite too formal, but he questioned what did he know when a

voice said, "Come in." and the massive metal gate with the big metal "W" opened.

"Thanks, Josh." Those weren't the words Drake would have used.

He would've been polite as his mother taught him when he was a toddler wearing his

denim OshKosh B'Gosh overalls and eating Cheerios with his tiny fingers, but he

wouldn't have been so formal and he was convinced that was what cinched it.

Josh loved driving the length of this massive circular driveway. He really hoped that

someday he could provide Mindy with a house such as this.

Outside was a older woman carrying a bright orange box with a navy blue ribbon on it

standing by a blindingly shiny Lexus.

"Is that Emme's Mom?" asked Josh feeling the butterflies in his stomach so Drake

wouldn't have to.

"I'd imagine so." Drake opened the door, he didn't know if the urge to throw up was

due to his cancer or just the general nervousness of the situation. And he was Drake

Parker normally calm, cool, and collected when it came to girls. Normally.

"Hello." Drake said extending his hand

"I'm Mrs. Watson. I think Emme would most like this surprise. Follow me." She

punched a bunch of numbers into a security pad to open the cherry wood doors with

the spaded "arrow" accents. She put the big box on top of the entryway mahogany

sideboard.

Drake didn't have time to ooh and ahh over the furniture, artwork, or anything else so

he certainly hoped that Josh didn't ask for those details because he wouldn't have

known a Picasso from a Pollock. They were just names his hippie-esque art teacher

Mrs. Grimes who smelled like patchouli oil and musk mentioned to get them to release

their "inner artist".

"Would the steps be too much for you?" Mrs. Watson asked.

He was a sweet looking boy…or_ lovely_ as her daughter referred to Drake as.

"No."

"Okay, well, I have to step out for a moment. Go upstairs and Emme's door is the

second on the left. It was nice meeting you Drake."

"You too and thank you."

(What are YOU doing here?)

(WHY?)

Emme fumbled in her dresser for a scarf and ran into her bathroom to put it all

together with a white gold heart shaped pin.

(Stick your nose up in the air)

(BE a SNOB)

(Put the mask on)

(PUT IT ON!)

The young girl counted to ten in her head before answering the gentle knocks on the

door.

"Hey, Emme, I couldn't wait for the next meeting to see you."

Drake Parker admitting _that_ to a female?

"How did YOU get my address? I certainly don't remember giving YOU permission to

come over."

"Are you done with your act, Miss Priss? I saw you E.J. Watson in your cheerleading

uniform telling the youth of America not to do drugs."

Her eyes widened like saucers.

He saw _her _when she was that different person called _E.J._?

"YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO SEE THAT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! BEFORE I SEND

THE DOGS UP!"

There were no dogs, just an over decorated dog house next to the guesthouse for

Dipsy the poodle who died five years ago. Drake didn't realize that of course, but he

did know she was lying about the dogs and mostly everything else that came out of her

mouth.

"You're lying."

"GET!OUT!OF!MY!HOUSE!" She pushed him with what little strength she had today.

This fighting was no good for her body.

"Fine," Drake replied, "I'll go."

"Good Riddance."

_She didn't even acknowledge my name._

As soon as Drake's body was out of her room she slammed the door tight like a bank

vault and locked it.

Emme Jessica rested her back and head against the door and let out the silent

screaming tears, she turned her body and put her palm up against the door.

Drake was half way down the plush off-white carpeted stairway with the ebony banister

and slightly turned himself around thinking for a brief second to go back up there but

then at the last second decided against it.

There were no words when he got in the car with Josh, but his body was going to

violate the moment and Josh handed Drake a empty round cardboard ice-cream

container with the top off.

"I figured just incase you needed something."

Josh didn't ask Drake how it went. He knew how it went. The hurt in his brother's eyes

was explanation enough.

"Do you want me to leave the car for a---"

Too late for the pleasantries as Drake threw up in the ice cream box. Josh handed

Drake the top when he was done.

"I have a pack of mints in my pocket."

"Mints? I don't want any—oh shit…" and he almost didn't get the lid off the container in

time.

_Maybe that could be the new Ben and Jerry's flavor vomit berry crunch._

Drake got sick again. Josh was almost afraid to start the car up.

"I promise that I'll drive slow."

"Get me out of here, Josh. _Please_."

"I packed some bottled water…"

"I don't fucking care. I just want to go home."

Emme after her puke fest and ripping the pages out of old yearbooks snuggled up in

her bed with the floral themes.

She wrapped herself in the blankets feeling the worst she ever felt in her life, she didn't

even notice when her mother came in with the big orange box.

"Sweetie, are you up?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Look what came in! I was going to save this until Christmas, but I thought you could

use a nice surprise now."

For her mother's sake she forced herself upright but could care less about this whole

conversation.

(I'm broken)

"The best gifts come inside the orange box." Emme said wryly.

"Come on, open it, dear. I know you'll be pleased. You've wanted one for a very long

time."

It was a Hermes Blue Jean 30cm Birkin in togo leather with palladium hardware and the dangling

charm was in the shape of an elephant, also in palladium.

"Thanks, Mom."

A hug was given so that she'd just go away.

"You're welcome. I'll make you some herbal tea before your lunch. By the way

speaking of surprises how did your visit with your _lovely_ friend Drake go?"

"Just how I expected it to go."

(That wasn't quite a lie)

Mrs. Watson smiled and kissed her daughter on the cheek. "I'll be back upstairs in a

minute with your tea and maybe some cookies from that fabulous new bakery in town.

If you need me, just use the intercom."

"I will. I think I'll lie down for awhile, Mother."

"Okay, Sweetie." Mrs. Watson closed the door softly behind her.

When she knew her mother was far away from where she could hear her, Emme

Jessica Watson let out a shrill scream and threw her brand new six thousand dollar

enviable status symbol purse across the room.

(What's another four letter word for ugly?)

(Emme).

_Author's Note: To be continued… _


	12. Closed Doors Part Four

**Chapter 12 **

**Closed Doors Part Four**

…**the next Teen Cancer Support Group Meeting**

Drake really did not want to go to this meeting at all. If it weren't for Herbie and some

of the others he would have stayed home. If cancer was good for one thing and one

thing only, it was the fact that it made you _think_.

You think about the fact that you might die from your disease but it wasn't always the

heavy topics sometimes it was the little things like maybe, next time you'll pick up

your clothes off the floor so your mother or brother don't have to do it for you.

So, Drake Parker thought in between from the chemo days to the walk around the

block ones, he's never thought so much in all of his seventeen years. He also made a

decision. He was done with Emme Jessica Watson. He didn't know _the hold_ she

had over him or why he even _cared_, but she really was a Miss Priss. Drake was sorry

that she had cancer, he'd have never wished that on a soul even Hewitt from the

Belleview Choral Society who stole his song at the Belleview Talent Contest when he

was crowned the three-peat king thanks to Josh's help.

Drake also thought about Josh, how their relationship was like how it _always_ went.

There were days when they'd be fighting over his ethics over how Drake treated the

girls he dated and then there were days when he would help him walk upstairs if the

tiredness and pain were too much to bear.

He wondered if he'd see Megan get married and become a young woman? If he and

his mother could talk more about the deeper things and maybe someday and not in

an empty promise way that maybe he and Walter could go golfing. Why not? He was

his father in the real way that counted.

Drake sat in Clipboard Ted's office with the door open and was in the process of

stapling some papers together about nutrition plans for cancer patients. He didn't

even see Emme walk in the community center.

Emme hated being here, but if she made a fuss over not wanting to be here, her

mother would only probe her for information. She saw Drake from the open doorway

stapling papers together and being lost in a silent world. One word could make it

right, but Emme couldn't afford to make it right, when all she had was her hope that it

would all just go away. She walked by the window to stare at the hustling and bustling

crowd.

People walking with their briefcases, I-Pods, and shopping bags, it wasn't the

crispness of New York City, but San Diego had the California cool that she used to

love.

Drake came out with his stack of blue-stapled papers and his heart went into his

throat at the site of Emme. He figured he was being tested and she had like

everyone else in the program a right to be there. Still he'd like to know what exactly

was going on in her head?

Emme felt those shivers down her neck like when you think someone is talking about

you. She turned around and her eyes met with Drake's.

Her blue eyes were a mix of bravado, survival, and a secret of hoping to be exposed

to lift the burdens that she was carrying.

His brown eyes were of two basic emotions hurt and anger.

"Oh, I can see you finished stapling those. Thanks, Drake." Clipboard Ted said

breaking their brief eye contact.

"No problem." Drake went over to the side table to pour himself a cup of boiling water

for some mint tea, he was thirsty, but needed something more than plain water.

He was not going to play her game. Even when Emme walked by but kept herself at

a safe distance and it was hard to ignore a pink pleated just below the knee skirt.

Drake just pretended that she was invisible. Like those playground games you play

at recess when you are little.

_She had cooties._

He wrapped the tea bag around the white plastic spoon and then put

that in awhite paper napkin to toss it in the trashcan.

No sugar or milk. He was bitter so he figured the tea should be as well.

"Hello, Drake." Oh, thank Heaven for the little people.

"Hi, Herbie."

"I think my mom might let me get a guitar. Will you help me pick one out?"

"Yeah."

_Should I give him the Fender Strat? It'd be a nice gesture._

"Thank you, Drake. Hi, Emme."

She was going to walk away from him and sure enough she did. Drake couldn't hold

it in any longer,

"That was rude." Drake said to her back as she walked by her window spot.

"We're not starting that again, Mr. Parker. And don't think I forgot about what I asked

you to do."

_What did this moron want me to do? Oh yeah, know everyone's name here._

"Don't worry about it, Drake. Cancer changes people." Herbie reminded.

_But not always for the better._

"But not always for the better."

Why not say it out loud?

"Miss Watson would you like to sit down?"

"not really."

"If you are not going to participate than you can wait in my office until your mother

picks you up." Clipboard Ted said in a stern voice.

"i don't care."

But Drake could not let it go. He did not know why, but he just couldn't let it go.

"I think you do care." But Emme was already gone and if she heard what he said, it

didn't bother Miss Priss in the slightest.

"Mr. Parker, come here."

Drake did not like the guy's tone, but he had to get up to throw away his styrofoam

teacup. He couldn't finish his tea.

"What?"

"I'd like to talk to you for a second."

"Okay."

"Excuse me, I have to get a pencil from my desk." Clipboard Ted grabbed a pencil off

his desk as Emme laid on the small sofa curled up like a sad kitten on a windowsill.

"Drake, will you get me my coat on my desk chair, please?"

It was a dirty, nasty, rotten trick when Drake realized Clipboard Ted always had a

pencil behind his ear and by then he was already in the room when the Teen Cancer

Support Group moderator closed and locked the door from the outside with his key.

Drake sat on Clipboard Ted's swivel chair and swung it around.

"Don't talk to me and I won't talk to you."

Drake supposed this sitcom inspired idea of Clipboard Ted's was supposed to

make everybody hand-holding friends at the end like a Lifetime movie of the week?

Emme turned around to face the room, but still stayed in her position on the sofa.

Drake was reading People magazine more like scanning through it and not even

looking at the scantily clad actresses at Hollywood social functions, one of his

favorite activities.

Drake slammed the magazine down, "Stop staring at me."

"Don't honor yourself."

"By the way, I don't care how you treat me, but you should apologize to Herbie, that

was just really rude to ignore him when all he did was say 'hello' to you. Why? I don't

know. You certainly aren't worthy."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, whatever. Life is too short for me to even spend one more minute talking to

you. Let's just get through this hour."

_Clipboard Ted should be lucky I don't report him or take away the other ball…_

_He better hope my bladder holds out._

Emme pretended to fall asleep, but her heart was beating so rapidly that she thought

she was inflicted with tachycardia on top of her cancer.

Drake did one of Clipboard Ted's crossword puzzles in ink as he waited the forty-five

long minutes for the door to open.

"Your experiment didn't work," Drake said to him, as he needed to make a run for the

restroom, "We aren't friends. And I don't know everyone's name here. I didn't even

have time to memorize the roster, so dock points on my participation, I do NOT care."

Drake walked away leaving Clipboard Ted to deal with Sleeping Miss Prissy.

"How did you get a stain on your blouse?" Mrs. Watson asked Emme when she

came inside to pick her daughter up as she used the Tide pen she carried in her

hard rouge red Hermes Kelly on her daughter's blouse.

"I don't know, Mother. Can we leave now?"

She didn't know why her mother felt compelled to come in and thankfully Clipboard

Ted was busy with other matters.

"Of course, dear. How was the meeting?"

"_WONDERFUL. _Drake and I got to spend the whole day in here helping Mr. Smithers

with an experiment. And that little Herbie kid and I had a sweet exchange."

"That's nice, honey. You'll have to tell me about it on the way home."

"I'll tell you what your daughter can tell you on the way home, Mrs. Watson,"

(Where did YOU come from?)

"Hello, Drake."

Hmm, maybe there was a reason for Josh being stuck behind a two car accident and

would be late picking Drake up. He certainly didn't mean to eavesdrop.

"Maybe, Emme would like to explain to you, Mrs. Watson on the LIES she's been

telling you."

"What's this about, Emme?"

(OH! I HATE, HATE, HATE, YOU!)

"Mother, can't we go home now?"

"No. I want to hear what's going on and if you don't tell me, I'm sure Drake will."

"With pleasure." He crossed his arms and felt victorious. She was being exposed. He

wondered what other crap she told her mother?

"I'll tell you, just not with HIM present, please!" She pleaded with real tears. They

weren't fake tears at all.

"I don't understand. I thought you two were almost dating."

"Dating?" Drake coughed.

"Mother…" Emme sat on the couch; she'd have run her fingers through her hair if she

had any.

"You lied about your first day here, didn't you? Is that Amy girl your friend?"

"No." Drake said triumphantly.

"Drake,"

"Sorry."

Emme was her daughter after all.

"You lied about making friends? Why?"

"anywhere but here, jesus christ, mother, please." She buried her head on the small

white Army surplus pillow and sobbed while her mother stroked her back for some

mild physical comfort.

That was it.

Game Over.

Drake could see Josh from the window and felt all hollow inside. It really wasn't a

victory. There were no winners here.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Mrs. Watson," Drake said softly, "I have to go

now, my brother's outside."

Drake felt the lump forming in his throat and did his best to swallow it without going

into a coughing fit.

"Goodbye, Drake, and I'm sorry for my daughter's actions."

Drake sighed as he walked away. He was outside with his hand on the car door

handle when he put up his hand to indicate "five more minutes". Josh nodded 'okay'

and wondered what was that all about?

There was something else that needed to be said regarding the situation. Maybe to

say something to put a closure or capper on it, maybe something to make Mrs.

Watson feel better about her daughter being a liar and to close the book chapter in

his brain that was marked "Emme Jessica Watson".

Drake walked back inside, if anyone was around him he really didn't notice.

He noticed Mrs. Watson holding her sobbing daughter, her tight head scarf

becoming undone, her secrets beginning to be exposed.

"I have one more thing to say and then I'll leave," Drake put his hands in his jacket

pockets and then took them out again while uttering some of the most sincere words

of his young life,

"_I would have been a real friend._"

No reply from either one of them was needed. Drake just walked away and didn't turn

back as he left the building to join his brother in the car for the bittersweet journey

home.


	13. A Mother's Love

**Chapter 13 **

**A Mother's Love**

…**days later**

Drake fell asleep on the living room sofa. He barely touched his lunch, which was what

he asked for a turkey sandwich on seedless rye bread with the mild no-flavor generic

yellow mustard and a cup of chicken broth. At least he drank the broth and his apple

juice.

Before Audrey took the tray back into the kitchen she made sure he had enough

blanket and she kissed Drake on the forehead.

She saved her tears at nighttime in bed with her husband at least with Walter's arms

around her she wouldn't break entirely and she did believe him when he told her that

"Drake was a strong kid. He would be okay."

He had to be. He was her beautiful not-so-little boy anymore. Drake was growing up to

be a fine young man. None of this seemed particularly fair.

What if they lost him? She didn't want to think about losing her first-born child. To hear

him breathing was the most beautiful sound. What she wouldn't give to be telling him to

turn down that loud guitar playing, "it's past ten o'clock, people are trying to sleep."

Drake hardly picked up his guitars anymore; he said that it felt "different" and "odd". No

long rambling thoughts, because that was not Drake Parker's style, but just a rare

personal insight inside his soul.

Audrey thought she would just wash the dishes by hand instead of using the

dishwasher. She didn't want the noise from the machine to wake him up. The phone

rang and she almost tripped over her own ankles to answer it that wouldn't wake her

son either.

"Hello, is this Audrey Nichols?"

"Yes and this is?"

She closed the wooden privacy blinds. Drake looked so content sleeping that Audrey

hoped that he was having a good dream. Even if it were the standard young man

making out at the Playboy Mansion with the centerfolds in the grotto dream. Anything

that would put a smile on his face nowadays was fine with her.

"I'm Beverly Watson, Emme's mother. I hope you don't mind me calling you."

"I have to admit I don't know what to say." Drake didn't tell her everything, but a few

nights ago he did _confide_ in her somewhat about how he and Josh went out of the

house on Drake's insistence to see Emme Jessica Watson and the results of the

locked door experiment. Which made her and Walter briefly think of suing Clipboard

Ted or least report him to his superiors, but that wouldn't be fair to anyone. Especially

for the other kids in the support group.

Audrey did have a nice phone conversation with him though reminding him that it

wasn't a good idea to be locking cancer patients in offices no matter how good the

intentions were they did not justify the means.

"I'd like to apologize for my daughter's actions. I advised her to send out cards to

everyone in the group because at this point she doesn't want to attend another

meeting, but this was something that I wanted to do."

A card wasn't going to make things right. Once he received it, Drake would probably

throw it in the trash. Audrey couldn't blame him if he did.

"I appreciate the gesture, but to be quite frank, Beverly, I don't understand the reason

for this call." She kept her voice even toned.

"I was hoping that maybe I could throw a dinner party at my house for the group. You

are the first one I called because of the problems between Emme and Drake."

They were problems that _your _own daughter created for herself and had inflicted her on

others.

"I cannot speak for the other parents, but I don't think this is a good idea for us. I know

you are trying to do the right things. Well so am I. I love all my children. Drake is not the

kind of kid that confides in anyone often and he means the world to me that I cannot do

anything that will jeopardize our relationship. Whatever happens between Drake and

your daughter should be between them. It's really not our place to decide."

"I'll respect your decision, Audrey. I love my daughter the way you love your son. She

hasn't been happy in a long time and I've been blind to a great deal of things. Maybe,

we can have lunch sometime? I really could use a parents support group."

Audrey thought that was a good idea. Her co-workers were supported but with the

exception of two people there that had to deal with cancer in their families no one else

truly understood her families plight.

"Sure. As long as you understand that I'm not forcing our kids to be together even as

friends. It's up to them."

"Of course. I have to go now and check on Emme. It was good talking to you, Audrey."

Their wealth couldn't fix this and Mrs. Watson wished it were that simple a remedy as

to write a check and make the bad feelings go away.

"Same here, Beverly."

That was interesting. The truth was that Audrey would like another parent to talk to who

was going through the same things, but she wouldn't keep this from Drake. She lost

interest in washing the dishes and wrapping up Drake's half eaten sandwich, she

thought she could work on her knitting until her son woke up from his afternoon nap.

_I know, I'm dreaming but this feels right._

The illusion of the unknown was shattered when a noise came from outside and woke

the teenage boy up from his sleep.

"Wha--?"

"Drake, you can go back to sleep. It's just the moving men from across the street."

_Did they drop a piano?_

"No," He stretched, "I have to get up." He decided to sit up he did enough lying down

for the day.

"Do you need anything, honey?"

_How about my life back?_

But Drake wouldn't have said that to his mother considering she was concerned about

him and asked the question out of a pure place.

"Not right now, thanks."

Audrey was torn of staying in her chair or joining Drake on the sofa. She figured it

might have been selfish and cloying if she sat with her son at that moment.

"Drake, I had a very interesting phone call while you were sleeping that I'd like to

discuss with you."

_Was it Dr. Jennings?_

It couldn't have been Dr. Jennings if his mother used the word 'interesting' to describe

it.

_OH NO._

_Did SHE call?_

"Mrs. Watson wanted to talk to me about throwing a party for all of you kids in the

support group. I didn't think that was a good idea. She also apologized for Emme's

actions."

"_Sorry doesn't make it right_."

Boy did Audrey know her son or what? And was glad she didn't cave into Mrs.

Watson's well-intended suggestion regarding that group party.

"I explained anything that happens is really between you two."

Drake was glad that he had a mother who understood him. He would have been

mortified and angry if she had gone behind his back to try and make things "right".

"I appreciate that." Drake got up.

"There's one more thing. It's not directly about you or Emme." She could see the

tension in Drake's shoulders, which was why she added that part to put his mind at

ease.

"Yeah?"

"Would it bother you if me and Mrs. Watson had lunch together and had our own little

cancer parents support group?"

"No, it doesn't bother me at all. I'm going to take a shower before Josh and Megan

come home." Drake kissed his mother on the cheek and gave her a short hug, "Thank

you, Mom."

_It really doesn't bother me. _

_Everyone needs someone to talk to._

_Except me._

_And Mrs. Watson is certainly nicer than Emme._

_Damn her._

_I love you--Mom._


	14. Garbage

**Chapter 14**

**Garbage **

…**two days later**

Why did Josh always have to be involved? All he did was offer to get the mail. He

wanted to see if he got his college catalogues, especially the one from Princeton

University. Despite being on the Honor Society Josh didn't think he had the makings

of a true Ivy Leaguer. He only applied there because Mindy did and they wanted to

start their college careers together. There were no college catalogues in the mail only

one from JcPenney and a stack of bills.

The envelope was lavender as well as lavender scented. The handwriting was neat,

charm school cursive.

To: Drake Parker

From: Emme Jessica Watson

The middle of the envelope was squishy indicating that there was a note inside of the

card.

There was an underlined message in neat bold block lettering in red ink on the bottom

left hand corner:

Please Read

Josh put the rest of the mail back in the mailbox and decided to get this over with as

soon as possible.

Drake set up the Monopoly board on the coffee table in their room. Surprised at

himself, because he hasn't played Monopoly in like years. Well, the strip version last

year with the senior twin cheerleaders Monica and Marcia Horan in their out-of-town

parents basement didn't count.

Community Chests, indeed.

"Hey, Josh. Come play Monopoly."

"Wow. You must really be bored."

Or board. Josh saved Drake the bad pun.

"What's wrong? You look like you ate too much pie."

_Yeah, how good is pie?_

"You got something in the mail, Drake, and I'm afraid to give it to you."

"Why? Don't worry about it, man."

"Okay. You got a card from—Emme." Josh handed Drake the card that he had hidden

inside his orange hooded sweatshirt.

"That's what you were afraid of?" Drake smiled.

Josh questioned the smile in his mind.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Drake got up and Josh was too curious to not follow him to see where he

was going with it.

"Drake, where are you going?"

"You'll see, Josh."

They walked to the garage and as soon Josh's eyes focused on the dark green plastic

Rubbermaid large trashcans that were stacked neatly in the back he knew exactly

what his brother was going to do. Drake undid the already loose knot Josh made in

one of the white kitchen Hefty bags for tomorrow morning's pick-up and put the

unopened envelope in the trash bag and then tied the bag in a tight knot.

"Are you sure that you are okay?"

"I'm great. Apart from a 'little' cancer, I feel just great. Let's play Monopoly. I'll even let

you be the racing car."

Josh knew not to push his brother so to get him to open up for a magical reveal so he

just followed him back upstairs. Josh didn't know what all of his opinions were on this

subject.

Yes, Emme did a hurtful thing to Drake and the rest of the kids in the support group,

but his brother got the most of the hurt and that wasn't right. Yet, she was probably a

terrified girl underneath all of the rudeness who probably just wanted to push everyone

away so they couldn't get close to her because she had cancer and she didn't believe

that she was going to make it. It was like she was trying to spare people in a very

unfortunate way.

But Josh was a sucker for a happy ending. He'd love to see Drake be a one-woman

man and bury every single skanks phone number in the backyard along with his fish

Renaldo because he didn't have the heart to flush him down the toilet. His brother

could pull her to safety, which was probably what Emme wanted all along.

"I'm going to bring up a snack do you want some pudding?" Josh asked

"Chocolate?"

"Is there any other kind?"

"Sure. Thanks, Josh."

Drake continued upstairs with no revealing emotion on his face, it was like a part of

him that wanted so desperately to be woken up was put right back to sleep forever

and it didn't bother him one bit.

_I-I don't care._

"I'm glad to see you dressed for our walk on the grounds." Mrs. Watson said to her

daughter, she couldn't help buttoning up her soft yellow cashmere cardigan for her.

"I can't stay in bed all day, all the time."

(Did Drake get the card?)

The only ones who wrote back were Amy who just signed her name on a standard

'thank you' note card that she was probably prompted to do by her parents. Herbie

made her a homemade card on his computer and enclosed some samples of some

sensitive skin and safe for cancer patient's lotion that his Aunt Iris was selling. They

walked three quarters of the way before Emme opened her mouth on the subject.

"Mom, do you think Drake got the card yet?"

"I'm sure he did, dear." Mrs. Watson liked to walk with a solid piece of tree branch so

she could scrape the dirt that was along the edges of the smoothly paved surface.

"Can we stop here?" Emme liked to hold onto the brown fence to look at her horse.

A chestnut brown Arabian named Peanut Butter Cup who was ten years old. She

wished that she could ride him again.

"Do you want to go back inside?"

"No, I want to look at Peanut Butter Cup," She waited a few seconds, "Did you have

lunch with Mrs. Nichols yet?"

"No and no. I know what you want to ask and the answer is no."

"But Drake is stubborn!"

"You're going to question Drake's actions? I'm sorry; Emme Jessica, but you pushed

him away. How do you expect him to react?"

"Why can't you TALK to Mrs. Nichols for me?" Emme didn't want to cry, she was afraid

her mother would accuse her of shedding crocodile tears.

"Because we agree that it is not our place to get involved in these matters."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"The answer will come to you."

Emme was this close to calling her mother 'a bitch' out loud. What was she going to

do ground her? She was already a walking death sentence.

For the rest of the walk around their lavish spread Emme did not speak one more

word to her mother.

(Why won't you help me?)

(I am your own daughter.)

It was four o'clock in the morning when Josh got up to go pee. He was worried that

Drake was not in his bed and when he walked to the bathroom he got even more

concerned when the room was empty. Josh put away his urge to use the bathroom for

a moment and went to look for his brother. He swore if his brother took his car and

snuck out for a drive to only God knows where Josh was going to strangle him after he

hugged him upon a safe return.

There was Drake in the garage putting a hole in the garbage bag because he tied

the knot too tight to pull out the lavender envelope from Emme Jessica Watson. It had

spaghetti sauce on it and drips of Italian salad dressing.

Josh didn't want Drake to know he was down here so he quietly left the room, stubbing

his toe on Megan's bike because she moved it earlier when she went out for a ride.

He bit his lip to keep from cursing and hobbled to the bathroom.

By the time Drake put the unopened envelope in his top desk drawer and climbed

back into his bed Josh was already there tucked into his own covers.

"How's your toe?" Drake asked, while grabbing the raspberry scented alcohol free

anti bacterial hand wash that his mother wanted him to use.

Josh pretended to be snoring as to not admit that he was spying on his brother.

"Goodnight, Josh." Drake laid on his side and pulled the covers up snuggling back

into his blue blanket.

_See what's inside?_

_It's going to take some time to realign._

Author's note: Lyrics of "I Found a Way" by Drake Bell and Michael Corcoran.


	15. What Your Visualization in Chemo Says Ab

**Chapter 15**

**What Your Visualization in Chemo Says About You**

…**six days later**

Drake sat at his desk, while he aimlessly doodled on a piece of yellow lined paper. He

wasn't in the mood to do any of his schoolwork assignments. They weren't "due" until

next week and a lot of teachers including Mrs. Hafer who had no problems verbally

mentioning that she hated him gave him a "C+" on his last test instead of his usually

"D's" bordering on "F's" with little mean notes written on the bottom that he should

"study harder" and "be more like his brother". Twice today he took out the lavender

envelope from Emme out of his top drawer and twice today he put it back in its still not

opened state. Which seemed to be his ritual since he fished it out of the garbage about

a week ago.

Girls used to be no problem at all for Drake Parker. He would lean against the row of

pale green lockers and could wind up with about five phone numbers in five minutes.

That was a girl a minute. He could go to the Premiere and chat-up any girl that was in

line and all he had to do was to get her a soda with Josh working there and Helen

thinking he was a sweetheart he never had to pay for anything in the place. The movie

theater was like his own personal playground. He would wind up in make out city

without having to spend a dime. Then there was the matter of his gigs, the bread and

butter of available "hot chicks". So, why was Emme Jessica aka "Miss Priss" Watson

so different? Apart from Mrs. Hafer and Josh's girlfriend the Creature Mindy Crenshaw,

she was about the only girl who was rude to him. But she was impolite to _everyone._

Yeah, Herbie from the support group was right cancer does change people, but it didn't

give her or anyone else the right to treat people like shit. So, what was Drake supposed

to do now? Open up her squishy card (that obviously contained a note on top of the

card) and it'd be all right? Just like that? It was never all right with her. She never even

gave him a chance. And Drake Parker _never _had that problem in all of his seventeen

years. Females _always _loved to gather around him from the time he was in

Kindergarten and all of the girls wanted to sit by him when it was sit in a circle story

time.

"Hey, brother from another mother, what are you doing?" Josh threw his backpack on

the floor. Drake might have wanted to stretch out on the sofa later.

"Hi, Josh," Drake quickly opened up one of his school books, "My homework."

It didn't look like it. Josh really wanted to open up his mouth on this Emme subject, but

he didn't want to argue with Drake over this. He had to make his own decisions.

"I just came home to take a shower, change, and grab a snack before I start work. Do

you need anything?"

"No."

_I'm not an invalid._

_She was sobbing into her mother's arms._

_Her head scarf was becoming undone._

_But she hurt me—_

_How can I forget that?_

_I never had a problem with girls before until I encountered Emme Jessica Watson._

Drake pushed his books out of the way and put his head on the desk. Not realizing he

had the power all this time.

Emme didn't believe in the visualization literature. This exercise her doctor

recommended was most condescending.

'Try doing visualization exercises, imagining the cancer cells being zapped from your

body.'

That's not what she wanted to imagine not in a million years.

She felt like she was a robot when she went in for her treatments, as soon as Emme

was able she let her mind go. She was in school wearing her blue and white

cheerleading uniform, her long blonde hair was in a bouncy ponytail, and she happily

ran from the clapping and stomping pep-rally in the gymnasium. The sun always shined

in these visions there were only cheery white puffy clouds in the light blue sky that

looked like marshmallow shapes. She ran until she came to a fork in the road. Emme

stood there for a while this was the first time the road was divided and she didn't know

which way to go. Closing her eyes she would let her body, mind, and spirit guide her to

the right path. When she opened them she was elated that the sky was still blue, the sun

was still bright, and he was at the end of the road. He had all of his hair too and they

looked like they could be the class couple.

Too bad he didn't go to her school. It didn't matter in this flowing vision.

"Hi." Emme took his hands.

"Hi." Drake said, smiling.

Then the sun went into the clouds and the sky turned gray. There were thunderclaps,

lightening bolts, and the rain about to come crashing down on them. Drake let go of her

hands. Emme stood back, the wind picked up, and knocked her to the ground as she

aged about forty years and the vultures came flying in to take the hair off her head.

Emme crawled on her hands and knees as Drake had vanished and was nowhere to

be seen.

"But we didn't even get to kiss!"

The pavement split open and she was thrusted inside by an unseen force. By then the

storm had stopped and the pavement was replaced with a grassy field with tiny spring

flowers around the small-unmarked rock where her body lay below.

"NO!"

"Honey, what's wrong?" Mrs. Watson asked the question before the hospital staff could.

She put her caring hands on her daughter's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek.

"only everything."

_How can I forgive you?_


	16. Look Around You, Drake Part One

**Chapter 16 **

**Look Around You, Drake**

**Part One**

…**three days later**

The more the time went on, the angrier Josh Nichols got. Maybe, because his first kiss

was with the two timing Susan the standard tramp of the week that Drake liked to date

who was also smitten with him. Which made Josh feel slightly better about himself that

there was a woman out there who not only fancied the brother that _everyone _liked, but

him too. And that was _before_ his weight loss. Still there was no substance there and

Josh never would have accepted Susan's advances because she was supposed to just

have his eyes for Drake. That's what made finding Mindy Crenshaw his formal school

rival and Science fair competitor so sweet. When they opened up their hearts to each

other, it was a wonderful feeling, and it wasn't just his male hormones either. He really

did L-O-V-E her. Did Drake ever love any other female that wasn't his mother and on

the rare occasion his sister? Maybe, he and Emme would never go out on a date with

each other let alone get married and live the much hyped but very few people actually

experienced "happily ever after" fairy tale ending. They could still be friends.

What was wrong with Drake? Sometimes, Josh really wanted to wring his neck.

Josh was mindlessly wiping the concession stand counters at the Premiere. Helen

didn't even seem to notice.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

No reply.

"Hey," A hand waved over his face, "A penny for your thoughts?"

"Hi, Mindy," Josh finally stopped wiping the counter. He could see his face in the

gleaming reflection. "I thought your parents didn't let you out of the house when you had

to study for a test?"

"I can lie to my parents." They kissed each other softly on the lips.

"Drake cornered that market."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Josh decided to take his fifteen minute break now instead of five minutes

later. After all if slacker Gary could sleep on the roof why couldn't he take his break a

little early?

He took Mindy by the hand so they could sit down at in the small food court area. It

wasn't the most private place in the world, but it would do.

"Let me guess, you need a vacation?" Mindy put forth. They kissed and he didn't even

notice the apricot lip-gloss.

"Yeah, I do. But it's not why I'm pissed. It's Drake."

"Did you two have another fight?" The brother dynamic fascinated Mindy because even

with Drake dealing with being a seventeen-year-old cancer patient he and Josh still

found time to argue like they would always do. She just had an anal retentive,

germophobe, obsessive-compulsive brother named Alden who would go in absolute

mad fit if you put your fork into the dinner meat.

"Not really. He _STILL _hasn't opened Emme's card."

"Josh," Mindy let out a long sigh, "I hope this doesn't mean you are going to take it upon

yourself to get _involved_."

"But if I don't get involved nothing will happen."

"If it's meant to be between Emme and Drake then it will be. It's really not up to you."

"Mindy! You are supposed to be supportive."

"What? I'm not allowed to disagree?" She crossed her arms, but was determined to not

fight with her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry. But, I think my brother could use a little helping in this area. He doesn't know

everything about the opposite sex, you know."

"You don't have to tell me." Mindy tried not to pass judgment with that sentence. But it

was no secret that her and Drake weren't exactly the best of friends. They just tolerated

each other especially now. It's not like Mindy wanted him to die. All life was precious,

even for teenage cads like Drake Parker.

"Mindy. That's another thing, why can't the two of you be friends?"

Jeez. She'd rather he interfere with the Drake and Emme situation then try to make her

be buddy-buddy with his brother.

"Because it's not meant to be. And that's the whole point, Josh. You have to learn that

_you cannot control those things_. The more you dig into private matters that are

basically none of your business the more Drake will wind up resenting you. And you

don't want to be estranged from your brother, do you? Because Drake is stubborn and I

think once he pushes someone away they are gone from his life for good. And if that's

the case with Emme, that she is gone from Drake's life then please remember that no

matter what personal issues that she has she brought it on herself."

Josh knew that Mindy made sense, but it's like telling a depressed person to "snap out

of it" or telling an alcoholic about how "easy" it is to give up the sauce and be sober. He

really couldn't help himself.

"I suppose you are right. Listen, I have to get back to work. I'll see you later, Mindy."

He kissed her on the cheek and walked away and walked to the back storage room

where he couldn't follow her. Mindy looked at her watch with the leather lime green band

and said out loud, "Fifteen minutes did not go by yet." Mindy left the Premiere in a silent

huff, wishing she stayed at home with her schoolbooks instead.

This was not good. Josh was going to get involved and cause even more trouble for

everyone and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	17. Look Around You, Drake Part Two

**Chapter 17 **

**Look Around You, Drake** **Part Two**

…**later that evening**

Josh was too wound up to sleep after he got home from the Premiere. He quite enjoyed

having the kitchen to himself, as everyone was asleep upstairs except for Walter who

was doing the eleven o'clock weathercast.

He took a can of Mocha Cola out of the refrigerator and it was when he sat alone at the

table that he sighed. He missed having Drake around. Even if he was bugging him with

details over his "latest female conquest" or interrupting him from talking by playing

overly loud guitar chords. Maybe, they'd play a game of cards or just hang out.

Whatever _it_ was, he missed it.

Instead Drake the one who _never _went to bed early and could be counted on to be out

on most weekends was in his bed with cancer.

That was why he and Emme shouldn't be avoiding each other. They had so many

experiences that they could share and not just in a support group circle, but just alone in

their own private corner.

_They needed each other._

Josh crushed the can and put it in the little red recycle bin that was kept under the sink.

And guess who had to take that out on most occasions? He was debating if he should

have a brownie or some special trail mix from the health food store. Mention one thing

to your parents and they hold it over your head forever. Josh decided that he really

wasn't that hungry and decided to go upstairs.

He didn't look at Drake's bed when he turned on the lamp by his bed.

"I won't keep the light on long." Josh said taking off his watch and tossing it on his side

end table.

No answer.

"You must be sleeping." He toed off his white and black sneakers and noticed that

Drake wasn't in his bed.

Well, at least he wasn't rummaging through the trash or attempting to clean his car,

Josh thought noticing that only five markers were in their yellow and green box instead

of six. Did that mean Drake finally opened Emme's card and was replying?

Josh couldn't resist to take a peek and to get his blue marker back. Ick. There was

something sticky on the floor. What in the world? Josh went by the front door to turn on

the main lights. His heart skipped a beat there was a trail of vomit from Drake's bed to

where it stopped before the front door.

"Drake!"

Josh tried to remain calm. He didn't want to worry his mom or Megan. Josh did not

bother to knock on the bathroom door and that's where he found Drake lying on the

floor, drenched in sweat, and slightly moaning.

His PJ's were vomit stained and there was a surprise in the toilet.

"Drake!" Josh laid him on his back, "Oh my God! Drake, you are burning up!" He made

sure there was no waste lodged in his mouth, "I'm going to get Mom, okay?"

The only thing that reassured Josh Nichols was a small blink from his brother as his

moans got progressively weaker.

"Drake! Drake! Honey, can you hear me?" He was able to nod a bit as Audrey cleaned

him up the best she could with the nearest thing available to her which was Megan's

pink washcloth that was draped over the sink.

Megan stood in the doorway, her face expressionless. Was this it? Was this the end of

her brother? The teenager that thought he was teaching her how to shoot darts but who

really did teach her how to ride her bike when she was five.

"MEGAN, WILL YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Josh snapped at her plowing right

through her body.

Megan did not say a word back.

"The ambulance will be coming shortly."

Audrey stared at Josh with a broken face. She turned the washcloth into a cold

compress for his forehead.

"s-sick." Drake started slowly, but was determined to pull himself up,

"s-sick."

Josh continued to watch Audrey grab the small wicker wastebasket and dump all of the

contents on the floor with one hand so that Drake wouldn't have to reach for the toilet.

The other arm around her son. He couldn't help wincing at the disposed of feminine

products that were tangled up in what was once peppermint dental floss.

"Aww, my sweet baby. Let it out, you'll feel better."

"But he already threw up in his room and in the toilet and that didn't make him feel

better." Megan reminded.

"SHUT UP!" Josh said

"fuck you." She whispered in the smallest of voices before silently making her way

downstairs to put the lights on in the living room.

"I'm very worried about this fever. Josh, can you make another cold compress?"

"Of course." Josh grabbed a fresh white washcloth from the small iron rack that was by

the bathtub and went to drench it in the coldest water that would come out of the faucet.

"It's going to be okay, Drake," Audrey kissed his head, "I promise nothing bad is going

to happen to you. I promise." She knew she shouldn't have been making such a

promise, but no parent in their right mind would not be anything _but_ optimistic.

For all of their sakes.

"Mom—" The smell was getting to Josh so he flushed the toilet. He'd take care of the

wastebasket later. After all if it wasn't toilet number three in the men's restroom at the

Premiere, it was cleaning the family bathroom.

"Josh, you stay with your brother. I'm going to wait for the ambulance. I love you,

Sweetie. I'll be back soon." She kissed Drake on the forehead. Audrey didn't know how

she was staying so stoic in the face of all of this happening to her beautiful sweet boy,

the one who was born under a lucky star but she was managing.

Josh kneeled down and put the compress on his flaming forehead.

"Drake," He wasn't as strong as his mom as the tears flowed out of him quite easily,

"Don't give up. Do you hear me? Don't you give up! We all love you." Josh cradled him

in his arms until the paramedics came to take him to the hospital.

"by-e." Drake let his eyes naturally close, but only for a little while.

"No! I LOVE YOU!"

He almost didn't want to give him up to the paramedics. _They didn't love his brother _

_like __he did._

"Josh, let them do their job." Audrey wiped at her own eyes. She had to let a little bit of

emotion out when she was downstairs calling the station to talk to Walter who was on-

air at the time and how she hated telling a virtual nobody that to have him go to Sharp

Memorial Hospital as soon as possible.

"I'll get the car ready, Mom." Josh looked down and realized he needed to put his

sneakers back on.

Megan watched from the porch as the paramedics carried Drake away on a stretcher

and onto the ambulance.

"I hope that you don't die." That Boob knew she loved him, didn't he? He just couldn't

die. She swore she'd get a gun and kill all of her classmates if Drake died. Then she

was mildly scared that she even thought that.

"MEGAN, GET IN THE CAR!"

Would this Boob ever stop yelling at her tonight?

Megan ran off the porch to join Josh and Audrey in the light brown Honda sedan as they

followed the ambulance into the unknown.

Audrey had her fingers interlocked and up to her lips. She felt guilty that she didn't ride

in the ambulance with her son.

"Hold on, Baby, everything is going to be all right."

But no one in the car was even sure of that. That was something that they could only

hope for. And they, including Walter who was a nervous wreck as he drove to the

hospital from KDJY, were all hoping.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	18. Look Around You, Drake Part Three

**Chapter 18 **

**Look Around You, Drake** **Part Three**

…**An hour and a half later**

Megan ripped a magazine subscription card in little pieces cutting through the silence

of the cold and sterile beige painted waiting room at Sharp Memorial Hospital. Audrey

rested her head on Walter's shoulder and just when she felt her body want to collapse

from exhaustion she vowed to stay awake for her son. Why wasn't anyone coming

through the door to tell them _something_ about Drake?

Josh was back at the house on Audrey's insistence to pick up a few magazines,

underwear, some PJ's, and her notebook computer for Drake so he would have

something to do when he woke up.

"Why hasn't anyone come in here, yet?" She carelessly picked strands off her pink

blouse like you would from a shedding pet. Then she realized this was Drake's hair.

"I'd like to believe that no news, is good news, honey." Walter replied hoping that his

suggestion would comfort his wife.

He wasn't sure if he believed his own advice though. When he and Audrey got married

Drake wasn't exactly doing cartwheels about the situation and he certainly didn't treat

Walter like a real father until almost a year after he had the title of stepfather. Walter

loved that young man like he was his own and underneath the "cool unaffected rock and

roll guy" persona Drake really was a good kid. It was only just a few days ago when he

asked Walter when he brought him upstairs a cup of bland chicken broth if he

remembered that time he suggested they go golfing together? And that when he was

up to it, he wanted to go to the Fletcher Hills Driving Range after all Drake added that,

"Alice Cooper does it."

It made Walter feel great that Drake actually wanted to talk to him, on purpose and not

out of a politeness to his Mother. The teenager who would actually hug him because he

was his son just as much as Josh was. And he meant the embrace and it was not a

device as to fool Audrey to make her satisfied that her husband and biological son

were bonding.

Walter Nichols was old-fashioned and wanted to be strong for his wife and the kids. It

wouldn't do anyone a world of good, especially Drake, if they all carried on crying and

letting their negativity win. He loved him so much that there was just no way he could

die. God blessed him with two sons and one smart little daughter and they weren't

supposed to leave first. He almost started to cry thinking about that, but dismissed it

away as a simple clearing his throat cough.

Audrey nearly jumped up out of her skin like those miniature popping spring toys five

minutes later when a Doctor, who looked like those M.D.'s you see on prime time

television, an older gentleman of forty-five who was keeping the wrinkles at bay by

getting the latest and greatest injections and who had unmovable news anchor hair.

Audrey didn't wait for the doctor to speak first she wanted answers and was worried

sick to be bothered with hospital protocol.

"Doctor, how is Drake?"

Josh couldn't leave the house in the condition on which his family and the paramedics

left it. After he put the computer and some back issues of Q and Uncut in his backpack

he went to the sink to get a bucket and opened up a bottle of Pine-Sol.

"Aww, Jeez! I should've filled this upstairs!" But Josh felt he didn't have a right to do

anything other than do what was correct and expected of him so he made do and

carried the filled bucket upstairs. He'd have to make a second trip to get the mop that

was in the laundry room, but that was okay.

Besides, he liked to do house cleaning. He didn't want his mother to come home to an

untidy house and he certainly didn't want to return to the hospital. Not yet. The knots in

his stomach had finally subsided for the time being and he just couldn't think of the

worst news that was a reality at the moment and that was of a life without Drake.

The chance of a life without his brother was not something that Josh wanted to process

right now.

Josh wanted Drake to be upstairs on his bed playing his red Fender Stratocaster at all

hours of the night giving him that "What? I'm not doing anything look." It must be what all

of the girls adored.

Girls!

Emme!

Josh stopped in a mid-mop position as he was cleaning the bathroom wondering if he

should stop what he was doing and pick up the phone and call Emme or at least give a

message to Mrs. Watson?

No. Drake was going to be all right and he could make that call himself.

Josh did let the mop fall out of his hands and onto the floor when he thought of the one

call that he _did _have to make. He decided to use the phone in his parent's room so he

could sit on his Father's dark green recliner chair that everyone chipped in for Father's

Day last year.

"H-Hello?" asked a sleepy raspy voice

Cell phones were a great invention as Josh had no desire or will left in him to bargain

with the uptight Crenshaw's that they put their daughter on the phone line.

"Mindy, I have some---"

She cut him off. "Oh, Josh, I'm so sorry." She felt her eyes tear up.

Over him?

Yeah, really.

"No, Drake's not dead. But he's bad Mindy, he's really bad."

"What happened?"

"I found a trail of puke in the bedroom that led to the bathroom and Drake was on the

floor in pain—and he has a fever---and he kept throwing up, he couldn't stop---then he

fell asleep—at least I hope he fell asleep and is not unconscious because his last

words to me were 'bye.'---I don't know what we're going to do." Josh sighed

"Oh my. I hope Drake is going to be okay."

And surprisingly enough she did mean that. He was her verbal sparring partner and she

did secretly think that Drake was a good guy in spite of how he used every single girl

that he dated.

"Me too."

"Where are you calling from?"

"Home. Mom asked me to pick up some things for Drake and I'm cleaning the

bathroom and I have to clean our room before going back to the hospital."

"I'm coming over."

"No. That's not necessary."

"Ssh, Josh. I'll be there in ten minutes and then we can go to the hospital together."

"Thanks. I love you, Mindy, I'm sorry about our little fight before."

"Don't worry about that. I love you too, Josh."

Josh hung up the phone and went back to his house cleaning, he could easily finish this

before Mindy came over, otherwise, she'd want to help and although that was sweet

and everything he just wanted to do the work himself.

Josh dumped the dirty water from the bucket into the bathtub and turned on the faucet to

help the drain along. He figured it'd be okay to let the mop dry in the tub. There was only

one thing left to do before meeting Mindy to go back to the hospital and that was to

march to their room and get the lavender envelope. Which upon inspection Drake

_STILL_ did not open. Josh had to give his brother some slack there he might have been

on the verge of opening it and that's when he got sick. Infact it looked like there was an

itty-bitty rip on the top left corner of the envelope and that is the spot where most people

open their letters.

"You're his key." Josh said out loud to himself putting the envelope in his backpack with

the other odds and ends for Drake.

Things to make him feel better, because after all he was going to be all right.

The doorbell rang and he could see Mindy's outline through the frosted glass windows

on the double front doors and smiled the first hopeful smile of the night, "Just like Mindy

is mine."

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	19. Look Around You, Drake Part Four

**Chapter 19**

**Look Around You, Drake**

**Part Four**

…**Seven in the morning**

Mindy Crenshaw sat in the back of the Honda and was busy cutting and pasting

information. She and Josh arrived at Sharp Memorial just as the family although still

very much concerned let the burden's of the night drift off their shoulders and Walter

suggested since the staff advised ("he needs his rest.") they wait for the morning

visiting hours at ten o'clock that they go out to the local diner two blocks away to grab

something to eat. Nobody was really hungry though. Mindy nudged Josh to go along

with his parents and Megan because she wanted to look up something, he was

hesitant at first thinking he should stay with her, but he kissed her on the cheek and

told her he'd order her an orange juice.

_Fever_

_your white blood count is very low after chemo _

_Neutropenia_

_Infection_

_Antibiotics_

_When foreign substances (like germs) enter your system, something called _

_cytokines __are released which re-set your body's thermostat._

_Your body's first response is to tighten up or constrict your blood vessels. _

_This reduces the amount of heat lost through your skin and raises your _

_temperature a little._

_Actually, a fever is your body's way of protecting itself. _

_Fevers are good things - in a way. _

_A natural defense mechanism._

_When the infection goes away (with antibiotics), your body no longer needs as _

_much __heat. _

_You may hear the expression, "Your fever is breaking". You _

_begin to sweat, so you have to take off all the extra covers and clothes in _

_order to cool off. Hot - cold._

Mindy felt terrible for Drake. This was quite a lot for anyone to go through she

wondered if she was ever faced with a cancer or some other illness would she be

able to cope as well as he was? Everything was going according to his medical plan

until last night.

Josh told her in the elevator when they took a separate one down than the one his

parents and Megan took.

"Drake was lucky." And that was the only thing he said until they got to the car. The

rest of his communication with his girlfriend came out in tight handholding.

Drake was 'lucky' indeed. Apart from the antibiotics, they might give him some

Tylenol for the fever and body aches and he was hooked up to an IV so he could get

the fluids he needed.

Mindy wiped her eye with her hand. She hoped that she was being a good girlfriend

to Josh. Would a "good girlfriend" be in the car while her worried boyfriend sat in the

diner with his parents and little sister waiting for his sweetheart to join him? She

wanted to email this to Josh (and a copy to herself) so they could put this guide on

_A natural defense mechanism._

_When the infection goes away (with antibiotics), your body no longer needs as _

_much __heat. _

_You may hear the expression, "Your fever is breaking". You _

_begin to sweat, so you have to take off all the extra covers and clothes in _

_order to cool off. Hot - cold._

Mindy felt terrible for Drake. This was quite a lot for anyone to go through she

wondered if she was ever faced with a cancer or some other illness would she be

able to cope as well as he was? Everything was going according to his medical plan

until last night.

Josh told her in the elevator when they took a separate one down than the one his

parents and Megan took.

"Drake was lucky." And that was the only thing he said until they got to the car. The

rest of his communication with his girlfriend came out in tight handholding.

Drake was 'lucky' indeed. Apart from the antibiotics, they might give him some

Tylenol for the fever and body aches and he was hooked up to an IV so he could get

the fluids he needed.

Mindy wiped her eye with her hand. She hoped that she was being a good girlfriend

to Josh. Would a "good girlfriend" be in the car while her worried boyfriend sat in the

diner with his parents and little sister waiting for his sweetheart to join him? She

their refrigerator.

This was scary stuff that she was afraid would send Josh into orbit. Sure, Drake was

fine now and they all should be grateful for that, but there were a whole host of things

that she was sure that Audrey and Walter did not know about. Even if they were smart

and educated people that didn't matter to Mindy. She had to do something to help

Drake, after all, it was due to his help and shoulders that she and Josh even got back

together.

It was one of the nicest things he had ever done for another person, but Mindy never

told Drake that.

Josh couldn't help but come out of the diner and knock on the right passenger side

window.

"Come in," Mindy said, "I'm sorry this is taking so long."

"What are you doing?"

"Emailing you something to give to your parents. It's from Teens Living With Cancer.

Did you know that Drake should avoid sick people? To watch getting cuts and

bruises? And to wash his hands more than normal?"

Josh smiled as he softly lifted her hand up in the air to kiss it.

"What's that for?"

"You _really_ _care _about, Drake, don't you? At first I thought you were just supportive

because we're boyfriend and girlfriend, but you really do care. Thanks."

"You're welcome." She hit send and closed the computer.

"Come on, your orange juice is getting cold."

"Isn't it supposed to be cold?"

"It's an expression."

"I don't think I'll tell your Mom and Dad what I was doing. You can print out the chart

later."

"You're awesome." Josh told her as they walked hand in hand to the diner.

It was bugging the red haired waitress with the poker straight long red hair pulled

back into a ponytail and green eyes about the family that was at table nine in the non-

smoking section. There was something familiar about them, but she couldn't place it.

Finally, that dark haired guys girlfriend came to the table. This was the busy breakfast

rush, the wait staff was told to feed everyone quick and get them out of the diner as

soon as possible.

"Who are those people at table nine, Maggie? They look familiar."

Maggie was one of those stereotypical harried older waitresses who turned more

moody and angry over her life choices that led her to still being a waitress at fifty. She

was the one who had to wait on them and four other tables.

"Cathy, I don't have time for this."

"Sorry." She took some dirty dishes off the counter from the departed truck drivers

that only left a one dollar tip for the combined tip jar and put them in the plastic bin.

"I shouldn't have snapped. That's your crushes family."

What crush? She had several.

"That guy two years behind you at Belleview High."

"Oh, Drake Parker."

She wondered silently how come he wasn't here with his family?

He usually came here with either his brother, sometimes his family, his band, and

sometimes with the skankiest girls that Cathy ever saw when she had to work the

midnight shift. You know the rock and roll hangers on, the ones who wanted to be a

number one groupie.

"I shouldn't say anything, but I overheard the mother talking," Maggie put some paper

orders on the spinning carousel. "I think your 'boyfriend'…"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Are you going to listen? I think he has cancer. He's at Sharp Mem."

What_? He was only seventeen_. Only two years younger than she was.

Cathy Gordon waited tables and was thinking about going to San Diego Mesa

College to study Business. She didn't want to be an older and bitter waitress.

How terrible.

"Don't give them a check. Tell them whatever they order is paid for."

"How noble of you. Now if you excuse me, Cathy. Some of us have to work around

here and not get paid for daydreaming."

Drake Parker has cancer? It explained why he she hadn't seen him here in quite

awhile.

His hospital room was probably filled with cards, gifts, flowers, and notes from all of

his lusting female admirers. Cathy hoped that at least knowing that how much people

cared about him had to be just what he needed to get better.

**Ten o'clock**

Drake's eyes were closed but he was not sleeping. He was scared before, but now

he really was frightened. Like when you are four years old and think that the

Boogeyman is going to get you in your sleep. When he woke up a few years ago he

thought he was in Heaven. Then he thought if he were in Heaven he wouldn't be holed

up in a hospital bed. Would he?

Drake hated being at the mercy of others and having to be poked, prodded, and just

generally fucking bothered. He knew his family was here because he heard them

walking in trying to be quiet and if he didn't hear that, he would have still known by his

mother's perfume which was Avon's soft musk. Even if she didn't spray it on the scent

stayed on her clothes.

"Drake," Audrey moved the hair from his face. "We're here, Sweetie."

"Maybe, we should let him rest?" Walter suggested, although it was good to see him.

Megan knew he was pretending sleep and since she was the one standing by the

end of the bed, she proceeded to tickle his foot from under the covers.

"H-ey."

"I knew you weren't sleeping."

Josh thought that was clever as he and Mindy continued their hand holding odyssey

by the window.

"Drake," Audrey hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, "You gave us quite a

scare last night. Thank God you're okay."

More kisses.

_I still have cancer._

_And I'm in a hospital bed waiting for my white blood count to improve while the _

_hospital makes me their lab rat boy._

Next was Walter's turn, but he just gave him the short hug and shoulder squeeze.

"You'll be home in no time, son."

"I hate to cut this short, but I'm really tired." Well, it was partly true and at least not an

outright lie. He loved his family and was appreciative that they cared about him, but

he still wanted to be alone and hoped that they got that.

"Okay, we'll come back at seven o'clock," Audrey got one more kiss to the forehead

in, he was still a little warm, but not as hot as he was earlier. "Love you."

"Love you too. Megan, come here for a minute."

"What?"

"Will you glue a part of my body to something or pour syrup on me?"

"We'll see." She was surprised at herself for giving him a kiss and a hug.

"How are you feeling, Drake?" Mindy asked holding a bag from Smart Aid

"Just great, Creature."

"Drake!" Josh reprimanded

"Josh, that's what we do. Right, Frankenstein?"

"Here," Mindy handed Drake the small plastic bag, "I'll leave you and Josh to talk for

awhile. See you later, Godzilla."

"Bye Creature from the Black Lagoon."

Josh playfully rolled his eyes. If this pretend bickering back and forth with his girlfriend

gave Drake a spark to keep continuing who was he to judge?

"I won't stay long. Mom asked me to get some stuff for you. Do you want to surf the

net now?"

"No. I really want to sleep."

"Okay, I leave it in the backpack. I'll put your PJ's in the closet. And put your magaz---"

"Josh?"

"Yeah."

"Just do it. Thanks."

"Sorry. I'll bring you your mouthwash when I come back at seven."

"Josh!"

"Yes, Drake?"

"Just do it."

Unbeknownst to either of them when he was busy taking the items for Drake out of

his backpack the lavender envelope from Emme fell on the floor by the window.

"What did Mindy buy you? She wouldn't let me go in the drug store with her after we

ate breakfast."

_Why did the Creature buy me a present?_

"A toothbrush." And it was the soft nylon bristle kind that he needed too.

Drake put the toothbrush back in the Smart-Aid bag on the end table and tried to

stretch out his legs. He hated having to be hooked up to an IV.

If he was getting better from the infection maybe they'd remove it today?

"That was nice of her. Well, I know you want to sleep, bro."

"What gave you your first clue?"

He knew he had a terrible bedside manner at times, but he couldn't help it.

"Sorry, Drake. You know that I love you."

"I know." Drake replied before starting to fall asleep.

Josh made sure he was tucked in. He couldn't help being overprotective and maybe

a general nuisance. He loved that guy.

"Sleep well, brother, sleep well." Josh kissed him on the cheek before leaving the

room.

"Thank God! I thought he'd _never_ leave." Drake said with closed eyes in the empty

room finally able to fall asleep now that the 'mean man' was gone.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_

_Information from teenslivingwithcancer dot org_


	20. Look Around You Drake, Part Five

**Chapter 20**

**Look Around You, Drake**

**Part Five**

…**Seven in the evening**

Josh asked his parents if he could visit Drake first so they could talk in private. Since

his brother wasn't in any life threatening danger they said they would take Megan to the

coffee shop and maybe buy Drake some puzzle books in the gift shop after Audrey did

one of her favorite things to look at the newborn babies on the fourth floor. She always

hoped that her and Walter could have a baby together but so far there was only one

false alarm a year ago that the kids didn't have to know about.

Josh breezed in the room to see Drake sitting up in bed watching Who Wants to be a 

Millionaire? with the sound off.

"Hey, brother! I found something behind your pillows when I was changing your bed

sheets," Josh pulled the Drake's knit cap from his backpack, "Ta da!"

"Thanks," Drake put his hat on and instantly felt better about his looks, "I found

something too."

"Really. What?"

"This." Drake reached from the under the covers and pulled out Emme's lavender

envelope.

"How long ago did you have that?"

"Since eleven thirty when Nurse Debbie came in and found it on the floor."

"And you _STILL_ haven't opened it yet, Drake? You know before your little set back, I

was going to give you what-for regarding this."

"Josh, this is none of your damn business. And it wasn't a 'little' set back."

"I'm sorry, Drake, I didn't mean it that way. I mean you started to open it, I noticed the

corner."

"No, I didn't start to open it. It accidentally got caught on my old watch that I keep in—

wait. Why am I explaining things to you? How many times do I have to tell you this is

none of your business?"

"I was going to call Emme or her mother last night, but I didn't, because I thought you

should make that call yourself. You're feeling better if you can pester me like this, so

why don't you pick up the phone? If you can't use the hospital phone, you can borrow my

cell."

"NO!"

"Drake…"

"Josh, I really can't believe you. A part of me should be happy that you care about my

happiness, but the part of me that is too weak right now really just wants to kick your

ass."

"Fine," Josh started to walk out of the room, "No, this ends right now!" Josh went over to

the TV that was on a stand and turned it off, and even though the sound wasn't on, he

still didn't want Drake to distracted by anything.

"I don't want to hear a lecture from you."

"I'm not going to lecture you. I'm going to tell you to look around you, Drake. Look the

hell around you. Hmm, that seems like a nice balloon bouquet. Who did it come from?

Oh, Dad's bosses and friends the KDJY family. A huge tabletop card and some free

movie passes. Gee and even though she really likes you could this be from my boss

Helen? And look a simple Get Well card that has the Crenshaw family stamped all over

it. DO YOU NOT GET IT, DRAKE? If you don't here's a psychic flash I'm having

tomorrow you'll probably be getting something from the guy you call Clipboard Ted and

the rest of the gang from the support group. It's not like you were diagnosed yesterday.

So, where are the cards from Cynthia, Michelle, Lucy, Leticia, Stacey, and what about

the girls whose names you don't remember but still share lip spit and god knows what

else with? Where are your little black book girls now, Drake?"

"Shut up."

"I know I'm striking a nerve and I'm sorry for that, but in a way, I'm really not sorry,

_because you deserve better_. Emme said and did some bad things to you and the rest

of the group. But you should know better than anyone else Drake that she's frightened. I

bet if she knew you were here, unless, she's not having a good day, she'd be here."

"Are you done?"

"I guess I am." Josh watched Drake put the card on the end table next to his water cup

and that's when Josh realized that he wasn't exactly quite done yet.

"I'm not done, bro." Josh snatched the card

"You wouldn't?"

"I would."

"I'm in bed, hooked up to an IV, you son of a bitch!" By the time it would have taken to

get up and walk around pushing a clunky IV machine Josh would be halfway to

Cleveland. He just rested his head back against the stiff pillows.

"I'm not sorry about this." Josh stood by the door as he opened the envelope with his

fingers, slightly wincing when he got a paper cut on his left index finger. "OUCH!"

"Good! I hate you."

_No, I don't. I just hate what you are doing to me._

"I'll give you a chance to take this out of my hands and I'll leave the room so you can

read the card. And I was right there is a note inside."

"No. You wanted the letter open so bad you read it. You know what you did is a federal

offense."

"Give me a break. You don't care about that."

"You just can't stick your nose out of my business can you? Even when I ask you nicely.

You wanted the letter open so bad as I said you read it. I don't want to see it."

_Why are you being such an asshole?_

"Okay, I will read it."

**"Dear Drake,**

**I'm sending everyone from the support group this card. But I wanted yours to **

**be ****special…"**

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Damn it. No one thought to bring his Walkman.

"Because you leave me with no choice, bro. Where did I leave off? Oh yeah, I** wanted **

**yours to be special. See enclosed note. Warm Regards, Emme.** Does she sound

like a monster to you?"

"Give me the card and the note."

"Why? What are you going to do with it?"

"Josh, you have five seconds before I push the nurse call button."

"They won't show up for a half hour."

"That's only on poorly written TV shows."

"Okay, I will. But you have to promise me that you will read everything."

"I don't have to promise you shit."

Josh saw the get-out-of-here-you-should-be-lucky-there-are-no-needles-to-jab-you-with

look that was shooting out of Drake's eyes.

Why was he considered the bad guy in this? Emme was rude from day one and

although he saw her collapse in her mother's arms it didn't erase everything. Not to

mention the lying she did to her mother about how she got along with everybody there

when she alienated the whole group. This was supposed to make it right?

Josh didn't know what possessed him maybe he had an attachment problem, but he

couldn't help sticking his head through the door,

"Let's remember that not only did you try to visit her, you fished that card out of the

garbage and agonized over opening it."

Josh closed the door before he was hit with the flying crumbled piece of pink paper that

was Emme's letter.

Drake upset his stomach so badly that he needed to throw up. He was never going to

make it into the bathroom in time having to get out of bed being hooked up to an IV.

Drake was never so happy to see his mother walk in and how he didn't have to say a

word she just sensed he needed the trashcan that he couldn't reach.

Megan turned her head, she was certain Drake hated them having to see this.

"There, honey. It's okay," Audrey handed the trashcan to Walter so he could empty the

contents in the bathtub. Audrey knew housekeeping would have done it, but she didn't

know their schedules and didn't want Drake to be bothered by the odor.

"Megan, pour your brother some water."

"I'm hooked up to an IV."

"Drake." Audrey said in her firm mother-knows-best voice

Drake didn't argue.

"Look at this garbage on the floor." Walter said picking up the paper ball.

"No! It's mine. I want it."

_I want it._

_So help me. I want it._

"Okay." Walter handed him the paper.

"Would I be a totally bad son if I asked to be alone for a few minutes please?"

_I mean, I really apprecia---you guys know, right?_

"It's no problem, son." Audrey said, Walter just nodded, but Megan gave him the look of

death, which actually in a strange kind of way made him feel a thousand times better.

This had to be based on whatever he and Josh were talking more like fighting about

before they came in.

Damn it.

He hated Josh for being _Right._

_Damn you for being right, Josh._

Drake finished his water and took a deep breath before unfolding the wrinkled letter

and straightening it out on his chest.

**Dear Drake (Don Juanoma),**

**I'm sorry. If you only knew how many doors I've been closing since my **

**diagnosis then maybe you'd understand why. I didn't want to close the door **

**on you or anyone else. _But especially you._ I lied to my mother about how I **

**acted in the support group because I didn't want to disappoint her. But I doubt **

**you'd want to hear about that. I don't think I'll be coming back since I made a **

**huge mess there. But, I hope you'll call me as soon as you open this so we can **

**talk. I wouldn't blame you if you threw this letter in the garbage and never read **

**it, but I hope you don't.**

**I sometimes cry at night, and I can hear your hurt voice telling my mother and I **

**that you would have been a real friend.**

**Is there still time?**

**Warm Regards,**

**Your friend (or at least I hope you'll let me be your friend)**

**Emme Jessica Watson (Miss Priss)**

Drake folded the note and put it in the card. It was one of those non-verse cards, which

made him wonder why she enclosed the separate note? The front was a picture of

a painted waterfall with doves flying in a tranquil blue sky. He put the card back in the

envelope and put it on his table. Drake let out a big sigh knowing that his family would

probably be coming back in five minutes or so to have a visit with him and that was

okay by him.

"Yes," he picked up the envelope again and put it to his nose and he could still smell the

lavender. It was nice and soothing.

He felt like a fool for taking an eternity to open what was a wonderful heartfelt

letter from a girl who just needed someone to show her that things could get better

if she let someone in.

"There's still time."

_Emme, I would love to be your friend._


	21. Reach Out and Slap Somebody's Hand

**Chapter 21**

**Reach Out and Slap Somebody's Hand**

…**One day after Drake is released from the hospital**

It was delightfully strange Drake thought to himself as he stirred his homemade (by

Josh) strawberry and peach smoothie with the orange, pink, and purple striped

extra large bendy straw. He was alone in the kitchen. Mom was at her office still in

her part-time capacity, Megan was at school, Dad was at KDJY, and Josh who had

no school due to it being an in-service day, just left him alone. In fact, Josh hadn't

poked his nose into Drake's private personal matters since their heated discussion

in his hospital room a week ago over Emme's card. While Drake was grateful for

the quiet, he didn't want Josh to feel he had to walk on eggshells either. This was

his house too.

He didn't mean to let the situation linger in the air like someone in a crowded

elevator wearing a lingering overpowering scent.

Drake Parker did not know what to do. There was a support group meeting coming

up and Drake didn't know how to handle it. Emme wasn't going to attend unless all

was right. He should've picked up the phone by now and mentioned he read what

she had to say. There was still time. Drake meant it. He just didn't know how to go

about it. So, why wasn't Josh in here giving him advice on what to do next? Yes,

how odd that Drake Parker had to ask Josh Nichols for from the heart advice. It was

Drake not Josh who knew more about the opposite sex than a young boy should.

What would Josh do?

Drake took the straw out of the tall wavy glass and licked the cream off.

Josh would probably have called Emme right after reading the letter. Drake knew

the Watson's were in the book because that's where he found their house address,

but Drake wasn't Josh and he'd rather show up at her house again then risk a

phone call.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Drake. I promised Mom I'd take the clothes out of the

dryer."

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"One you aren't disturbing me and two why are you walking on egg shells?"

"You made it clear that you want me to stay out of your business. So I'm just giving

you what you wanted."

_Even when he's trying not to annoy me, he still annoys me._

"This _isn't _what I wanted. But, while you are standing there you can get me the phone

book."

Drake couldn't believe that Josh proceeded to give him the directory and walk to

the laundry room without a word.

"Hey!"

"What do you want, Drake?"

"Aren't you going to say something?"

"I know it's not my place."

"Just shut up, Josh. And by shutting up, I mean talk to me."

"I don't want to upset you."

"Too late for that." Drake finished his smoothie. Josh was indeed a mix of

endearing and annoying, but he was good in the kitchen.

"Okay," Josh pulled out a chair, "Are you going to call Emme?"

"I wasn't going to. I was and I hate asking you this—I was going to ask

you to give me a ride to her house. But I'd hate to go there for nothing."

"I'd call first."

Drake made a clicking noise with his tongue.

"I knew you would."

"How about I call?"

"Josh, I don't need you to make phone calls for me."

"No, Drake, you misunderstood. How about I call and see if Emme wants to see

you? I'll say you're sleeping."

"No. I'll call."

"Okay." Josh folded his hands out of nervousness.

"Josh…"

"Yes, Drake?"

"This is the part where you are supposed to say, 'See you in a bit' and scamper off

to get the clothes out of the dryer."

Josh stood up and gave Drake a nervous smile, "Good luck then."

Drake stood up and placed the phone book on the counter and went to grab the

phone.

Why did this feel like the hardest phone call he ever had to make? Drake Parker

never had any trouble talking to girls until this one entered his life.

"Okay, Parker," Drake got one last big sigh out of the way, "Just

dial the phone."

Five rings and Drake was almost ready to play the hang-up-before-someone-

actually-answers game.

What was this the fifth grade?

"Hello?" It was Emme's mother.

"Hello, Mrs. Watson. Is Emme there? It's Drake Parker."

"I'll see if she's sleeping…"

"You might want to tell her I received the card."

"Okay. Hold on, Sweetie."

Musak? The Watson's certainly had money to waste Drake thought, but

at least it was a happy but unfamiliar tune.

Mrs. Watson knocked on Emme's door before opening it. Her daughter was laying

on her side her arms snuggling with her pillows.

"Honey," She tapped her shoulder, "Are you awake?"

"I'm trying to sleep, Mother."

"Drake Parker is on the phone. And he wants you to know he received your card."

"I see."

Emme didn't wait for her mother to connect them. She had a phone in her room and

clicked on the flashing orange light to indicate there was a call on line number three.

"Hello, Drake."

Drake couldn't believe how nervous he was.

"Hi, Emme."

"You have some nerve. Do you know how long ago I sent you that card? And you're

just calling me now? Get bent."

"Emme Jessica Watson!" Her mother didn't mean to eavesdrop she just wanted to

make sure they were connected. She heard the 'click' after her daughter's rant.

Drake obviously hung up.

"I want to go to sleep, Mommy."

Emme hung up trying to not cry over this guy anymore. He had enough of her tears.

Drake slammed the phone book closed just in time for Josh to come in carrying the

white plastic laundry basket.

"It didn't go well?"

"Great observation, Josh. She said I have some nerve for waiting this long to get

back in touch with her. This is the girl you stuck up for? This is the person that you

said was frightened and needed my help? Every time, I say I'm done with her, I get

pulled back in.

You know what? I have cancer too. I know I waited a long time and you felt

compelled to open the envelope and I suppose it doesn't count that I was in the

hospital. Does she give me a fucking chance to explain? No. You know, say what

you will, brother. Butat least when I was with some of those girls you named off at

the hospital, I was shown a good time. Am I supposed to learn something? Am I

supposed to be the better one?

Well you know what? Screw that. I had my smoothie and I'm going to bed. I wish I

never took her card out of the garbage. It should've stayed there where it belonged."

Drake pushed open the swinging kitchen door with the most strength Josh had seen

him use in a long time and went to take a nap on the living room sofa. Josh was

about to follow him, but he saw his brother exhibit too much restless emotional

energy and only stayed on the sofa for about thirty seconds before kicking off the

blanket and storming upstairs to their room.

Josh looked at the phone and then the phone book. He was going to do battle with

the angel and devil on each shoulder. The plans to go into a self-debate were

making the wheels in his brain turn, but then he figured to stop thinking and in

Drake's words "just do it".

He put the laundry basket on the kitchen table and went to open up the phone book

and hoped that he wasn't making a mistake. He'd hate to sleep in a locked closet

again.

"Hello, Drake. First let me apologize for my daughter---"

"Mrs. Watson, this isn't Drake. I'm his brother Josh. I'm calling you

to try and make things right between Emme and Drake, but I don't know what to do.

Except to tell you that my brother was just released from a short hospital stay. He

had an infection and that's partly why he didn't respond to the card. The other

reason is he was stubborn and didn't open the envelope—so I had to. But he fished

it out of the garbage earlier and if only Emme knew that…." Josh decided to trail off

his words; he wanted to give Mrs. Watson a chance to respond.

The both of them heard a little click.

"I think she already knows. I appreciate your call, Josh. Drake is very

lucky to have a brother like you. Give him my best. There is something I need to take

care of."

"Thank you, Mrs. Watson."

Josh decided it was best to not tell Drake that he called Emme's mother. It would

only get him upset and he was angry enough already today. He hoped he didn't

cross a privacy line. He really wanted to do better by Drake and all Josh wanted

was his brother to be happy.

Mrs. Watson didn't know what to expect when she opened up Emme's door. She

wasn't in her bed or the bathroom. Then she noticed the white wooden French

balcony doors were open. There was a slight breeze and her daughter wasn't

wearing her robe.

She grabbed her yellow cotton robe off the bed.

Emme held on to the railing, her tears sticking to her face.

"M-Mother," She felt her robe being put over her shoulders, "I-I….don't need a

lecture."

The girl was stiff as the proverbial board. She needed a hug in the worst way and it

wasn't a mother's embrace that she required.

"No, you don't. How many times can you push Drake away without giving him a

chance? Now come on, let's put you to bed."

"He's never going to want to talk to me ever again." Emme let her mother tuck her in

bed. She wanted to be babied.

"And if that happens while its unfortunate maybe it's a lesson that you needed to

learn."

"M-mother…lecturing…"

"Sorry," she fixed her covers and kissed her on the cheek, "I know it's hard but get

some sleep. There's time to focus on you and Drake." Mrs. Watson hoped.

Emme did what she always did when her mother left the room and that was to cry

herself to sleep over her own stupidity.

Drake pounded his pillows as sulked in his bed. He totally hated the fact that he was

crying over this. The tears were automatic and steady. He emotionally felt like shit.

He didn't make any whining noises it was just a steady stream of tears.

_Maybe, I am repulsive?_

_Stop it. _

_You're Drake Parker._

_Emme Jessica Watson, do you even know what you want?_

_Stop pulling me back in._

_I.Don't.Want.To.Be.Pulled.Back.In._

_But, I dream about you sometimes and it feels right._

_Why won't you give me a chance?_

Drake heard the door open and there was no way he wanted to deal with Josh so

he made sure his back was facing him and hoped he could fake him out by

pretending to be asleep while his heart broke in a million more pieces.

All because of a girl who wouldn't stop running away and just how long

was Drake supposed to wait?

_How long am I supposed to even care?_

_Your time is running out, Miss Priss, your time is running out._


	22. The Tide is High

**Chapter 22**

**The Tide is High**

…**the day of the next Teen Cancer Support Group Meeting**

Drake hoped that there wouldn't be a _big deal_ made over his time in the hospital. He

did get a humorous card that was signed by Clipboard Ted and everyone in the support

group. Well, not exactly everyone. Drake just wanted to blend in today. He decided

grabbed a bottle of fruit punch from the small open cooler that was on the table.

"Hi, Drake." It was Amy who always wore a California Angels baseball cap.

"Hi, Amy."

"I was sorry to about your hospital stay." She was debating on whether or not to have a

cup of tea or a bottle of juice.

_Here it comes_

"As you can see I'm okay." Drake hoped that wasn't rude, but he couldn't take an hour

of this. He was only going to allow Herbie ask questions, because like Josh he just

couldn't help it and that kid had more problems than all of them here combined.

"I'll see you later. I have to use the little girls room." She put down the bottle of apple

juice that she was going take. Drake hoped he didn't say anything wrong, god his track

record with females was really starting to suck lately.

"How are you, Drake?" was what he heard ten minutes later when Clipboard Ted sat

next to him.

"I'll be fine if people stop asking me how I am. Where's Herbie? He's usually here by

now."

It was just like when kids die in plane crashes or by the hands of the parents that are

supposed to love them it would be one of the most unfair things in the world ever if he

didn't make it.

"He started another chemo session yesterday."

"Oh. Thanks for the card." Drake added. He really was thankful; he just hated being

bombarded about questions about his health.

He was here, wasn't he?

Clipboard Ted didn't lecture him, but Drake wondered if that was because of his cell

phone ringing and him darting off to his office for privacy?

_Whatever. _

_At least I'm not being bothered._

Drake went from wondering about people questioning him about his recent hospital

stay to looking at his watch and noticing this circle session should have started about

five minutes ago.

"Do you think something happened to Herbie?" asked the shy James

who was bald and proud to the whole group.

"Our friend Herbie is doing well," Clipboard Ted entered the room, "I'm sorry that we are

running a little late, but I'm hoping that _everyone _here will be understanding regarding

what I am about to say."

_Why did he look straight at me when he said that?_

Drake almost dropped the plastic bottle of juice when he saw Emme in the doorway.

Her eyes were downcast and she was shaking while holding a blue envelope.

"That phone call was from Mrs. Watson," Clipboard Ted stood up to help Emme keep

from falling, "It seems that Emme wants to say something to the group."

"Can I stand here?" Her voice was almost non-existent. She couldn't sit in the circle.

Emme would have to look Drake in the eyes if she did that and it was difficult enough

just to do this. She almost puked twice from just general nervousness.

Drake didn't care.

_I don't care._

_I don't care._

_And I'm not going to look at you._

_I don't care._

_I don't care._

_Damn it._

_I looked._

Emme's hands shook as she opened the flap of the envelope to take out a piece of

paper. Her eyes were all red and puffy from crying in the car while her mother politely

nudged her to "not be afraid" and that "there weren't any guarantees in life".

"I know my apology cards were not enough for most of the group. But I meant every

word. I know I don't belong here, so I'll keep this short and then I'll be back at home

waiting to die from my cancer. I really am sorry. I pushed everyone away in my life. Who

wants to be friends with a sixteen-year-old 'poor' little rich girl who had to get a

hysterectomy_? But, I know I've hurt people, especially one person in particular._ For

that I'm really, really sorry," She dropped the paper to the floor, "I can't do this."

She wasn't looking for anyone to chase after her. Emme Jessica Watson was just

relived to feel the air on her face when she got outside.

The planning of this idea was easier than having to go through with it. She just couldn't

do anymore. If that made her a coward in life than so be it.

The car door was locked. What in the Hell? She just wanted her mother, although not

the speediest driver, to get her the Hell out of Dodge.

"So, that's it? You're just going to run then?"

Emme tried to will herself through the steel and be a part of the Lexus. All she could

humanely do was put her head on the window.

"I want my Mom." Emme whispered

"I'm all you got." Mrs. Watson was waiting for her daughter in Clipboard Ted's office

and she nodded her head 'okay' when Drake got to the outside door before she did.

"I said I was sorry."

"There's a difference between saying sorry and meaning that you are sorry." Drake bit

his lip; he was starting to sound like Josh.

Emme turned around, "I meant it. I can't go back in there. They will eat me alive."

"No one is going to eat you alive."

"Do you hate me?"

"No, I don't hate you."

Drake extended his hand and felt the vibrations of a thousand angels clapping when

Emme Jessica Watson _finally _accepted it.

"I'm holding your hand, Don Juanoma." Emme acknowledged

in a matter-of-fact way as they walked back into the Community Center.

This was going to take awhile, but she knew she could make it as long

as Drake Parker was by her side.

"Yes, you are, Miss Priss. And I'm not letting go."

Drake wished she wouldn't wear such a tight headscarf she shouldn't be ashamed

of anything.

It was _only_ cancer.

It was a small notice. Maybe it was one of those take it one-at-a-time advisory steps

that Drake heard constantly while Josh was watching Oprah when he was trying to

sleep.

But they both were aware of that moment when Emme Jessica Watson actually tried

to smile today.


	23. Coffee, Conversation, and Cars

**Chapter 23**

**Coffee, Conversation, and Cars**

…**after the meeting**

The Crown Room at the Hotel Del Coronado was a majestic darkly lit dining area in

the stylish and historic hotel with the pointy red roofs that was a tourist "right by the

ocean" delight. The ceiling was a bold basket weave design in rich multi textured

woods decorated with a small lighted crown on the center point. The last time

Emme Jessica Watson was here having tea was when her mother and her were

discussing her "coming out" party almost a whole year ago. The debutante dreams

were forgotten like a penny in the sand. It was just supposed a routine exam at the

OB-GYN and that was when E.J. Watson stopped living and breathing. She stirred

her tea in a gentle motion getting hypnotized by the swirls she was making. Why

was her mother taking her here now? She used to love this place and how they

came here to unwind after their shopping trips to the Hermes, Chanel, and Vuitton

boutiques. They were probably the warmest richest people as Mom was never on

any social circle-climbing ladder with the exception of the Women's Auxiliary. Which

Emme found out Beverly Watson only joined in 1986, the year she was conceived. It

was the organization that sponsored the San Diego debutante events.

"Honey," Mrs. Watson spoke softly, "You should drink your tea before it gets cold."

"Oh."

"You have been very quiet since the meeting. I mean quiet in a good way. Is there

anything you want to talk about?"

"Clip—I mean Mr. Smithers said I could attend the meetings again if I want to."

"Do you want to?" Mrs. Watson peeled off one sugar packet to put in her coffee.

Their croissants should have been on the table by now. She let Emme order her

favorite kind with the chocolate chips. It just seemed like a reason to celebrate.

"Yes, Mom." She went back to her hypnotic swirl stirring.

"That Drake Parker is a nice boy."

"_Mother_."

"What?"

Emme tapped the silver spoon on the edge of her cup and rested it daintily on the

saucer.

"I guess."

"Dear, you shouldn't keep it all inside. You made some important steps today and

not just with your friendship with Drake, but with the support group in general. Still

though he's a cutie, isn't he?"

"Mother! You're _embarrassing_ me."

"No one else is listening."

"If I agree that he's cute will you let me eat my croissant in peace?"

Her mother smiled as the waiter picked the right time to bring their pastries to the

table.

"Of course, Emme."

Her daughter's dark cloud attitude was starting to lift and Mrs. Watson was sure

there'd be days of regression, but hopefully the light would win out over the darkness

and she had Drake Parker to thank for that.

Drake couldn't stand how Josh drove. He was one of those "Joe Safety's" who

would make sure not to turn until every car was out of sight, who would let people out

of side streets instead of just driving right along, and who actually read the driver's

manual to brush up on his driving skills.

Normally, Drake would have had a pithy comment saved for just this very occasion

but right now he could care less.

"What's with you, bro?"

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't tell me to get a move on when I let told waved to those five cars from the

Burger King ahead."

"Josh, I don't think I need to keep repeating that you drive like a dork."

"At least it didn't take me seven tries to get my driver's licsence."

"_Six_." Drake replied boldly.

_Should I tell him?_

_No. _

_Maybe, I'll tell him later, but for now I'd like to be alone with my thoughts._

_Her hand needed holding._

"Should I call?"

_Shit._

_Did I just say that out loud?  
_

_Nice going._

"Call who?"

_And didn't I tell him he didn't have to walk on eggshells and by leaving me alone I _

_mean talk to me?_

_Can't I be a hypocrite?_

"I want a Sprite." Drake pointed to the McDonald's up ahead hoping he got away

with changing the subject as well.

"But I have to get home to get showered and changed before work—aww jeez!

Okay, I'll do it. I could go for a Coke."

Not as good amongst the young people of San Diego as the indie brand Mocha

Cola, but Josh wouldn't begrudge his brother a Sprite.

"Oh, Drake." Josh said upon exiting the car leaving Drake to ponder why didn't he

just use the drive through window?

"Yeah?" He wanted to sit back and relax with his eyes closed for a few minutes.

"I'd call her." Josh closed the door and walked inside the restaurant leaving Drake

alone with his thoughts.

_Oh don't worry, brother, I have every intention of calling Emme Jessica Watson _

_and hopefully she won't hang up on me this time._

_Hopefully this time will be different._


	24. A Slight Tear

**Chapter 24**

**A Slight Tear**

…**a Saturday afternoon**

It wasn't going to be a good day make that afternoon Drake thought to himself noticing

the clock read 12:30pm. He could've sworn he just put his head down for only ten

minutes after being barely able to keep a dry piece of toast down. He only wanted to

take a ten-minute nap on the sofa in his bedroom. When he smoothed his hands down

his legs he noticed a slight tear in his favorite faded jeans and not the cool jagged rock

star rips that looked good as a nod to anti-authority on stage, but a tear that didn't

belong there. Or maybe he was becoming the nitpicking sort.

_Like Josh._

_Kill me._

_Just kill me._

Cancer just didn't want to take your body. It wanted to take your soul. Not that Drake

was about to give up.

He's spent the better part of a week coming off a chemotherapy session trying to figure

really figure Emme Jessica Watson out. Taking Algebra II twice and being tutored by

Josh to pass his final exam was easier to decipher than this _one_ woman.

They didn't talk much on the phone. She was always worried about her mother. Drake

didn't buy that. He's seen enough of Emme being backed into a corner whether it was

him uncovering her lies in front of Mrs. Watson or Emme wanting to apologize to

himself and the rest of support group in person. When she was tied to the train tracks

with no hope in sight she would shake, lose her stoic composure, and couldn't look him

or anyone else in the eyes.

Drake was sucking the salt off a pretzel rod that Josh or someone else put on the table

by the sofa. He wasn't going to throw up today. No way. Drake pulled himself up into a

sitting position.

"Yo, Boob!" Megan opened the door

"I hope that greeting is for Josh."

She supposed she should've thought that what if Drake was in the room sleeping

before barging in. But didn't he want to be treated by Megan like it was a normal day in

the neighborhood?

"It is. Have you seen him?"

"Not since this morning. He's working this afternoon."

"He owes me twenty bucks."

"You gave Josh twenty dollars. Why?"

"Because he spent all of his weekly money before his next paycheck. Something about

being in the doghouse with Mindy."

_So, Mindy Crenshaw is worth only twenty dollars?_

_Ha ha ha ha_

_And Josh usually hides money like a squirrel hides nuts._

_Maybe, he's saving to buy an engagement ring to Oprah._

"Thanks for the laugh, Megan."

"No problem. By the way did you know that girl is here?"

"What girl?"

"The girl you like…"

"Emme is _here?_"

"Well, she thinks nobody saw her go back to hide in her Mom's car. But I did. Mrs.

Watson is here to visit Mom."

Drake didn't even wait for Megan to leave the room before he jumped off the sofa.

Shirt. He needed to get out of his old orange t-shirt that said Tijuana on it in big letters

and put a better shirt on.

Megan didn't comment that it was good to see Drake like this. She just smiled on the

inside and closed the door behind her.

When Drake came downstairs he was concerned that he didn't see anyone anywhere.

_Damn you for pulling a prank Megan_

_But isn't that what I told her to do?  
_

_Yes, I am a hypocrite._

He settled on his black button down shirt with the pink stripes.

Drake's heart slowed down when he saw Mrs. Watson and his mother come through

the front door. Audrey must have shown Beverly her prized yellow California poppies,

which was also the state flower. He hoped they would sit down for a long talk over

Suisse Mocha and celebrate the moments of their lives because this young man had

things to do. Drake quietly grabbed two bottles of fruit punch out of the refrigerator and

slipped out of the kitchen and walked to the garage with the confidence that he always

had.

There was the Lexus with semi-tinted windows parked in the garage. Which made him

wonder where in the Hell was his vintage Pontiac Ventura? Did Josh take _his _car

without asking? He was so going to give it to his brother later. Right now he had to stay

focused on the matter at hand. Drake put the juice bottles on the shelf where Walter

kept some of his Craftsman tools and walked over to the Lexus deciding to knock on

the window. He heard the doors lock before the window opened half way.

_Why did she lock the door?_

"Hi, Emme."

"Hi, Drake."

"Would you like company in there?"

_Shit. That sounds like a line_.

"That's what's next, isn't it, Don Juanoma?"

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

"I don't know what _you _mean."

Drake turned to get Emme a bottle of juice. Was this what they were meant for to bicker

back and forth like stale married couples that won't divorce?

He tried to hand her a bottle of juice, but she slapped it out of his hands. Drake couldn't

catch it in time so he watched it roll under the car.

"That was rude, Miss Priss. What happened to that day at the group meeting? I don't

know what to think or do regarding you anymore." Drake needed a drink himself and

went to get his bottle off the shelf. Why was she doing this? He could see her slouching

down in the brown leather seat trying to be invisible. It was probably killing the young girl

that she couldn't just evaporate into the thin air.

"Mmm, I bet you really are thirsty. That's too bad. Your bottle seems to be under your

car," Drake took a drink.

He _didn't _want to taunt her. He _didn't_ want to be mean to her.

This _was not_ what Drake Parker wanted.

"I'm trying to figure out which one is the phony? This arrogant and rude persona or the

one that cries for and begs everyone _ESPECIALLY ME _for forgiveness."

"I'll see you at the next meeting, Drake."

"Nope. _That is not good enough_," Drake finished the contents of the juice bottle and put

the cap back on, "I'm going to call your bluff! Right here. Right now."

Drake threw the bottle in the recycle bin and headed back over to the Lexus feeling like

he was living someone else's life.

Because it was never this difficult for him to "get the girl" ever.

"Go a-way."

"Tears come next, right Emme?"

"You are a---"

"Do you want to go out to a movie next week?"

"I'd have to ask my Mother." That came out in only the smallest of whispers like she

didn't want to be caught admitting such a thing out loud.

"I'm supposed to believe that you will? Hmm, but wait a minute, isn't your Mother in the

kitchen with my Mother talking about beauty products, men not picking up after

themselves, or their cancer ridden children? I'll ask your Mother right now."

"Drake, no!"

Why was he doing this to her?

"Where did the timid voice go?" Drake walked away, smiling to himself as she tried to

open the car door, but she forgot locking them to keep bad boy Don Juanoma out.

"you're impossible!"

Both Moms were sitting at the kitchen table, but not over coffee. Audrey just had to

break out her fancy English tea that she ordered from a catalogue.

"Hello, Mrs. Watson." Drake said

He could see Emme doing her famous standing just outside the doorway pose.

"Hi, Drake. How are you?"

"Peachy. I was having a _lovely _chat with Emme and I was wondering if you wouldn't

mind if we went out to the movies sometime? My brother works at the Premiere."

"Not at all." Mrs. Watson said, it would do her daughter good to go out on a date and

get out of the house for a few hours to a place that wasn't a hospital, clinic, or a cancer

support group.

Emme spun around and tried to run back to the safety of being inside a locked car

without anyone noticing, but she didn't count on Drake making a hasty exit himself just

to grab her arm in the process.

"Why are you _still _running away from me?"

He made sure to let go.

Emme didn't answer him she opened the front door of the car to turn off the ignition.

"I am _not _one of those girls." Emme rested her head on the glass again.

"What girls?"

"The girls you date and then dump. I'm NOT that. And I'm also _not _your cancer charity

case."

"Wow, you can really jump to conclusions more than anyone else I have ever seen. Your

headscarf is definitely wrapped too tight around your brain!"

She turned around and wished that he didn't have such beautiful eyes and or looked so

Abercrombie catalogue ready cute in his knit cap.

"I'm just telling you like it is."

"Do you want to go to the movies with me? Yes or no? You can't use your mother as an

excuse."

"I—I don't know. I need to think about it. Or am I on a time limit?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Emme."

"Ridiculous that I need to think about dating you or my question?"

"Honestly, both."

_You held onto my hand for dear life._

_And I'm supposed to think it meant nothing?_

"Well, you are going to have to deal with someone having to think about it."

"Hi, kids."

Saved by the mother.

"Hi, Mom. I took your keys out of your purse when you were talking to Mrs. Nichols it

was too hot in the house. So I opted to sit in the car."

"It's okay, Sweetie. Bye, Drake. It looks like we'll be seeing you soon."

"Bye, Mrs. Watson. Bye, Emme." Drake waved goodbye.

He could play polite too.

When her mother was safely not paying attention Emme Jessica Watson ended her

afternoon with Drake by sticking out her tongue at him.

_Was that a yes?_

When the Lexus was gone the unopened bottle of fruit punch that Emme slapped away

rolled back to his feet. She was indeed a scared girl and Drake guessed that it was

only partly because of her cancer.

He bent down to pick it up. It wasn't squished and nothing leaked out so it could go

back into the refrigerator.

Drake was perfect mix of yin and yang. It wasn't going to keep going on like this not if

he had anything to say about it.

He remembered his cell phone was in the back pocket of these jeans and dialed a

number from his hot list.

"Voice mail? What can you be doing in your room that is so important? Meet me in the

garage."

_Today is the last day you run away from me, Emme Jessica, Miss Priss, E.J. _

_whatever name you want to go by Watson.  
_

_Today is the last day that you run away from me._

"Alright, Boob! What do you need that is _so_ important?"

Wow. Megan came down the stairs and into the garage in less than three minutes flat.

Drake was impressed.

He supposed there was a benefit to having cancer after all.

"Megan, I need you to do me a really big favor…"


	25. Cusps

**Chapter 25**

**Cusps**

…**a week later**

If Drake didn't answer the phone and talk to Emme's mother himself, he would have

thought that he was being lied to _again._ But Mrs. Watson would not lie especially about

her daughter having a slight non-fever cold so could they postpone their movie date? Of

course, Drake wasn't going to be angry he wasn't void of feelings. And he knew how

dangerous it could be if her cold turned into a fever. He almost fucking died that night.

But Mrs. Watson said it was okay for Emme to have visitors and maybe a surprise visit

would mask the disappointment that they couldn't go to the Premiere.

Emme could not believe the gall of her mother.

How could she think to even call Drake without notifying her about it and to top it off he

was on his way upstairs.

Why was it that her mother didn't care about her feelings?

She was just done with the clipping of the white gold scarf pin. This one was in the

shape of a flower after she wrapped the deep amethyst colored Hermes silk scarf as

tight as she could stand it.

Emme didn't have time to breathe as Drake knocked on her door two seconds later.

That was too close for her comfort.

"Come in." she stayed seated at her desk. It was easier than to get up.

Emme could feel her throat turn into the Sahara, but she knew she had to start really

talking to Drake and she could do so right from the safety of her perfect little white

wicker desk.

Drake didn't know what he was walking into so he just reduced it all to one word, "Hey."

"Hi." She put her hand on the handle of her Mason-Pearson hairbrush and squeezed it

tight.

"How are you?"

"Peachy."

Man, there was nothing wrong with her memory. Was it going to be more verbal lashing

ping-pong? Did everything have to be tit for tat with this woman?

"If you can mouth off then you must be feeling all right."

"I wasn't mouthing off."

"What would you call it, Miss Priss?" he decided to sit down on the mahogany trunk that

by the foot of her bed.

"Are you thirsty, Drake?"

"Not right now. When will you relax and take off your headscarf?" Drake didn't wear his

knit cap all the time. Well he was at this very moment because he was cold himself, but

not because he wanted to hide his appearance in front of her.

"I need a cup of tea, but Mom will come up here and bring it. She has a mini fridge in

her room, I'll just take something out of there."

"Okay."

Why would she make such a big deal out of getting a drink? And Drake also noticed

how she didn't answer his question about her headscarf.

Her room was too white, Drake thought. It was too sterile and sanitary like a hospital.

Despite the no-doubt designer furnishings (some pink) and splashes of floral patterns.

Drake was convinced that she was not going to come back. After all there were plenty

of places in this huge house to hide in. He was surprised however that she came back

with not one but two bottles of Evian spring water.

"You'll need it later, Don Juanoma."

"Thanks. I'm sorry to hear that you have a cold."

"It's just a small one and mother worries too much." She sat back at her private desk

oasis.

She wasn't pushing him away nor was she running away, but Emme was definitely

keeping her distance. He could see if they were on the bed, but come on.

"Mothers will do that." Drake felt like he was a million miles away. Her room was about

the size of the whole second floor of his house. Or at least it seemed that big.

"Do you want to bake a cake?"

"What?"

Talk about going off base and being completely random, but Drake was too curious to

question this as Emme went into a small closet that was by the one small decorative

octagon shaped window.

"Do you want to bake a cake?" She took out an old box with tattered edges from 1993

that contained one pink Easy Bake oven and stood between the safety of her desk

island spot and the chest that Drake was sitting on not saying a word.

"Okay."

He had to take the bait, didn't he?

"Come over here. I don't want to get the bed dirty."

_That could be taken in a million different ways._

"Okay." His needle was stuck in the groove.

The last time he played "bake a cake" he was five years old and he helped make a

horrendous vanilla concoction before agreeing to play "doctor" with the neighbor

doctor's daughter, Heather Glazer. Audrey gave him a lecture that he didn't understand

until his puberty glands started to kick in and he was never allowed to play with little

Heather again. Heather was sent off to Flintridge Sacred Heart Academy in the La

Canada-Flintridge area.

Drake slightly smiled wondering what Emme's reaction would be if he suggested that

they play "doctor" after baking this cake?

"There's only one flavor left." Emme handed Drake the envelope of powered chocolate

mix.

"How do you know that light bulb still works?"

"I have to plug it in."

So, they were going to make a kiddie cake? Drake did go to the toy store last year and

purchased a potato launcher because it tossed potatoes over fifty feet and he did use

the emergency food money when Audrey and Walter went to Los Angeles for a

weekend to buy talking Mexican robot.

Somehow this seemed very different. He wasn't hiding behind it. He just wanted to do

the typical mischievous boy stuff. Just like making armpit noises and grossing out the

kids in the Honor Society.

Emme was still hiding. She wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Drake.

What could Drake do? At least for once Emme Jessica Watson was _trying _with him. If

she wanted to take out a childhood toy and use it so they wouldn't have to interact who

was he to really judge? But how was she going to handle going to the movies with him?

He mixed the watery mix with a long bobby pin. If this was what she wanted to then he

had to respect her choice. Megan was trying to find out information on her, but it was

much more difficult than breaking into Belleview High's computer system into the

student records area to get a copy of Mindy's transcripts. Miss Emme was too straight-

laced. They knew thanks to that video that she was a cheerleader who took part in that

San Diego school wide anti-drug program.

Megan said she might know someone whose sibling (thanks to a divorce custody

situation) also went to St. Patrick's. Maybe, it wasn't important, but Drake was never so

happy to see a parent interrupt his time with a pretty albeit hiding girl. Mrs. Watson

came in with a tray of healthy snacks and was curiously shocked to see them playing

with the Easy Bake Oven. Drake raised his eyebrow in a shared shock.

_This was not my idea._

_I'd rather have been caught in her bed._

_At least that's normal._

_And I do—_

"I thought you kids might be hungry." She set the tray down on her daughter's desk.

"Thanks, Mom."

"What are you doing?"

"Baking a cake." The time was up and Emme handed Drake the plastic pink

pan pusher.

"I get to do the honors?"

It looked like a fifth grade lab experiment. That cake if one could call it that, had a

horrible gray cast to it.

"I hope you don't think I'm going to let you two eat that."

If they didn't have cancer, eating that cake probably would have given it to them.

"I know, Mom. Bye."

_Wow. Very forthright._

_Forthright?_

_I'm definitely spending too much time listening to Josh watch Oprah._

"Okay. Drake your Mom called she said Josh will be picking you up in an hour."

_Thanks, Mom for treating me not only like an invalid but a child as well._

_I know Josh is going to pick me up._

_Next time place an ad on the Jumbotron at the San Diego Mega Dome._

"Thanks, Mrs. Watson."

Drake stood up. He needed to stretch his legs.

"This cake _is_ gross."

But she didn't want to throw it away. She hoped her Mom would let her freeze it. And if

she couldn't use the freezer in the kitchen maybe she could use the big deep freeze that

was in the finished laundry room.

"I'm glad that you can admit that." Emme unplugged the oven before joining Drake at

her desk.

"I hope you like orange slices there seem to be a lot of them."

"Yeah, I do. They're so orangey."

"Take a napkin."

Cloth. Just like the fancy-schmancy restaurants that Walter was required to take Audrey

to for their special occasion date nights. The rich, no matter how nice (well at least Mrs.

Watson was), they really did live differently.

Although Audrey had a special set of sky blue cloth napkins that they used on holidays

along with the silver ring napkin holders that belonged to Drake's Grandmother. He was

surprised that Audrey didn't break them out when she served Mrs. Watson her special

catalogue tea.

Drake ate an orange slice, it was definitely more quenching than the few sips of water

he had. He figured he had to bite the bullet. If Emme threw the plate at him at least it'd

be an honest emotion.

"Emme, do you really want to go the movies with me? If you don't want to, that's okay,

and you don't have to worry about me being angry with you."

She almost dropped her orange slice in the white cloth napkin.

What was he saying? Did he want to not go through with their date after all?

For once instead of just running away and making things worse Emme decided since

Drake was standing right in front of her to just ask him.

"Are you saying you don't want to go through with the date, after all?"

"No. That's not what I'm saying, but I'm glad you asked me."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm just making sure that this is something that you really want to do."

"Yes, it is."

"Good," Drake smiled, "Your Mother certainly brought up a lot of orange slices."

"We have a few orange and lemon trees."

Drake looked at his watch, "I'm hoping my brother will get lost in traffic. So what do we

do now, Miss Priss?"

He certainly hoped it wasn't going to be another trip to the bygone closet for a rousing

round of Chutes and Ladders.

"We could play—no. Would you like to go for a walk and see Peanut Butter Cup?"

"Who is Peanut Butter Cup?"

"My horse."

"Is your mother going to let you go outside? It is a little chilly today."

Emme opened up the overnight bag she had to keep packed just incase she needed to

go the hospital on short notice.

"It's no problem, Drake. I have a sweater." It was the perfect shade of the Pacific Ocean

that matched her eyes.

_You'd have my arms too if you'd let me hold you._

_All you have to do is say the word.._

_And you'll be free._

"Then yes, Emme, I would love to go for a walk and see your horse."

Emme smiled as she took Drake by the hand. She had to start making things right and

today seemed as good and right as any other day.

"Where are you two going?" Mrs. Watson asked carrying the mail when they came

downstairs, she noticed the handholding but didn't say a word. These poor kids were

probably embarrassed enough.

"Drake and I are going for a walk to see Peanut Butter Cup. Is that okay, Mom? I'm

wearing my sweater."

"It's fine. Have fun."

They were on the cusp of something. Making this day one of the happiest of Drake

Parker's life. He wasn't inside her bra or her panties and she wasn't offering to suck his

penis like Pamela McGraw did in the ninth grade because she wanted to go the Zero

Gravity concert with him.

It wasn't about anything sexual. It was shaping up to be one of the best days in all his

seventeen years.

"I'm holding your hand, Miss Priss." Drake said as they picked a place to stand and

watch the ten-year-old horse eat from his pile of hay.

_Let's see if you can remember this._

The two young people were on the cusp of their relationship and the only direction to go

was forward.

"Yes, you are, Don Juanoma. And I'm not letting go."

_Do you really mean it this time?_

_Yes. Holy shit. I believe that you do._

_You're still holding on for dear life._

"Drake," Emme continued

"Yeah?"

"I really do mean it this time."

"I know you do," He smiled at the prospect of the unknown, "I know you do."


	26. Sweet Bird of Paradox

**Chapter 26**

**Sweet Bird Of Paradox**

…**the next available Saturday**

It was twelve in the morning when Emme walked into her mother's room carrying a

light brown J.P. Tod's shoebox. There used to be a time when they would be sitting up

in bed watching The Late Show with David Letterman on her plasma screen over a

bowl of popcorn and one of the few times her mother allowed her to have a soft drink.

Now the TV was off and Emme even questioned in her mind why was it gathering

dust? Mrs. Simpson came in three times a week to clean. The drawer on the end table

was slightly open. It's not like it was a big government secret on what was inside. It

used to be one glass of the light and sweet Laurent Perrier Ultra Brut, which was

almost one hundred and twenty-five dollars a bottle, now it was the cheap kind with the

screw off cap. Emme Jessica Watson was fully aware of her mother's little secret.

How that timeline coincided with her very own cancer one. Mrs. Watson slept in a

Californian (natch) King sized bed. The only pictures on the end table were of her and

her mother a few years ago when her junior high class went to Six Flags Magic

Mountain in Los Angeles because they were also taking the Paramount Studio tour.

They sat on a park bench eating that frozen dried ice cream in the tiny cups. The other

picture was her brother Craig's high school graduation picture. Although the windows

were in another part of the room over the archway Mrs. Watson still wore a silk white

sleeping mask. The sun never shone near her bed. It always came to a standstill to

where the archway began.

Emme didn't shake her awake. She just walked closer to her.

"Mommy."

It took to the third 'Mommy' for Mrs. Watson to push the mask up.

"W-hat is it?" Her head felt like it was going to fall off, but she couldn't let her daughter

know that.

"May I sleep with you?"

"Of course. What's in the box?" Mrs. Watson could see from the glow of the digital

clock.

Emme put the light on the lowest setting. She knew the brightness would only make

her mother's head feel worse.

"I'm afraid of going out with Drake tonight."

"You are NOT going to cancel on him."

"I know, Mom. I need your help."

"I'm sorry that I yelled at you, Baby. What's in the box?"

"Make up. I know it's late and you want to sleep, but would you help me, please? I

really want to look pretty." She would have died on the spot if Drake was here right

now and saw her fuzzy bald head.

"You _are _pretty, Emme Jessica—but let's see what you have in there." Mrs. Watson

made the light brighter. Her daughter had cancer so she figured she could over look

her self-inflicted headache.

"This blush is too cotton candy pink. My skin is too pale now…"

"You just need a deeper hue. Stay here." Mrs. Watson slowly got out of her bed to go

the master bathroom with the lapis blue tiling to get silver and black cosmetics train

case.

"I don't want to look overly made up." She said when her mother came back.

"You won't. Now I need you to sit on the bed with your legs on the floor. Let's see—how

about this plum shade?"

"It's dark!"

"Only in the compact," Mrs. Watson applied it to the back of her hand with her sable

blush brush, "See?"

"We can try it on one cheek and compare another color."

"Sunset peach?"

"I tried that once. I don't like it. Drake is going to find me repulsive."

"He does not nor will he find you to be such. How about some tinted moisturizer? This

is 'golden aura'—I think you'll like the 'sunset peach' over it."

"Let's try it. I have no lashes…." Emme panicked as she was looking in the mirror of

one of her mother's Chanel pressed powder compact mirrors.

"Don't cry. I know for a fact that you can wear this mascara." It was unopened and for

extra sensitive eyes. Mrs. Watson opened the package. Her daughter reminded her of

herself when she was sixteen. She had to preview what she looked like hours before

the actual date and the cancer wasn't helping her daughter's self-esteem any.

"No eyeliner. I don't want to look like those---."

Emme couldn't finish the thought. Drake was obviously attracted to those wear more

make up, and less clothes girls or he never would have gone out with them in the first

place.

"You are going to knock his socks off. There. Now look in the mirror."

She had to admit she did like those lashes and the side of her face with the tinted

moisturizer was dewy and fresh with the sunset peach blush.

"I like this shade."

"Now all you'll need is a little brow pencil and a little bit of subtle neutral shimmer for

your lids and I promise Drake won't be able to take his eyes off you."

"Can I wear your Chanel #5?" It wasn't alcohol free, but she didn't care, she wanted to

feel normal and pretty for one night.

"Yes. I'll even give you the little purse spray to take with you."

They walked to vanity area, as Mrs. Watson wanted her daughter to see her self in the

full-length mirror that was by her make up table.

"Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome, dear. Now, I'll put everything I used in a little cosmetic bag for you

while you go in my bathroom and wash everything off your face. You don't want to

wake up with clogged pores." She gave her daughter a big hug and kiss. The

progress she was making over opening up her heart to the boy who stuck through her

attitude was amazing. After she put the cosmetics for Emme's date look in a pink

plastic GWP Clinique bag she closed the train case and put it under the bed for now.

Mrs. Watson put the bag on the top of the table while her hand was on the door. She

_needed_ a drink before she could go to sleep.

"I'm done, Mom. I used your coconut milk cleanser is that okay?"

"Of course it is." Her hand was still on the door she quickly removed it hoping that her

daughter didn't know.

"Can I still sleep with you?"

"Get in the covers." Simple but luxurious high thread counts white sheets and the big

dark blue comforter that Emme liked to nestle in.

"Thanks, Mommy." Neither of them wanted to sleep alone.

"Did you use any moisturizer?"

"A little bit of the La Prairie." That one small jar cost over three hundred dollars.

Mrs. Watson kept the lights on a low dimmer, just incase her daughter needed to

make an emergency sprint to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

"Good night, Sweetie."

"Good night, Mom, I love you."

Which was code for "I love you, please stop drinking."

"I love you too. Now get some sleep, you have a big date tonight."

Which was code for "I love you, but once you are asleep I am taking that drink."

Emme slept on the side facing her mother and wondered what was Drake doing at

that moment?

Josh should have been happy. He really should have been thrilled, but all he could think

about was the studying he had to do for his big history exam on Monday and was quite

angry at Drake who thought at midnight to play his acoustic guitar while sitting on the

sofa in their room.

"Ahem!" Josh cleared his throat as he banged the pillows with his fist.

But Drake didn't hear him. He was lost in his chords. There were no words, but there

was a melody building inside of him. It was the first real song he attempted to write

since his diagnosis.

"Drake, do you need to have that lamp on?" Josh rubbed his eyes as he sat up in his

bed

Again there was no answer, just chords that sounded like soft surf washing against the

sand, which Josh would have liked if it weren't frigging midnight and he had a study

date with Mindy at the Borders in Mission Valley not to mention that not only did he

have to pick up and drop off Emme and Drake at the Premiere he had to work the

night shift too.

Sometimes his brother could be so inconsiderate, but the melody was beautiful and at

least he was playing his acoustic and not the electric.

"I know I'm bothering you, Josh. I'll be going to bed in ten minutes, so relax okay?"

"You're not bothering me, Drake. Goodnight, brother."

One thing about Josh was that he was a terrible liar. Drake knew it was after midnight,

but when you feel inspired it's best to get your thoughts down. You wouldn't want to

lose a melody especially one that wasn't so plain. Besides you think his brother would

have been happy that he actually picked up his guitar to work on a song, but whatever,

he had other more happier things on his mind.

"Night, Josh."

_I have a date with Emme in 20 hours_

_And I feel fine._

**The Date**

Drake felt the only reason why Audrey didn't raise a stink over him over going out at 

night on a date was because not only of Mr. Boy Scout Josh driving them to the

Premiere, but he also was working there tonight. Of course his mother did warn him

that they shouldn't eat any pizza, eat buttered popcorn, or drink anything that was

loaded with sugar.

Walter just told him before leaving for work to "have a good time."

Josh was pestering him by knocking on the bathroom door that they had to get a move

on if they were going to drive to Emme's house and then the drive to the movie theater.

Drake buttoned his purple stripe shirt leaving the top three buttons undone and wore

his black jeans. And his sneakers were more comfortable than his rock and roll boots.

He felt he looked good and that was before he put his knit cap. He did think of going to

the GAP and buying some different colors, but he didn't want Josh to get the wrong

idea.

He hated wearing that alcohol free after-shave, especially when there was nothing to

shave.

_The slightest cut could cause a serious infection_.

And he already experienced an infection. Yeah, from his precious life saving regiment.

His cell phone rang. Drake bit on his lip. If this what he thought it was he wasn't going

to be pleased at all.

"Hi, Drake—God this is so hard."

"Emme, don't tell me that you are changing your mind? Five minutes before I leave my

house?"

"Who is jumping to conclusions now? It's nothing like that. But I think

we should cancel our date."

"Why?"

_You better have a good reason, Miss Priss…_

…_So help me_

He really felt like he could puke up the pretzels and canned peaches that were his

supper earlier.

"I'm worried about my Mom."

Emme whispered because she was afraid her Mom would hear her voice, but she was

downstairs in the kitchen making her and Drake some healthy snacks that they could

"sneak" into the movie theater. After she told him everything, he felt guilty, but let's face

it's not like Emme Jessica Watson had a glowing track record in this area.

"If I can arrange something…you'll still want to---?"

"Yes, Drake. I swear I'm not running away this time." The tears were just waiting to pour

of out of her. Otherwise she'd be in her pajamas instead of her smart black Burberry

sweater with the snap placket and the denim kilt skirt with a side black leather faux

snap belt, black ribbed tights, and Bass burgundy penny loafers and not to mention her

perfectly done yet natural looking made up face.

She still _needed_ the sanctuary of her headscarf. Another Hermes from her

Grandmother's collection this one was just a safe neutral British tan. It matched the itty-

bitty Novacheck pattern around the v-neck collar of her sweater.

Plus the clip was a simple white gold bar design with a small diamond chip on the top.

"Hold on, okay?" Drake put the phone down and called for Josh.

"What is it, Drake? We're almost running late as it is!" He buttoned his red Premiere

vest.

"Talk to Emme for a second. I have to talk to mom for a minute."

"Uh—okay, but hurry it up."

"Don't you think I know that?" Josh backed away, he was convinced Drake was going

to pick him up and throw him out of a second story window if he didn't just do as he

asked.

Drake was brilliant Emme thought as she paced in the foyer. Having Audrey just

happen to drop by with some homemade (well Pillsbury) banana bread after they

leave was just smart. She wouldn't have thought of it. Mom wouldn't excessively drink

in front of others. Just because she only saved it for bedtime didn't mean that she

didn't have a problem. This was only a temporary band-aid non-solution, but at least

Emme and Drake could go on their date as planned.

"I bet you're glad that I got your car hot waxed now." Josh said as he drove up the long

driveway of the Watson estate after the gates opened. He quite liked it.

"No. I don't want you touching my car ever again without my permission. And since you

are never going to get it this conversation is over." Drake wiped the lint off the

shoulders of his black blazer. He thought he looked damn good. It didn't really dawn on

him that it was his first time on a real date since everything happened to him. Their

cancer situation was bad enough it didn't need the extra drama of Mrs. Watson

deciding to hit the bottle. He wondered if his mother had any secret bad habits due to

the stress of her son being sick? No. Audrey wouldn't hit the bottle or do drugs. She

had too much strong resolve.

"Okay—don't be too long. I have to get to work in thirty minutes."

"Josh, I'm not an idiot."

There was a big mirror directly above the small cherry wood side table, which had a

white Lenox vase with lilies painted on it. Her mother wanted her to wear a jacket. She

had a sweater on. They lived in San Diego and even though there were chilly nights it

was fifty-five degrees outside with no dips in sight according to weatherman Walter

Nichols of KDJY.

Drake rang the doorbell.…Emme took three deep breaths beforeshe answered.

She didn't want to appear too eager.

"Hi." He said, thinking he should've purchased flowers and he never thought of

purchasing flowers for anyone other than this mother on Mother's Day and even then

he sometimes forgot.

"Hi."

"Emme, you left your jacket in the kitchen. I put some dried fruit in your inside jacket

pocket. Hello, Drake."

"Hi, Mrs. Watson."

"You kids have fun tonight. Be home after the movie, okay, Sweetie?"

"I will." Emme gave her Mother a quick kiss on the cheek.

She put on her jean jacket and grabbed her small signature black Dooney and Bourke

handbag with the purple and pink lettering.

"Bye." Drake said quietly reaching for her hand.

"I hope your Mom is coming soon."

"Don't worry. I called her before ringing your doorbell, she's on the way."

"Thanks, Drake, I guess I'm just trouble no matter how you slice it."

"Emme, you're not trouble."

He opened the door for her wishing he was cancer free and Josh wasn't there to drive

them.

"Hi, Josh."

"Hi, Emme. I'll be your driver for the evening." He tried to lighten the mood, but Drake

wanted to smack him upside the head for that comment.

_I'm supposed to be the one driving **my** car._

Emme wasn't consciously aware of resting her head on Drake's shoulder as Josh

drove them to the Premiere. She smelled like light flowers.

"I'm not sleeping, Drake. I'm just resting. Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

When they got to the Premiere Drake led Emme to small table off to the side while he

ordered two slices of pizza. What Audrey and Beverly didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

Plus they decided to share a large Mocha Cola. Diet soda was loaded with chemicals,

but chemotherapy was literally poison. Besides they'd eat and drink slow. He felt

something hit him in the back as he waited in line. It didn't hurt him. It was like when

you get your hair in your eyes and you have to sweep it away. There was another one

to his head. It was a spitball. His only thought was to carefully to turn around to make

sure Emme was okay at the table. She was writing in her little notebook. He took out

his wallet to pay for his order when it was his turn. The hairs (what was left on them)

stood up on his neck when he heard the pretend hushed voices of Francesca Cali and

Lorrie Willows laugh. He didn't have to be seeing them to know that they were

pointing.

"I can't believe you went out with cancer boy." Francesca said to Lorrie

"Yeah, he's such a dog now. Since he's losing his hair we can call him Fall Out Boy for

the yearbook."

"He looks like a retard in that cap."

It had to be Lorrie's boyfriend Brian Andrews on the football team and the rest of his

dumb jock ilk who were behind the spitballs.

Lorrie didn't think he was dog when he let her give him a hand job behind the

bleachers last year.

He hoped this stopped when he got to their table. There was no point in letting Emme

know what was going on. Drake didn't think he was going to make it to their table

without spilling everything that was on the orange tray on the floor. So this was what it

was like to be unpopular?

"Hi." Drake said. It felt so good to sit down.

"Hi."

"One large Mocha Cola and two pizzas."

"Our Mothers wouldn't approve."

"That's half of the fun."

Everything went smoothly until they started to share their soda. It might have been

corny and something out of a Leave it to Beaver rerun, but it was _their _date to do as

they pleased. There was the heckling, laughter, the non-whispers, and a spitball this

one bigger than the rest that landed on Emme's cheek.

"Drake, it's okay." She removed it with her napkin.

"No, it's not."

"Please." She stroked his hand.

"For you, Emme."

He hoped none of these jerks would be seeing Finding Texas. 

"Don't pay them any mind, okay? I'd much rather focus on what's important."

Drake was never on this side before. He swore to himself if he ever got better he

would never pick on any nerd ever again. No matter how harmless it seemed like when

as recent as the last day he was at Belleview when he was "in on" hiding Eric's clothes

after gym class. But that was mainly because he was in the infancy of dealing with his

cancer news that he had to take it out on somebody.

"Josh gave us complimentary tickets." Drake said taking them out of the inside of his

jacket pocket and placing them next to the red napkin dispenser.

"Look at Fall Out Boy and his Fall Out Girl."

That did it. Drake slapped his hands on the table ready to stand up.

"Don't say anything, Drake."

The only thing that stopped him was the shower that was raining down on one table

and one table only.

Drake and Emme laughed. Those jerks deserved it.

"How are you doing, Drake Parker?"

"Good, Helen. This is my _girl_friend, Emme Jessica Watson."

_Girlfriend?_

"Hi." Emme said

"This is Helen Du'Bois, she manages the theater."

"Isn't it a shame that you are having sprinkler problems?" Drake asked

"It's a shame that I don't know how to turn it off. You kids enjoy the movie."

"Thanks, Helen."

She winked.

It was sweet music hearing the insult crowd yelling and threatening to sue the place

after Lorrie complained about a loose tooth after slipping on the floor and into the chair

leg. And Brian Andrews trying to help his girlfriend up fell on his big dumb ass and slid

into the toppled table.

"I don't know about you, Miss Priss, but I'm feeling so much better."

"Same here, Don Juanoma."

Those were the only 'insults' that mattered.

Emme hoped that Drake didn't think she was a tease when she made sure her head

was nowhere in the make out position. It was one thing to rest her on Drake's shoulder

while Josh was driving but dark movie theaters were especially made for making out.

It's not that she didn't want to. It's just that she wasn't ready. She hoped that he would

be content just sharing the dried apricot slices and raisins that her mother tucked in

her jacket pocket.

"Are you having a good time?" Emme whispered, letting her insecurities rise to the

surface.

"Of course. You can rest your head on my shoulder if you want." Drake could tell she

was scared of making out and he would never take liberties.

"You want to finish the last apricot?"

"Thanks, Emme."

Josh had instructions to take Emme home as soon as the movie was over, but there

was another reason why he was anxiously waiting for the movie to be over. He did wait

outside theater four until all the credits were done rolling and all of the patrons left so

they could have their privacy.

"Drake," Josh ran to them as they walked out of the theater, "You have to promise me

you won't get angry, bro."

"What is it, Josh?"

"Follow me." They all walked to the parking lot and Drake's jaw dropped.

His cool vintage car was had all four tires slashed, most of the windows broken, and

written in dark ruby lipstick on the left passenger side window that wasn't broken read:

**Fall Out Boy + Fall Out Girl **

**Cancer Freaks Forever**

"I'm sorry, Drake." Emme said, she noticed he was holding her hand tight.

"It's not your fault."

"I'm supposed to take you home, Emme." Josh added

"No. That's my job. We'll just call a cab. I'll deal with my car later. You don't have to

worry about us anymore, Josh. Just go back to work."

Emme didn't want the date to end with Drake. Despite some of the morons who went

to Belleview High she really had a good time with him and really was in no hurry for this

evening to come to a close.

"Someday, I'll be the one driving you somewhere." Drake said to Emme as the taxi

driver was expecting a huge tip for driving them to Del Mar Meadows Road.

"For once, I'm not the pain in the ass, huh?" She tried to loosen the mood.

"You're not."

And Drake needn't worry about such things; she really had a good time and couldn't

wait to tell her mother about it.

Of course there was one little thing that had to be dispensed of. How were they going

to handle their goodbyes for the night?

"I think that cab driver was mad at me that I only gave him a two dollar tip, but I have

call a taxi to get home." Drake said when he escorted Emme back inside the house.

Mrs. Watson made sure the entry light was left on for them.

"I want you to know that I had a great time tonight, Drake." She held his hands.

"I did too, Emme. I'm sorry about those idiots though."

She moved her body closer to his. "Do you want to go out again?"

"Hey, it's the man's job to ask that. Do you want to go out again?" Drake didn't waste

any time.

Emme let herself giggle, "Yes, I do."

He moved in even closer, "I guess this is goodnight."

"Goodnight," She put her hands on his shoulders as they kissed each other. Emme

pulled Drake towards her more. She'd let him slip in the tongue, but they should save

something for the next date.

"Take it off…" she whispered

"What?" his hands were about to go up her sweater and to her bra. It was a force of

habit.

"N-n-o," She directed him further up with a shaking hand, "T-this."

Drake removed her hair clip and let it rattle on the floor as he unwrapped her

headscarf.

This was the most sensual experience he ever had. She _trusted_ him and she wouldn't

be backstabbing him later. He spun her around as the scarf slipped down to her neck

and draped her shoulders. He kept his arms around her as they looked at their

reflections in the mirror.

"This is what a beautiful woman looks like." Drake kissed her on the neck.

"Thank you." She softly whispered.

"Now, I want you to do me a favor," He took her by the hand, "Lead me to your

brother's room."

"Wha—t?"

"Please."

"Okay. Be quiet though."

Emme hoped her mother wasn't passed out drunk in her bed. She doubted it if Audrey

was here earlier than she probably just curled up with a good book and might still be

up so they had to keep quiet. She wondered what Drake was up to. She could tell by

the look in his profound brown eyes that it wasn't about kinky (or otherwise) sex.

"Bathroom." Drake whispered when they got there.

"Drake," Emme was most confused, "We have plenty of bathrooms. Why do you want

to use my brother's?"

He put his index finger to her lips, "Ssh."

Emme walked ahead of Drake to Craig's bathroom so she could turn on the light.

Did Drake want to take a shower with her?

Drake smiled as he scoped the marble counter top.

"I'm confused."

Drake took off his knit cap and placed it on the clothes hamper. "Miss Priss, do you

have a big beach towel?"

"What in the world?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah, right behind you on the door hook." It was yellow and said 'Mexico' on it in big

colorful green and red letters. It was a souvenir from Craig's senior class trip to

Mexico.

"Cool. I'll bring that chair over here."

"Drake…"

"Thanks," Drake fanned the towel out and put it around his chest, "I've been in denial

about one thing. It's really not my style to be talkative, but for you Emme and not

Clipboard Ted I will tell you—I really lived by my looks, especially my hair. I was worse

than some girls. You know spending an hour in front of the bathroom mirror—_because _

_apart from my music what_ _else do I have to offer apart from my looks?_ Don't answer

yet. I still have a while of wonderful chemotherapy treatments to go and it's only hair

and it'll grow back…that's what _they_ all say. And it's all going to fall out eventually, so I

want you to shave all my hair off."

"What? I don't want to hurt you…"

"You won't, Emme. My Dad has that same brand."

"But what if I nick you? You know cuts are dangerous and you already had an infection

that could've killed you."

"I think you might need to sit down. I'll be fine. Just go slow, okay."

The medical assistant's kept recommended using those gross smelling depilatories

and there was no way he was going to put Nair on his face or his head. Not after he

smelled the putrid scented lotion that Audrey had in the medicine cabinet.

She grabbed the razor from its charging box.

"Are you sure, Don Juanoma?"

"I'm sure."

Whatever he was going to feel when his hair hit the floor he wasn't going to air in her

presence. He'd keep it all locked inside until he got home.

_My hair_

_Is all on the floor_

_My hair_

_I think I might be sick_

_Not my hair_

When Emme was done she kissed his shaved head. She put the razor back on the

counter and extended her hand. Now it was her turn.

"This is what a beautiful man looks like." She kissed his neck.

"Thanks."

They shared another kiss.

"Remember unless you are cold or want to make a fashion statement, don't hide your

head."

"You're wonderful, Drake."

"Yes. So are you, Emme."

He put on his cap back on, "Oh and there's another point—if you want to tell everyone

in your family at once."

_My hair is all over the floor._

_What if it never grows back?_

_Its only hair right?_

Emme hugged him tight.

"You feel wonderful."

She wanted to sleep with his body next to hers. With their arms and legs deliciously

wrapped around each other's.

"Likewise."

He didn't want this night to end either, but he knew it he had to face realities such as

calling the auto club to get his car towed to a repair shop and getting home himself.

"I'll call a cab for you."

She wanted to say it, but she was afraid and shouldn't they save something for date

number two?

_I want to say it._

_Does she want to say it?_

_Better save it for later._

"I'll call you." Drake said as they waited for his taxi to arrive

"You better." She stuck out her tongue

They kissed for about a "million" more times outside her house until the cab honked its

unfortunate horn.

Emme was too overexcited and felt like she was one inch out of her body after she

used the electric broom to clean Drake's hair off her brother's bathroom floor. She

went to her bathroom. Emme took off her clothes and placed them in her clothes

hamper and took a lukewarm bath. She dressed in her St. Patrick's phys ed.

department t-shirt and light blue sleeping pants. Emme cleansed her face clean at her

sink with her face wash and put a dollop some face cream on. She put on her thick

pink socks and headed for her mother's room.

"Mom," Emme said looking at her sleeping body. "Mommy?"

"Ssh," Mrs. Watson said wearing her sleeping mask, "Just get in the covers." Her

speech was one more glass away from being slurred.

She could smell the alcohol on her Mother's breath.

Damn it.

Damn it.

Damn it.

"I had a nice time with Drake." But you were supposed to ask me that question, Emme

felt annoyed at the woman who gave birth to her.

"You can tell me all about it tomorrow afternoon. Now be a good girl and go to sleep."

'I love you, Drake.' She thought

Unbeknownst to her at that very moment the soft guitar strings from a few miles away

echoed the words that were stirring in her heart.

In both of their hearts the love song continued to be written.

'_I love you, Emme Jessica'._


	27. Flat Ginger Ale

**Chapter 27**

**Flat Ginger Ale**

…**the next day**

"I told you NOT to eat any pizza." Audrey said to Drake while she poured the ginger

ale in a Sea World glass that she let get to room temperature.

_Damn, Josh. You just can't keep your big mouth shut._

"It was just one slice and I don't think that's why my stomach is queasy."

"Josh also mentioned that you and Emme shared a COLA."

"What else did Josh just happen to mention?" Drake sat at the kitchen table with

his flat ginger ale and saltine crackers.

"He only worries about you, Sweetie. Like we all do." She gave him a quick kiss on

the cheek.

"Is it safe to come in?" Josh said as he peeked his head through the swinging

kitchen door.

"Just come in." Drake bit down on a cracker instead of biting off his brother's head.

"Jake's Garage called while you were sleeping. Your car will be ready on

Wednesday. I feel awful about what those horrible kids did." But Audrey was glad

that Helen turned the sprinklers on them.

"You just had to tell Mom that too?" Drake would have stormed upstairs in a quiet

huff, but there was something that he had to do as soon as Dad and Megan joined

them in the kitchen where they all would be eating their hearty and bountiful Sunday

breakfast except for him. Unless you counted the tasteless ginger ale and saltine

crackers as a complete Sunday breakfast.

"I worry about you, Drake."

_I wish you'd worry about me less_

Now it was Drake's turn to ask questions.

"Before I call Emme later, I'd like to know how Mrs. Watson is?"

Audrey broke the eggs into a bright orange bowl for the homemade pancake

batter, she wished there was something special she could make for Drake. She

wondered if his stomach could handle two plain pancakes?

"I feel so bad for Beverly. She was fidgety. I could tell she wanted to wrap up my

visit before it even started. I don't doubt for a second that as soon as I left she went

for the liquor. Her husband doesn't even contact the family."

Audrey also felt bad for Emme not only having her personal issues on top of her

cancer and now her mother's alcoholism.

"That's sad. She won't be able to confine her drinking to just nighttime. Eventually it

will catch up with her." Josh said while buttering a piece of toast annoying Drake

with not only the conversation, but also the sound of the butter knife on the toast. It

sounded like he was removing paint from a wall with a metal scraper.

It was like fingernails on a chalkboard.

He did not like Josh having opinions on Emme or her Mother.

_What happens to Emme if her mother is not able to take care of her?_

Well there was one thing that Josh and the rest of the family did not know about yet.

This belonged to Drake and Drake alone.

"Are you making blueberry pancakes?" Megan asked pouring herself a glass of

orange juice

_I want blueberry pancakes_

_With butter_

_And real maple syrup that has sugar in it_

_And six slices of bacon_

_Instead of flat ginger ale and crackers._

_Who am I? A 90-year-old man?_

"Which tie looks better on TV? The blue stripe on red or the green with the tiny

diamond patterns?" That was Walter's cue to come into the kitchen.

"The green." Audrey said.

She didn't need to remind her husband that she was the one who purchased that

tie for one of his birthday presents did she?

"I like the blue stripe." Josh put his two cents in. It had that television look to it.

"I like the---" Megan started to say

"Enough! I have something important to say!"

Drake couldn't take much more of this everyday droning.

"What's wrong, Drake?" His mother asked

"_Everything," _Not that he was going to reveal anything, but a few choice nuggets

that everyone in the kitchen needed to hear, "One, Josh—I do not care how much

you mean well. If there is something that I need to tell Mom or Dad—I will do so

myself. And stop doing things without my permission like getting my car waxed.

Two—Mom and Dad, I appreciate all that you've done and continue to do for me,

really I do. But please let go a bit. Especially, you Mom. I'm seventeen years old. If I

want to have a greasy pizza and a sugary soda on one night, I'm old enough to face

the consequences. If I puke, then I puke; it's not the end of the world. Please cut the

apron strings—and Dad be a trendsetter, don't wear a tie. The only one who hasn't

badgered me is Megan. Who'd have ever thought that?"

She smiled, like Drake she too was a "please respect my space" person. It must

have been a Parker trait.

"Drake," Audrey started to say

"I'm not finished, Mom. There's something else. Something I have to show you

guys. _And I do not want anyone in this room to make a big deal about it_ and that

goes quadruple for you, Josh. I'm surprised I was able to hide it until this moment."

Drake took off his knit cap to show his bald head.

He didn't care about anyone's shocked faces.

It wasn't about them.

"It was only going to all fall out anyway, so that's that. Not a word." Drake put his

cap back on.

_I'm cold right?_

_Not ashamed?_

Audrey put her hands on Drake's shoulders and kissed his cheek. She was proud

of her son's speech, but a little sad at the same time. Her little boy wasn't small

anymore. He was a young man and wanted to be treated as such. And cancer or

no cancer as painful as it was going to be she had to start "letting go".

"Would you like a few plain pancakes?" She asked

"Yes," Drake replied while eating his last cracker, "I would. Thanks, Mom."

For thirty-five minutes no one talked about "poor cancer victim Drake" and he

was grateful, even if his father was still undecided about his tie for the day and Josh

wanted to go Best Buy to buy the new Clay Aiken album that came out on Tuesday.

Whatever.

Drake was happy that the pancakes actually settled his stomach and he felt better.

Not that he could do any mountain climbing, but it felt good to clear the air. He was

sure there would be days when his parents would be well _parents_, but he hoped that

Josh would know the right times to leave him alone and to stop sticking his nose in

his business where it didn't belong.

You didn't see Drake wanting to join the psychics club or to go the bookstore

because Oprah said so.

He was glad that Josh didn't follow him up to his room, granted Josh might have

needed something in here, it was his room too after all. But hopefully, he took

Drake's words to heart. He sat on the sofa and took his cell phone off the coffee

table.

_I did promise._

_And I want to._

"Hey, Emme."

"Hi, Drake."

"Am I calling too early?"

Cancer didn't treat everyone equally. He certainly hoped that she was having a

good day.

"No. My Mother got plastered last night."

"I'm sorry. My Mother said she was kind of rushed out of your house last night.

Maybe, you could talk to her?"

But if Mrs. Watson were anything like Drake, if he had a drinking problem he

certainly wouldn't have wanted to talk about it with anyone.

"What do I say?"

"That you are concerned about her."

Their time together was precious and the last thing Emme wanted to talk about

was her mother's problem. It was just wasting and cutting into their

EmmeandDrake time.

"Last night you forgot to say something."

"I did?"

"Yeah. When is our second date is going to be? Since you are the man

and all you wouldn't let me ask you out."

He laughed a bit.

"Next Friday?" He offered

"I can't. It's a chemo day. Thursday?"

"I can't. Same."

"Tuesday?" She offered

"We could see a movie in the afternoon. We'll have the place to ourselves. Only old

people go to the theater at eleven."

"I'd like that. Drake, I feel bad about what happened."

"There's nothing for you to feel bad about, Emme."

"Yeah, but I told my mother about this when she was sober about a half hour ago,

and she reminded me that not all kids are like that."

"I know. Most people are supportive when you have cancer and

would not make fun of others. But I guess this was revenge for how I treated some

of those girls."

_But they were shallow uncompassionate skanks to begin with_

_So why was I with them?_

_Because of my male horny needs_

"I refuse to feel sorry for those whores and their baboonish boyfriends. It's just not

all kids."

This was another thing Emme really didn't want to spend too much time on. She

didn't want every conversation to be about their cancer and how some people in

the population treated them like crap. There are uncompassionate people of all

ages all over the world who stare at people confined to wheelchairs and people

who had diseases. She wanted to talk about her and Drake as girlfriend and

boyfriend, none of this other in-the-way stuff.

Their time was precious.

"Agreed. But there are many cliques in Belleview."

"St. Patrick's is full of them too. Drake?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe when we go to the movies----" She let her words trail off. She didn't want to

be the predictable sort.

"You have me curious…"

"We won't watch the movie?"

"Emme Jessica Watson," Drake picked up a pencil and rolled it between his

fingers, "You're so bad."

"But you love it right?"

"You know it."

_I'm beginning to……_

"Drake, I'm sorry, I have to go_—_Mom made this brunch for two and I feel good

enough to eat something---and not to mention, I really need to talk to her. I'll call you

later tonight?"

"Just take your time, remember your Mother loves you. Sure. Seven would be

good."

"Talk to you later, Drake. Bye."

She didn't want their conversation to end.

"Bye, Emme."

Neither did he.

He stood up to stretch his legs.

_Seven would be wonderful._

"And so would another glass of flat ginger ale." Drake happily tossed his phone in

the air and put it back on the table after he caught it before returning to the kitchen

eagerly anticipating what it would be like to make out during a movie with a person

he actually cared about.

He couldn't wait for Tuesday afternoon to find out.

He knew last night's kisses were the best he ever experienced.

_The best._


	28. Side Effects

**Chapter 28**

**Side Effects**

…**Tuesday afternoon's movie date**

There was something under the surface that scared Drake Parker on the inside. It

wasn't until late last night when Josh was home in his bed snoring like a hobo with a

sinus infection that Drake with his hands crossed behind his head with his pillows

propped up even thought about it.

Drake was quite happy to have the house to himself and was relieved that yesterday

was not their movie date day as it was one of those of moments of what-end-do-you-

take-care-of-first. Not once, not twice, but ten times that day. Audrey recommended that

Drake and Emme cancel their date, but she knew the final decision was up to her son.

Drake said if he felt 'good' in the morning then he was going. He had the not-so-brilliant

idea to tell Emme this on the phone last night who almost sided with his mother. Drake

knew her heart was in the right place, but how much time did they have? If it wasn't a

chemo day or the after effects, it was just a general 'I feel crappy day'. Their social

calendar time together was more brief than the moon phases it seemed. The support

group seemed in the way, but they couldn't just stop going could they?

Why did they even have to have cancer? Drake thought as he went through his t-shirt

collection in his top dresser drawer.

Couldn't he and Emme have met somehow—someway?

St. Patrick's never competed in any sports events with Belleview. The Watson's lived in

that huge estate in the part of San Diego where the elite lived. Drake never went to the

stores Emme did her shopping in and she never went to the same clubs. Infact, she told

him quite nervously that the only concert that she ever saw was the Backstreet Boys

when she was in junior high with a bunch of screaming girls from her cheerleading

team.

He assured her it was all right.

As soon as Drake settled on his black and red Zero Gravity tour shirt the phone rang.

He knew without even glancing at the caller ID that it was Emme.

"How are you feeling, Drake?"

"Better than I was yesterday. Yourself?"

"Good."

"I'll be picking you up in about a half hour."

She laughed nervously, "You mean Josh is driving us. Didn't you say he had fourth

period lunch?"

"Yeah he does. But I'm still driving us."

"Drake, you don't have to get all macho and prove your manhood. Or should I call you

Don Juanoma?"

"Call me anything but late for dinner, Miss Priss. I'm perfectly capable of picking you up

and driving us to the Premiere."

Let's not argue over this 

_It was hard enough getting Mom's okay._

Emme thought she could get him on a vanity call.

"But your car isn't repaired yet."

"I know. I have to drive the Honda."

Mom agreed to have Walter carpool with Crazy Gene the KDJY sports guy while she

drove his red Toyota Celica.

It was another sensible and safe boring car in the Nichols-Parker household.

"You don't want to be seen driving a Honda. That's not a cool car for a cool guy such as

yourself to be driving."

Drake laughed. What a cute effort. Her real personality was coming through each and

everyday. She really wasn't an angry stuck up princess it was just her persona.

"Nice try, Emme. I'll be there in a few minutes. See ya."

"Bye, Drake."

While Emme wanted to go downstairs and wait for Drake outside she really had no

interest in bumping into her mother. She gave him the alphanumeric pass code that

was below the intercom box so the gate would open.

She kept twisting and untwisting the cappuccino colored lipstick. If cancer had to come

why didn't it wait until she had her self-assurance?

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in, Mother."

But Beverly Watson who was still dressed in her pajamas just stuck her head in the

door.

"I want you to come home after the movie."

"you won't even notice if i'm late." Emme whispered putting on the lipstick nervously

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'll call you if I'm late."

Why couldn't her mother get dressed? Just because her mauve colored pajamas and

long flowing silk robe were expensive they were still pajamas. Her hair needed a good

combing too.

"Just don't be late."

Was there a glass in her hand?

Emme ran after her mother. Then she stopped her run to a slow walk so she could just

check the contents of that glass. Maybe, it was just orange juice and vodka need not

apply? Or it was orange juice until her mother used her not so secret stash from her

bedroom to spike it? Emme put her jean jacket on the doorknob while she waited for

her mother to put the glass on her vanity table and when she went to her bathroom that's

when she took the opportunity to pick it up and smell the contents.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" Mrs. Watson came back with an unopened box

of tissues to place on her vanity table.

Emme's stomach sank to the floor she knew this could only turn ugly.

"Mom—"

Mrs. Watson snatched the glass out of her daughter's hand.

"Are you disappointed that it's only orange juice? I told YOU I'd cut back since _you _

seem to think that _I_ have a problem. Get off my back and remember whom the parent

is. So, I suggest you turn around and walk out of this house while you are still able to go

out on a date with Drake."

How did she mean that? She turned around knowing that the world stabbed her in the

back once again. Of all the people who left her, she couldn't bear if her own mother

wound up leaving her too. She noticed there were no healthy dried fruit snacks packed

for her and Drake to have at the Premiere. Emme jumped not expecting Drake to be

standing outside ready to ring the doorbell when she opened the door.

"Emme, are you all right?" She looked beautiful not hiding behind a tightly wound albeit

designer headscarf.

"Hi, Drake," she kissed him on the cheek, "Let's just go."

She closed the door behind them. It sounded like security chamber.

"What—"

"Damn it."

"What is it?"

"I left my jean jacket on the door knob of my mother's room." She punched the security

code so the doors would open without her key.

"I'll get it for you."

"And while you're up there…."

"Yeah?"

"Will you divert my Mother's attention and see if she put vodka in her orange juice

glass?"

Emme was surprised that she wasn't breaking down over the situation.

"It'll be all right." He squeezed her hand tight.

Drake tried to make her feel better, but he wasn't quite sure that he believed it himself.

He folded Emme's jacket over his arm and he didn't have to inspect what was inside

the tall glass when he saw Mrs. Watson with his own eyes drink some of the orange

juice off the top so she could fill it up with vodka.

Mrs. Watson always seemed so pulled together. Drake quietly turned around and left

the house. How was he going to tell his girlfriend what she didn't want to hear?

"Thank you for getting my jacket."

"Emme---"

"My Mom's drinking?"

"Yes. I saw her fill up her glass with vodka. I'm really sorry."

"Damn. Would you put your arm me while you drive?"

"Of course."

That would mean she couldn't wear her seat belt. All the safety that she needed was

Drake's touch.

For two hours it was bliss. Helen was there and said it was a shame that sprinkler

malfunctioned. She recommended that they "see" Elderly Nurse because no one

purchased tickets for it since they opened.

Apart from the two bathroom breaks (one his because yesterday's all day sickathon

apparently didn't count and one hers) there were no cancer interruptions. They kissed.

She let him french her; even though she was extremely nervous and thought she was

"doing it wrong". Drake never judged her and put her at ease. Not once did they think of

anything else, but the time in front of them. Drake hated dropping Emme off at her

house when their too short movie date was over. If she needed anything, he reminded

her she could call no matter what time it was. She offered the same and said she'd be

okay, as she had no plans of interacting with her mother today. Even though Drake

could tell it was tearing her up inside. They were really close. She was a complete

Mommy's girl in the best sense of the word. They were like sisters who enjoyed going

shopping, out to lunch, and other activities together. Drake told her again that it would

"be all right" but he still didn't believe his words to her. Neither one of them ended with

the words that they both wanted to say, maybe, that would happen on date number

three?

Drake went back home and went in through the back door. He was going to get himself

a bottle of apple juice because the Sprite that he had at the Premiere was not enough.

Mainly because he and Emme were too busy locking lips and swishing tongues about

to be bothered with "silly" things such as staying hydrated. Although, they both knew

they shouldn't tempt the cancer scales like that.

Walter was home about to make a sandwich.

"Hey," Drake said scanning the refrigerator for the bottle of apple juice, "You're home

early, Dad."

"Just for lunch. How did your date go with Emme?"

Crazy Gene only lived two blocks up so when he went home for lunch (which was

probably code for having a quickie with his live in girlfriend) Walter took the opportunity

to eat lunch at home. He thought Audrey would be back by now.

"Okay—I---I have a q---never mind." Drake took his bottle with him and was about to

head back upstairs to his room.

He stopped in his tracks and thought about one of the things that was keeping him from

sleeping.

Drake turned around and opened the door,

"Can we go somewhere for a drive?"

Was Drake reaching out to him? Walter almost choked on his ham on rye.

"Of course, son."

"Only on the condition that you do not tell anyone."

"You have my word, Drake."

Walter got up to get a Ziploc bag so he could take his sandwich with him.

"Do you only have an hour for lunch?"

"Don't worry about that. Have you eaten any lunch?"

"No."

Walter put the wrapped sandwich in the refrigerator.

"Instead of just a drive around town how about we go to Dave & Buster's?"

They did have good soup there.

"That's fine. Except for one thing---"

"What's that, Drake?"

"We'll talk in the car and have lunch at Dave & Buster's?"

Walter smiled. It was rare that he and Drake even after his cancer diagnosis bonded

like real people. People that went places together on purpose. If Emme was having this

effect on him then Walter was most appreciative.

"You got yourself a deal."

Walter took a piece of paper from the yellow pad that was on the counter and wrote a

note to his wife.

**Audrey,**

**Drake and I went to Dave & Buster's.**

**Love, **

**Walter**

"Thanks, Dad." Drake said as he held the swinging door open for his father.

Hoping that the father who may not have been his biological one but who was the one

counted more where it really mattered could help him. And Drake Parker never went to

anyone for help.

"You do realize you have to be seen in a Honda again?" Walter joked.

"If I keep this up, I might be able to make them actually cool." He handed his father the

keys.

"You do promise that you won't tell anyone?" Drake asked again for reassurance as he

buckled his seatbelt. He was thankful for having two stable parents.

"Drake," Walter buckled his seatbelt as well, aware that their relationship could improve

and progress to the next level today, "I promise."

"Thanks, Dad."


	29. Imposters and Secrets

**Chapter 29**

**Imposters and Secrets**

…**Friday, Emme's chemotherapy day**

The pictures were all over the king sized bed. Little faces with big wondrous eyes

excited to see the department store Santa Claus, trips to the amusement park where

you had to meet the height requirements to go on all the "neat rides". Warm days when

all that was needed was an orange popsicle and a green plastic wading pool. When

one could play all day with a miniature set of Hot Wheels cars complete with a looped

racing track and not once complain of "boredom". The scrapbook was originally

supposed to an eighteenth birthday present, but that was before that pain in the

shoulder turned out to be cancer. Drake wasn't one for sentimentalized fluff, but Audrey

pressed on and still worked on the scrapbook. When it was completed maybe she

could just sneak it into his dresser drawer without making a big deal out of it over cake.

Would he even want a party? Drake was one of those sorts who really didn't want a big

to-do put on. He'd rather go the Premiere and hang out with his friends. But that was

before his diagnosis and before he met the not-so-insufferable Emme Jessica

Watson.

She was organizing the pages by years, a few pages designated for each year until

the last page with pictures of his eighteenth birthday. Megan was helping find relevant

things-that-happened-on-your-birthday headlines to go inside the scrapbook. Audrey

couldn't help feeling left out her son tells her, especially her, to cut the apron strings and

then he goes and confides in his father.

"That book is coming along nicely." Walter kissed his wife on the cheek bringing in a

tray of lemon mint iced tea which Josh made a big pitcher of last night for the heck of it.

"I don't know if I'm going to give this to Drake. I might keep this just for myself and

maybe we can buy him that special signature Devon Malone guitar."

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Nothing."

Now she knew where her kids got their avoidance traits from.

"I know nothing means something."

The Nichols' never hid their feelings. They also lied badly and needed pretty big

sleeves for their hearts to rest on.

"Why can't you tell me, Walter?"

"Tell you, what?" He drank Josh's homemade iced-tea, he knew exactly what his wife

was referring to but he'd play dumb if he had to. But he wouldn't be able to lie if she

decided to go with the probing questions.

"What did Drake confide in you about?"

"Audrey, you of all people, know how long a road it's been to Drake accepting me as

his father. Didn't the promise I made to keep his secret mean anything to you?"

Audrey stood up as some of Drake's baby pictures fell off the bed.

"He's NOT shutting you out, Walter." When Parker's didn't want to talk about anything

they just stormed off and if they cried unless it was a matter of life or death, they did so

in private.

Another negative trait passed on.

When Emme Jessica Watson was nervous she used to constantly brush her long

blonde hair ala Marcia Brady in reruns of The Brady Bunch. She just got off the phone

with Drake. How sweet was he? He was going through his own physical discomfort

and pain due to his chemotherapy treatment yesterday and yet he called her to ask her

how she was doing?

Better after she got that phone call.

Drake was concerned how she was going to get to her chemotherapy session if her

mother was too drunk to notice. Mrs. Watson seemed well enough (i.e. she forced

herself not to drink) so she could drive her daughter to her appointment. She made

sure she was dressed and ready and without any words buckled herself into

passenger side of the Lexus.

Mrs. Watson looked harried and even though she wore a pink and black Chanel suit

she still looked unkempt like she needed a shower. It was never uncomfortable in the

car before. The radio wasn't on. The only sounds were of their breathing. Emme had to

try but it took her until they were almost at the hospital before she did.

"Mom, if I'm up to it do you think we could go to the Crown Room for tea afterwards?"

Mrs. Watson squeezed her hands on the nine and three o'clock positions on the

steering wheel.

"Whatever you want." She whispered through clenched teeth.

"No, you have to want it too."

"What a selfish brat you are. Isn't my driving you here enough? You want to go out for

tea on the other side of town? You ungrateful child."

"You have a problem, Mom."

There. She was just going to keep on saying it until her mother did something about it.

Mrs. Watson undid her seat belt after she parked the car and slapped her daughter

hard across the face.

"Get out!"

Emme was too numb to fight back. She didn't want to go in the hospital, but she knew

Drake would be very angry at her Miss Priss-atude if she purposely skipped her

chemotherapy treatment.

She covered her gasping mouth as her mother just drove away.

"Mommy."

Emme closed her eyes in the parking lot and took three deep breaths. She would

visualize her and Drake going on that long drive like he promised they would and he

would put his hands through her long blonde hair as they would ignore their picnic lunch

at their private destination and make love in the tall grass instead.

**Later **

Emme was never so embarrassed. She had to lie and say her mother wasn't feeling

well to all the staff. She didn't know if they believed her or not. If the chemo wasn't

doing her stomach in then it was her mother's drinking problem.

"Hello, are you Miss Emme?" asked a thirty-nine year old woman with dark hair pulled

back into a bun and brown eyes.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"I'm Mrs. Martinez, but you can call me Maria. I'll be taking you home now."

"If you excuse me, Maria, I have to use the bathroom."

"Of course, dear."

There was a wonderful bathroom just outside of what she and Drake referred to as

"cancer central" by the phone booth, which only contained one stall. She locked the

door. Her sobs interrupted by her need to throw up.

Her cell phone almost falling into her vomit, she caught it in time.

With shaky hands she called Drake's number.

"hey..e-emme?"

"Did I wake you, Drake? I'm sorry." She flushed the toilet.

He rubbed his eyes and concentrated on sitting up on the sofa in his room.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything—there's a strange woman named Mrs. Martinez who came to the hospital

to take me home."

"Where's your mother?"

"At home probably drunk up to her eyeballs. We had a fight in the car this morning. Just

because I asked her if we could go to the Crown Room for tea afterwards…she

slapped me across the face. Then she told me to get out of the car and drove off.

Thankfully, we were already at the hospital."

"Oh, Emme…I'm really sorry."

"Well, I don't want to keep Mrs. Martinez waiting. It's not her fault that my mother's a

bitch. Will you call me at seven?"

"Sure," Drake swallowed, "Emme---"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

_I said it._

_I meant it._

She closed her eyes as she put her head against the bathroom door and smiled. He

had no idea on what those words meant to her.

"Drake, I love you too."


	30. Cuddle Party

**Chapter 30**

**Cuddle Party**

…**a few days later**

Drake Parker was never one to feel guilty for long, but it was only the people closest to

him in his life that gave him any kind of credit regarding the "right thing". He and Emme

decided not to attend the official Teen Cancer Support Group anymore. Emme

wondered especially with her sketchy history there if people would consider them

selfish. Drake told her not to worry about it. She had enough on her plate to worry about

without having to wonder if other young cancer patients understood their need to want

to spend time together. It wasn't Clipboard Ted that Drake called. He made promises

that he intended to keep to his literally little friend Herbie Hancock. Who seemed the

most supportive of anyone in the truest heartfelt way regarding him and Emme getting

together. He still would help Herbie pick out a guitar and teach him out of play it too. But

that kid had so many problems Drake wondered if that was just not a fantasy that his

parents were encouraging to take his mind off his medical conditions? However, you

needed to experience the good things in life and that's what Drake had planned for

tonight. He and Emme were going to spend the night together and because Josh

offered to drive him over only due to the fact that he had to come in the kitchen to get a

can of Mountain Fizz at the same time Drake was on the phone and reheating the worst

chicken broth he ever tasted in the microwave in his Star 99 mug. And Drake was

going to _let_ Josh drive him because he's been good lately with respecting his personal

space and not asking one question about his shaved head.

"Drake?"

"This broth is gross." He poured his cup down the drain.

"Did you eat today?"

"Yes, 'Mom'. What were you going to ask me?"

"How's Emme—the situation with her Mom and all?"

"How do you think she's feeling?" Drake kept his voice even-toned

"I didn't mean it the way that it sounded."

"Don't worry about it. I have to get my overnight bag."

Drake headed upstairs with a brown paper lunch bag that contained his

pharmaceuticals and supplements.

With Walter working late tonight due to the KDJY newscast being on an hour later than

usual due to some red carpet event and Audrey having to attend Megan's band recital.

Why else was she taking those oboe lessons?

It certainly looked like Drake was going to get away with his and Emme's sleepover.

But his brother better be up and ready to leave the lavish Watson property at ten o'clock

in the morning sharp. If they were going to get going before Audrey and Megan came

back then Josh figured he'd better start up Drake's car.

Josh was quite proud of his brother for following his true heart.

It was about damn time.

Emme sat in the study. It was like a miniature library with books along the dark walls

and the furniture with thick almost masculine lines to it. She normally hated this room,

but she felt it was the _only_ place in this vast house where she could have peace and

quiet. Drake would be arriving soon and that made her body calm down a bit. The only

way she could keep her hands steady was to keep them around the scalloped white

with gold trim teacup.

Mrs. Martinez probably thought she ran away. Emme wanted to care, but couldn't. Her

cell phone vibrated against her body waking up her spirit.

"Hey…"

"Hi, Drake."

"Did your Mother change the pass code?"

Emme doubted it. That would have required effort.

"No. Why?"

"Josh can't get the gate to open."

"I can do it from the security panel."

She sounded so cut off when she had so recently come alive.

When Emme saw Drake she gave him the biggest hug she could muster. It wasn't a

"good day" in terms of her cancer, but it was the first time that something else weighed

on her mind. Her hands going up and down his back, which soothed the both of them.

"I'm so glad that you're here, Drake."

"So am I, Emme."

She latched on to his hand tight as she led him to her bedroom. On the surface it might

have seemed like this night was all about connecting their bodies as one, but when

Emme suggested to Drake that he come over for a "cuddle party" he knew it had

nothing to do sex, nor was he expecting it.

Emme needed to be held and comforted, He needed those things too, but this was her

night.

"Well, Don Juanoma, put your jammies on and I'll be right back." She lightly pushed him

towards her bathroom. Her smile was natural and Drake liked seeing it.

Drake noticed the long white tapered candles on each end table along with a book of

matches from the Hotel Del Coronado before he changed into his "jammies" he took

the liberty of lighting the candles. He'd have put on her CD player, but he never wanted

to listen to the Backstreet Boys on purpose let alone on a night like this.

Emme thought she'd never get back upstairs. Mrs. Martinez was trying to make her eat

toast and broth. She didn't want any. All she wanted to do was bring up two bottles of

juice and to get then slip into a guest room to change into her pajamas.

She suddenly hated how she looked. It wasn't what Drake's previous girlfriend's would

have worn to bed, that was for certain. The nicest nightgown she had didn't come from

a store expensive or otherwise. Her aunt from Seattle made it. It was made of white

cotton with little pink flowers sewn on. It hit her just below the knee. It screamed goody-

goody. Drake would find her positively horrifying that she wrapped herself in her pink

robe that she had on her desk chair.

"Thanks for lighting the candles."

"You're welcome." She handed him a bottle of apricot juice.

"You look nice, Drake." It was just a blue t-shirt and his gray and black checkered

sleeping pants.

He smiled.

"Why the robe, Miss Priss?"

"I look dorky in this nightgown. I don't want you to see after all."

"Well," Drake took a healthy drink of the juice before putting the bottle on her desk,

"You're forgetting one thing."

"What's that?"

He walked towards her and without any words untied her robe.

"You're beautiful."

Emme decided to let the robe fall off her shoulders.

"Thank you. I hope you're not a cover hog, Drake."

"I guess that's for me to know and you to find out."

For about ten minutes it was a wonderful snog and snuggle fest, but Drake knew when

they stopped for air and she had time to reflect with her head on his shoulder that the air

would turn.

Emme tried to keep the tears in. She didn't want to ruin their cuddle party.

She wanted to experience touching more body parts. Emme wanted to be the brave

little soldier but couldn't contain herself.

"I-I'm s-sorry, D-rake." She sniffed.

He kissed her head, "I keep telling you, you never have to say you are sorry."

"I know it sounds foolish to you."

"You're jumping to conclusions again."

"I miss going out with my mom. I was going to say you probably think it's foolish to go to

a ritzy hotel just for a cup of tea. The last time we were there my mother had a coffee

and she said you were a nice boy."

"I wouldn't say that's foolish."

"I know our shopping trips could probably feed a small third world country and I would

throw away everything in this house that's not a necessity, if I could have my mom back.

I had girlfriends that I pushed away, but my mom was always my best friend."

"I'll be your best friend."

Emme kissed Drake on the chest.

"Thank you. My mom is my best girlfriend. We did everything together and Drake you

have to promise me that if I don't make it----"

"Hey! Don't you dare, Miss Priss. Don't you dare say that."

"We have both be realistic we have cancer. May I finish?"

"Go ahead."

"Promise me that you'll make sure my mom gets help."

What could he say to that?

"I promise. But you'll be here to help with that too. You will beat your cancer. We both

will."

Emme was too much of a realist, but she was also a romantic at heart and appreciated

that Drake was trying to make her feel better about the situation.

"I just want you to know that the woman you met and talked to in the beginning was

close to who the real Beverly Watson is. Her drinking was under control, but I was a fool

to think it could actually be contained. My mother never hit before me except a little tap

on my hands to not touch the hot stove. Would it bother you if I checked up on her? I

need to know that she's somewhat okay."

"No, it wouldn't bother me."

"I'm the one that has cancer and I have to check on my mother. Life is not fair."

Drake offered to go with her; he'd stay in the shadows so Mrs. Watson wouldn't see

him. But Emme said she had to do this herself.

Emme walked down the already long hall to get to her mother's room. Her steps were

quiet and deliberate. There was no sign of Mrs. Watson in the Californian King sized

bed although the bed linens were obviously unchanged and the smell of the liquor was

enough to make Emme's stomach turn.

She noticed two empty wine bottles on top of the dresser. She really wanted to go over

there and smash them all over the floor in little pieces. Emme kept on walking and she

put out her hand to open her bathroom door.

The room was empty. The bathroom counter was a mess. Tops were off cosmetic

cream jars, the tub was filled with water, and the toilet needed a flush.

"Mommy."

Emme kept walking past the bathtub and to the small spa area where her mother was

found in the Jacuzzi with the jets turned off fully clothed drinking out of a whiskey bottle.

She could've easily turned her body around and quietly left without her presence being

felt, but Emme couldn't back down this was her mother.

A woman she loved very much.

"Mom, let me help you out of there."

"d-d-d-d-on't y-you t-t-tou-ch m-me."

"You're going to get sick. I'll get Mrs. Martinez she really is your babysitter."

"w-w-h-ore."

Emme blinked her blue eyes hoping that if that cruel word had to be said it was about

Mrs. Martinez and not her own daughter. Not the mother and daughter team who

watched television in bed together and liked to eat ice-cream out of one big bowl.

This was not Beverly Watson. This was a shell of a former being.

Drake didn't say a word when Emme finally returned twelve minutes later. She kicked

off her slippers and went back to placing her head on his chest.

"I-I love you, Drake."

"I love you too, Emme. What happened?"

"My mother called me a whore."

Which was ironic considering Emme just had her first kiss not too long ago when she

went to the Premiere with Drake. Drake Parker was and would be her first everything.

"My G---"

"I don't want you to hate my mom, okay? I told you before that's not Beverly Watson, it's

not…it's n-not."

She spent the better part of the evening sobbing into her boyfriend's chest until she fell

asleep.

Audrey was convinced that Drake had Josh drive him somewhere. Probably to Emme's

house, but she was too tired to go upstairs and see if he was upstairs in bed. It was one

o'clock in the morning when she felt Walter beside her.

"Walter…"

"Did I wake you, honey?"

"No," She rested her head on her husband's chest, "I owe you a big apology."

That was something else that she didn't like to do.

"Audrey---"

"No, let me finish. I should be happy that Drake is _finally_ confiding in you. I see Drake's

girlfriend Emme's family falling apart and I don't want that to happen to our family."

"It's okay."

"It's not easy being a mother and letting Drake fly away into adulthood was always

going to be something that would have been very difficult for me to do—the cancer just

makes it harder to do."

"I know. And he's not shutting you out. He just needs us for different things."

"I'm very relieved that he trusts you. Just let him know that if he wants to talk about

whatever it is with me---I won't judge."

Drake would never want to talk to Audrey about this subject for all of the coffee in

Colombia.

"Will do," he kissed his wife on the head, "Goodnight, Audrey, I love you."

"Night, Walter. I love you, too." With contented mind Audrey Parker-Nichols fell asleep in

her husband's safe arms.


	31. Summer Sun

**Chapter 31 **

**Summer Sun **

**…first day of summer**

There used to be a time when Drake Parker anticipated summer. It meant no school

for three months. No worries about being sent to remedial English by Teacher 'nazi'

Mrs. Hafer, no comparing his answers to what his more academic minded brother

was writing in his notebook, and no having to get up at seven in the morning.

Rock stars did not stop until they were done rockin' the town inside out and they

never did their homework assignments.

It was a win-win. But that was pre-cancer, as most everything seemed to be in Drake

Parker's life these days.

He did the assignments that Josh brought home and despite some teacher's giving

him sympathy grades. Would Drake have ever received a B in history? Drake liked

to text message on his cell phone in Mr. Calvert's class. Despite the

good-naturedness of some of the Belleview High faculty, Drake in a rare state (it had

to be the drugs) almost wanted to go to Mrs. Hafer's house and thank in her person

for the C on his report card. Drake Parker actually made it to the twelfth grade and

really didn't care one way or the other about it. He felt like he had been on summer

vacation for the past few months.

A bad what could go wrong, would go wrong summer vacation, where Dad wouldn't

ask for directions and Mom would get angry at him wanting to stop every five miles to

use the rest room in a properly cleaned and sanitized rest area. Where Megan would

be pulling pranks on them in the family Honda. Where Josh would want to play

license plate bingo with the couldn't be bothered Drake. Then there was Emme

Jessica Watson the bright spot. (Well not in the beginning) The person you meet on

your vacation that suddenly makes it alive and interesting. The person that fate blows

its cruel whistle to signal that you have to part company with because they were from

Nebraska and they had to leave to go back home.

Thankfully, Emme's home and his were in the same city. They didn't have to worry

about saying their goodbye's promising to be pen pals or e-pals only to get a few

bits of correspondence before they become a "Whatever happened to?" memory.

Emme was here and apart from their bodies playing mean tricks on them and her

mother's alcoholism life was giving them a pretty good turn. She was spending the

afternoon at his house playing board games.

"Drake!" Emme snatched the dice out of his hand

"Hey!"

"No fair, you cheated. You rolled a five not a six. Just because I have cancer doesn't

mean I'm blind too."

She stuck out her tongue at him. It made him smile.

"I just wanted to see if you were paying attention, Miss Priss."

Drake would have been where he was last year, at the beach. Flirting it up with all the

bikini clad girls and leaving the place with more phone numbers and email

addresses than his brother had magic tricks. Looking into Emme's blue eyes the

only thing that could've made this day perfect would be if they were on the beach,

holding hands for a midnight stroll until they found a private place to make out in.

He didn't see why they couldn't go. If there was one thing Drake hated about cancer

was that it was so hit and miss. One day you felt good enough to eat all the food on

your plate and as long you didn't wear yourself out you could pretty much do what you

always did. Then there were days where you thought you wouldn't stop puking or

wishing the diarrhea would stop or you couldn't make it up a simple flight of stairs

because your legs wouldn't cooperate. The reason they were here playing board

games was because Emme had a slight bit of the sniffles but thankfully showed no

signs of a fever and Audrey thought it'd be best if they stayed inside. Had she known

this she'd have suggested that Drake go to her house instead. Audrey asked about

her mother and all Emme could say was the truth, "She won't stop drinking."

Audrey thought about going over there and to kick some sense into her new and now

pushed away (not by her choice) friend.

Her daughter needed her, but Drake in his unspoken not-wanting-to-be-

acknowledged-for-it way tried to not only be Emme's boyfriend, but tried to take the

place of her mother as well.

Drake told not one soul this he just kept it as his private thought.

If there was a God and only one of them could be spared. He wanted Emme to be

saved. He didn't care if it was the "right" thought to have or the gentlemanly thing.

Miss Priss deserved that chance to beat this disease and have her life back.

"Hmm, let me pick a card."

"You didn't land on a pick a card space."

Drake picked up a purple card and stuck out his tongue.

"What's the best way to shut your girlfriend up?"

The only way Drake Parker knew how.

"That's not what it says on the card," Emme laughed, "But have I told you that you are

an excellent kisser, Mr. Parker?"

Hundreds of girls did, but only one opinion mattered.

"I know. I have a way about me."

"Drake?"

"Yeah?"

"May I have a refill on the cranberry juice?"

"Of course. I don't know how you can drink it without 7-Up or Sprite mixed in. It's too

tart," Drake took the glass from her, "But you know I'm tangy."

"My gosh, you even wink sexy."

"I know, my dear, like I said I have that way about me."

Emme felt so good when she was around Drake that she literally wanted to kick

herself for putting that wall up with him. She didn't care, as mean as it was, about the

friends she let slip away—but if she never had the opportunity to know and love

Drake that would have been such a waste. Sometimes at night when she couldn't

sleep she made a bargain with the angels. If only one of them could survive their

cancer, she wanted it to be Drake.

Don Juanoma deserved that chance to beat this disease and have his life back.

"I'm back. Did you miss me?" Drake came back with one refill of cranberry juice for

Emme and a bottle of apple juice for himself. His Mother was in the kitchen cutting

out coupons and he didn't want to piss her off if he dare grabbed a can of Mocha

Cola out of the fridge.

"I did." Another kiss, this one a quick one on the cheek.

"Drake, would you be mad if I said I don't want to play this game anymore?"

"Not at all. What do you want to do?"

"I'd like to just cuddle up on the sofa and watch TV until Mrs. Martinez picks me up. If

that's okay?"

Damn Mom.

Drake stood up and extended his hand to help her up.

"It most certainly is."

_Thank you, Emme, for making me realize_

_that I could love._

_Author's Note: I finally did a written timeline and realized that give or take only 98 _

_days __passed in 30 chapters. I'm sure there are some topics that I'm spending too _

_much on __and some not enough. But I do have a clear vision for where I want this _

_story to go. _

_Thanks to everyone especially to the girls on the list Allie, Midie, and Jillie. I _

_certainly __don't want this story to end, but I do have a clear point to when that is _

_going __to happen. _

_I'm sure others could've told this tale in four long chapters (one for each season), _

_but __with the way I do long multi chaptered stories. I didn't want to insult the serious _

_subject __matter by not treating this topic with care. I hope the storyline regarding _

_Mrs. __Watson __does not seem like a tacky soap opera device there is a reason for it _

_and __not just an excuse to __write unnecessary drama. All will be revealed in the _

_ending. _

_Which I have to admit, I __don't think many will like, but it will be my opinion on how _

_this __cancer and relationship __with Emme affected Drake Parker. Thanks to _

_everyone who __is reading this story and __leaving your honest reviews it means a lot _

_to me._

_P.S. I didn't realize there was a celebrity named Emma Watson. Had I known that _

_I'd __have picked a different character name._


	32. A Spot

**Chapter 32**

**A Spot..**

…**during the midst of summer**

"You have absolutely no heart! I hate you!" Emme slammed down the telephone

in her room where she was taken aback when she realized Drake was in the

room.

"Drake," she continued on breathlessly, "Where did you come from?"

"My mother. Who was that you were arguing with?"

"My conscious got the better of me and I thought calling my brother Craig would

be a good idea, but he doesn't care about Mommy." Emme wouldn't cry, not

tonight but she did need a hug from her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry that he's a jerk."

"He's just like—" She trailed her words off.

It might have been the diagnosis of her daughter having cancer that caused Mrs.

Watson to hit the bottle, but it wasn't the reason. And Emme didn't want to talk

about such things.

"I know it's not much, but I feel up to driving. I can't believe my Mom didn't fight

me on it."

It must have been some independent fall-out from his speech when he revealed

his shaved head to the family.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. And not only that, but I need you to be a little bit more dressed up. I put

my special clothes in your brother's bathroom—I'll see you in a bit."

He kissed her nose.

"Drake, you are full of surprises."

"I know."

Emme wasn't going to check on her mother doing that almost ruined their cuddle

party and truth be told Emme Watson didn't need to go somewhere with Drake,

just snuggling into him on a sofa or lying next to him in bed twisting their legs and

arms into one was all that she needed.

Even though he could give good advice to Emme to show her bald head with

pride and wear a headscarf if you are only cold or being fashionable Drake was

trying, but couldn't get used to his shaved head. He was starting to look like a

military cadet and his hair stubble seemed to be coming in a darker color. He

missed his hair and had to put his knit cap back on. Drake didn't regret shaving

it off; it was all going to fall out eventually. Plus, he did it for Emme so she'd feel

more at ease after she bravely told him in during the heat of their kisses to take

off her headscarf. It was all about solidarity.

Audrey recently purchased for him a dark mint green button down shirt it was the

perfect color of a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. It went nice with his

black blazer.

Drake heard a quiet knock on the door.

"You can come in, Emme."

She looked beautiful in dark bubblegum pink cashmere twin set and a pleated

above the knee black skirt.

"You look nice, Drake." She went over to kiss him on the lips and straighten his

collar.

"So do you." Her legs looked very appealing in those tights.

"Do you notice anything?"

"Uh-oh. Am I going to be in the doghouse if I guess wrong?"

Emme laughed.

"No, silly. Look," She held up her Burberry Bluebell check shopper tote bag.

"I think the chemo has eaten my brain cells."

"I used my dark purple scarf as a decoration. Aren't you proud of me for finding

creative uses?"

"Yes," Drake felt guilty about keeping his hat on when he wasn't particularly

cold—and well fashionable—wasn't he always? "I am proud of you. Actually, I'd

like you to put your hand in my pocket."

"Drake! I thought that comes after the date."

"In my outside jacket pocket…you have a dirty mind, Miss Priss."

Emme slipped her hand inside Drake's pocket and pulled out a fake satin pink

blindfold.

"You can't see where I'm driving you to." He took the blindfold gently out of her

hands and carefully put it over her eyes.

He couldn't resist sneaking in a kiss.

Drake held Emme's hand escorting her out of her house and into his car

relishing in the fact that no one not even his nosy brother knew about this.

"What radio station do you want to listen to?" Drake asked once they got in the

car.

"You make fun of my taste in music. You say I jump to conclusions, Don

Juanoma, but you just assumed all I listened to was the Backstreet Boys and

Britney Spears."

"Touche."

"Besides, I don't need the radio on," She guided her hand to his knee, "Do you

get the picture, Drake?"

"Emme Jessica Watson, I can't figure you out."

"Good."

She stuck out her tongue at him.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

_It feels right to say it, just like I always knew._

Drake wanted this night to be special and actually remembered to get out of the

car first so he could open the door for her.

Emme knew exactly where she was but decided to let the moment play out.

Drake held her hands as they stood by his car in the parking lot. A parking lot

that was full of more expensive and nicer looking cars than a vintage Pontiac.

But Drake would rather be unconventional than drive an over-the-top-who

needed-it unless they were invading a small country Hummer.

He put his hands on her shoulders and decided to kiss her before taking off her

blindfold.

"Surprise…"

"Drake," Emme was correct. She blinked to prevent herself from crying tears of

joy, "I can't believe you did this.

He put his hand on his hip for her to slip her arm into,

"Emme Jessica Watson would you join me for a spot of tea?" He did his best

posh British accent.

"I would love to."

She was in a state of bewildered shock that Drake surprised her with a trip to the

Crown Room in the Hotel Del Coronado, which was definitely not a Drake Parker

kind of place.

"Drake, I can't believe you----"

"Ssh. I did."

She was pop. He was rock and roll. But those labels didn't matter.

Emme was glad they got seated quickly as her legs were ready to give out. Not

because of her cancer, but of her needing to soak all of this into her brain like a

sponge.

"Drake, you didn't have to do this."

But she loved him for it. How many guys out there would listen to the sobs of a

daughter who only wanted to carry on the mother-daughter tradition of having tea

together? How many guys would even have been bothered to care?

"I wanted to," he held her hand and kissed it, "I know you'd rather be doing this

with your mom, but I hope I'll do in a pinch."

Drake looked at the menu. This place was ridiculously expensive just like those

boutiques that charged half a teacher's salary for a purse. But for Emme he

could afford the two cups of tea and dessert to go with it.

She was worth it. That smile of gratitude on her face was thanks enough.

"You'll do just fine." Emme replied smiling from ear to ear cupping her hand in his

as they waited for the waiter to come by and take their orders.

To Drake that smile was worth the cost of all the tea in China.


	33. Sildenafil Citrate

**Chapter 33**

**Sildenafil Citrate**

…**on the brink of autumn**

Josh Nichols was excited he was going to be a high school senior! Next year at this

time he would be a freshman in college. He didn't know where he wanted to take his

post-high school studies. But he was fairly certain that he wanted to stay close to San

Diego. Mindy was talking about Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. He hoped that distance

wouldn't be a problem. Josh was on the sofa in his bedroom watching his DVD of

Beloved and eating a bowl of salt-free, plain popcorn and drinking a can of diet Mocha

Cola. Mindy was supposed to be here with him tonight. But because she got a B plus

on her last English composition and not her usual A plus the strict and anal retentive

Crenshaw's forbid her to go out until she redid her paper to her usual standards of

academic excellence.

At least he had Oprah.

But Josh hated being alone. He almost thought of calling up the Premiere to ask Helen

if he could come into work tonight even if it was his night off.

For a while now it was getting back to how it used to be. Josh was home alone at night

like a "good little boy" and Drake who still had cancer was out of the house and with a

girl.

But at least that girl was Emme. She was good for her brother. He might have helped

her tear down that massive protective wall of hers, but she made him see that dating

one person could be a wonderful and rewarding experience.

Josh hoped that both her and Drake would be cancer free by the time their respective

second-look surgeries came around. Josh's cell phone rang ruining his "I want to be on

the screen" with Oprah fantasy.

Maybe, it was Drake and he got sick and _needed him_ to pick him up so Josh muted

the TV and hoped that he wasn't being selfish.

"Hi, what'cha doin'?"

"Hi, Mindy. Did you finish your paper?"

"No. My parents went to bed early so I thought I'd come downstairs and call you before I

finished my homework."

"I'm glad you did. I was just sitting here watching Oprah."

Mindy laughed there weren't many seventeen year old boys out there that admired and

had a small crush on Oprah Winfrey.

"You're cute, Josh. I wanted to ask you do you have any of those boxes of tiny stars left, I

want to make a custom border for my essay."

"I think I gave the last box to Drake."

What on Earth did Drake Parker need with a box of little stars?

"Why?"

"Because he wanted to put them on his guitar. I think there are still some left." Josh went

to Drake's dresser and opened the bottom drawer.

"Well, I wouldn't want to take all of his stars."

That was Mindy's way of saying she was concerned about Drake's welfare. She was

quite impressed that he was keeping a girlfriend for longer than a month.

Mindy would never say anything, as she never wanted Josh to be angry with her. But

maybe that cancer had to happen so that Drake Parker would grow up.

"I'll put some in a baggie for you---what?" Josh dropped the box of stars and put the box

of guitar picks back to where it was before he moved it.

Then he closed the dresser drawer.

"What, what?"

"Um, Mindy. I need to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Josh, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Love you."

"Love you too, Bye."

Why was he dismissing her all of a sudden?

Holy shit. How long was that other box there in the bottom of his drawer? If it was pre-

cancer why would Drake even need it other than to just experiment to see what would

happen? If this was a new thing why didn't he come to him? Josh knew and was trying

to understand one of Drake's basic needs which was that he have his privacy and that

not everything was going to be an open book.

Wait—was that the reason why he and Dad seemed extra chummy

lately? Josh's heart was in his throat when he heard footsteps outside the door. He ran

back to the couch and turned the mute off.

"Hey." Drake said

Josh decided to turn the TV and DVD player off.

"What's up, Drake?"

Damn it.

That was a serious bad choice of words that Josh felt his cheeks flush into a slight rosy

color.

"Nothing."

"You're home early." Josh looked at his watch.

"Emme has an appointment tomorrow."

Drake took off his jean jacket and threw it on the floor.

"Oh."

"I'm too tired to get undressed." Drake slightly moaned as he took off his sneakers.

"Drake…"

"What?" He climbed up to his bed and went into his soft covers.

"Um, nevermind. Goodnight, brother."

"Night, Josh."

Josh took this as an obvious sign to leave Drake alone. It was probably difficult enough

that he had to confide in Dad to get what was in his dresser drawer in the first place.

And it was wonderful seeing Drake finally accept Walter as his true father.

It was none of his business after all and for once Josh Nichols was going to drop from

pursuing the matter.


	34. Chocolate Tears

**Chapter 34**

**Chocolate Tears**

…**a Saturday in October**

The sound of the thunder stopped Emme in the middle of the stairwell. It made her heart

skip a beat and she thought of heading back upstairs in the security of her bed with her

boyfriend's arms wrapped around her. She wanted to bring up some late night snacks

they both needed to keep their strength up. The lightening flashes that seemed to come

though the windows brought back that frightened three-year-old feeling when she would

run to her Mother's room for comfort. If it was just rain she could've handled it. Maybe, it

was because the real terror was inside this house. It had nothing to do with the outside.

There was a loud krinkly noise coming from the kitchen. It sounded like pieces of tin foil

being torn off from its box.

All her mind saw were segments as if trying to protect her from seeing the whole image.

A hand with a twenty-five karat diamond on the ring finger clawing into the grocery store

cake and pressed into a mouth. Trying to sustain the body as the figure was hunched

into a corner. Emme's stomach turned over when a big hunk of cake fell to the floor and

the round plastic tray that the cake was on was licked clean.

It was like a mentally retarded child or a person of similar incompetence was in the

room and not the woman who got straight marks at the Simply Charming school back in

the day when models like Cheryl Tiegs were not thin as wafer cookies and the natural

look was "in". Not the woman who knew basic French and tried to teach her non-

interested daughter who would rather roll around the grounds. Getting grass stains on

her frilly-white party dress and then getting a strawberry scented bubble bath

afterwards.

Their laughter making them bond.

When she felt two hands on her shoulders she silently gasped, as she was terrified of

making a sound.

Mrs. Martinez shooed her along. Emme didn't need to see anymore. She took what

strength she had to run up the stairs. She didn't go inside her bedroom once she got

there she just slid down to the floor. The tears were not coming.

He sat next to her ten minutes later when his worries about where she was couldn't

keep him lying in bed without her any longer.

"Emme," He knew this had to be about Mrs. Watson, "What happened?"

Emme stood up unable to look her boyfriend in the eyes. Drake had the most beautiful

eyes. That she just couldn't look into them not when she was going to say what she had

to say.

"Drake, I don't think we should see each other anymore." She tried to stand up and turn

into her room, but he gently grabbed her arm to stop her.

He always made sure to let go after doing so.

"Where did that come from?"

He followed her back into her room.

"Relationships are supposed to happy wonderful things and every time we're together, I

have to bring you down with my family strife. It's not right. You deserve to be happy,

Drake." She started to cry. Her body needed the release.

"You're not bringing me down, Emme. I am happy in this relationship. And as far as

breaking up goes, that's just not going to happen."

He pulled her in for a tight embrace.

"But Drake, I love you so much. You don't need these burdens. You have cancer."

"So do you. I love you very much and there's no way I'm letting you run away."

"But I like I said I wanted to give you an out."

"Well, I'm giving you an in."

She pulled back to put her hands on his cheeks and went to kiss him on the lips.

"I have to get some bottled water out of my Mom's mini fridge."

"I'll walk with you. What happened?" She held onto his hand tight. He had every

opportunity to leave and he still wanted to stay?

"My Mother was on the floor in the kitchen like a dog in her usual drunken stupor eating

cake with her hands. Then she licked the round plastic tray like a dog. It was the most

disgusting thing that I've ever seen! And you still want to stay?" Emme handed him a

water bottle.

"Yes. My heart really goes out to you. My Mom told me last night that my aunt Patty was

an alcoholic. I didn't know because I was three years old when she went to rehab. And

the part that'll make you feel better is that she's been sober 1990. It's not something

anyone talked about as we sometimes keep everything inside in our family."

"I bet she had to hit rock bottom before going to rehab."

"Yeah. Mom didn't get into specifics and I didn't want to push it, as I know it was hard

for her to talk about her sister. But she wanted me to tell you that story. We're all

concerned for you and your Mom."

Emme closed the door when they got back to her bedroom.

"Tell your Mom thanks for me." They got back into bed and Emme wished that Drake

didn't have to go tomorrow morning. All of their time together seemed so fleeting.

"I will," Drake kissed Emme on the lips, "I hope that you feel somewhat better, honey."

"A little. Would you be disappointed if I just wanted to be held?"

"Never."

"You don't want that out. Do you Drake? You really want to be my boyfriend even though

the going is tough in this house?"

"Emme Jessica Watson," he kissed her shaking hands, "I'm afraid that you are stuck

with me forever."

"I'm afraid that you've got yourself a deal."

She fell asleep soon after their goodnight kisses. Her body and mind completely

exhausted.

Drake looked at the ceiling. He almost wanted to shake the sense back into Mrs.

Watson, but like his aunt Patty, they have to hit their own rock bottom to understand the

gravity of the situation. They don't want to be told that they have drinking problem. They

have to realize that they do, it was the only way Emme's mother would seek help.

It was the first time that Drake realized something. He wanted to keep blocking it out. If

he could put duct tape over the windows in his mind he would have done so.

If he could put his hand in his brain and pull out the unthinkable thought to flush it down

the toilet he would have done that also.

Drake bit on his lip to stop his own tears from forming. He kissed Emme on the head

and whispered a soft 'I love you' before falling into an uncertain sleep.

_Emme could die._


	35. If the Fates Allow Part One

**Chapter 35**

**If the Fates Allow**

**Part One**

…**Christmas Eve**

The older Drake Parker got the more that Christmas lost its magic. He stopped

believing in Santa Claus when he was eight because he found all of his presents in the

hall closet and his mother was too overly excited two days later asking if he liked what

Santa brought him? Plus, why would Santa if he had a workshop with all of the busy,

busy, busy happy elves making these things send boxes to his house with K B Toys

price stickers on them?

It was the holiday with hyped meaning. Much like Valentine's Day. If he knew he had a

chance to get laid or at least a little "almost third base" action he'd have purchased

Whitman's Samplers for all the "hot girls" of Belleview. Christmas was the same except

the family was involved. It's not like Drake didn't care about his family. It just seemed so

forced to him. Like if you didn't buy what Madison Avenue dictated that you buy you

were somehow less of a person. But that was before cancer entered his body and

before he met Emme. Now, he was sitting at his desk with his headphones on humming

along to The Pretenders version of _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_. He

wrapped one of Emme's presents with Mom's special silver and purple wrapping

paper. He liked that the candy cane shapes were purple and silver. It was different. He

was different. Josh was going to pick up Emme tomorrow so she could have Christmas

dinner with them. Because it was Christmas and Drake didn't want to fight with his

mother due to the fact that he had a chemo treatment two days ago she felt better if

Josh picked Emme up instead.

Drake knew it was difficult for her to leave her mother alone on Christmas Day, but

Drake promised they'd go back to her house as soon as they opened their presents

and had finished dinner. At the moment though the thought of a honey glazed Christmas

ham was making Drake feel woozy. Even the thought of having a small piece of turkey

was making him lose his concentration. Which was why Audrey wanted Josh to do the

driving.

Josh walked in the room and let Drake be content with listening to holiday music

(something he rarely did, unless it was a rock cover version) and wrap his gift to Emme.

"Hey," Drake turned off the radio, "I need more scotch tape."

Josh went to the end table by his bed to give Drake his tape dispenser that he

purchased at Office Max.

"Thanks."

"Don't use it all. I have to wrap Mindy's present."

"Relax, Josh. Like I live to sabotage you wrapping your Christmas presents." He

finished wrapping his gift and handed Josh the tape dispenser before his brother had a

heart attack over something so stupid.

Drake opened the drawer and took out a big purple bow with silvery curled tails and

peeled off the adhesive and stuck it proudly on the center of the box.

"I know. I just want the holidays to be perfect."

Drake briefly wondered if Mindy put out on their dates but he didn't want to completely

lose his lunch altogether.

"Make sure you pick up Emme tomorrow early."

"Drake, am I ever late for things?"

"Good."

For the first time Drake wanted to go with Dad and Josh to pick out the family

Christmas tree but he was going to be stuck inside helping Mom and Megan bake the

Christmas cookies.

He wanted the house to be spectacular for Emme. The Nichols-Parker family may not

have had the immense wealth of the Watson's, but that didn't mean they couldn't put

together a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses' display.

Drake unbent a paper clip thinking that if there were decorations on the Watson

property it would only be if Mrs. Watson got out of her drunken fog long enough to hire

someone to do it.

"Are you okay, bro?" Josh asked tripping over the obvious rolls of wrapping paper

causing Drake to crack a small smile.

His brother was quite the klutz.

"I'm fine. Are you?"

"Ha ha. What did you buy Emme?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Hmm," Drake looked at the Frosty the Snowman name tag, "It says To: Emme, From:

(which he crossed out with black pen and wrote 'With Love') Drake. It doesn't say Josh

anywhere on here."

"Do you want to know what I got Mindy?"

_Do I have to?_

"I can't stop you from telling me."

"The hardcover edition of Championship Science Fair Projects: 100 Sure-to-Win 

Experiments."

"Wow." Drake hoped that didn't sound too mean.

"Mindy will love it."

Josh also got her a set of naughty pink underwear from Victoria's Secret. That

contained a thong and push-up bra. But there was no way he was going to tell his

brother that. That'd just be giving him ammo to rib him with for the rest of his life.

"I'm sure she will."

"She didn't win all those Science Fairs for nothing."

When Josh wasn't paying attention Drake took a small box out of the top desk drawer

and got up and placed it on the computer keyboard that he was sure Josh would see

when he was done wrapping up Mindy's dork book.

"I'm going downstairs to get a glass of orange juice. Pick up a nice tree when you go

with Dad later. I want to put the angel topper on it for Emme."

Josh smiled. Emme was making such a difference in his brother's life. If only they didn't

have the burdens of their respective cancers and her drunken mother then their lives

would have been perfect. If Josh could've done the ultimate magic trick and made all

the negative forces go away he would have in a heartbeat.

"Will do, Drake."

A few minutes later Josh was looking like a lost puppy for his homemade Christmas gift

tags then he realized he left them in the printer.

"What's this?" Josh picked up the petite box and looked at the Frosty the Snowman tag.

To: Josh From: Drake

Josh smiled as he carefully opened the red wrapping paper with the computerized

green Christmas trees design.

He recognized the box.

It was a square shaped Oprah signature key chain with the light feature. Too bad Josh

had about four of these. Two he bought himself and one Mindy gave him for his

birthday, along with his first oral stimulation.

But even through his cancer Drake thought of his brother, which meant a great deal to

him. Josh couldn't help getting misty eyed as he took his tags out of the printer.

"I love you, too, Drake."

_Author's Note: To be continued… _

_I really don't want to muli part this, but there are a few major scenes coming up during _

_the Christmas umbrella that I have to make separate sections for them. A few people _

_know exactly what those scenes are. They will be coming up shortly._


	36. If the Fates Allow Part Two

**Chapter 36**

**If the Fates Allow**

**Part Two**

…**Christmas morning**

The Christmas tree was gorgeous. It was a six-foot tall green spruce and lit with those

miniature aquamarine lights. Because Nichols-Parker family was a blended unit a mix

of personalities were seen through some of their favorite ornaments. Walter's KDJY

San Diego's #1 weathercast snowman, Josh's magic hat complete with bunny,

Audrey's UCLA Bruins bear, Megan's Hallmark computer, and Drake's blue (they didn't

have red ones) Fender Stratocaster. The garland was wrapped around the tree in thin

strings of gold that seemed to have no end. The angel tree topper had long blonde hair,

blue eyes, and wore a pink dress with soft transparent wings. Drake didn't notice the

beauty of the tree until this Christmas. This holiday everything seemed to matter from

the top of the tree to the bottom, with its white tree skirt with its red and green

snowflakes design.

Even though Drake was really tired last night he stayed up for two reasons one to talk to

Emme on the telephone to wish her a Merry Christmas Eve and to be the one to put the

angel on top of the tree. After breakfast, Drake found himself where he was last night

sitting on the sofa staring at the Christmas tree with its middle class abundance of

presents around it and on the stockings hanging by the fireplace. Their names

represented in silver glitter cursive. Everything was so pretty. Tables with unlit red,

green, or white tapered candles. A ceramic Santa head that Grandma Parker made

two years before she passed away. Walter's green, blue, and red toy tricycle that

belonged to his father before him was on the table with the homemade table top 'Merry

Christmas, Mommy' ornament that Megan made in Kindergarten from a mound of

green clay.

Drake enviously watched from the living room last night the hilarious spectacle of Dad

and Josh trying to put the outside lights up as he nursed a lukewarm cup of instant

cocoa. He never cared before. Last year he remembered playing his electric guitar with

the amp up to ten so he wouldn't have to go outside and help them. Now he wished he

could've been the one to go outside to show them the proper way to unstring a pack of

lights. It certainly wasn't as difficult as they made it. It was hilarious though when Josh

fell backwards on his ass though. He wished he had a camera phone. That picture

would have definitely wound up on the internet.

Drake felt that he had to savor his holiday surroundings. This year mattered.

His thoughts interrupted as Josh swung by putting on his navy blue track jacket with the

white and blue stripes.

"I'm going to pick up Emme now."

"Thanks."

"Later." Josh closed the door.

Drake took his cell phone off the table. He didn't want to call Emme too early, but now

seemed perfect.

"Merry Christmas, Drake." Emme said in her most upbeat voice

"Merry Christmas, Emme. Josh just left the house. Are you ready?"

"Yeah. I am. I hope you like your presents."

She didn't want to ruin the moment by telling him the latest. Her and her mother used to

have the best time gathering the boxes from the attic and apart from Mr. Bartleby

putting the tree up and some other hired staff who took care of the outside of their

house, it was Emme and her mother who did the rest themselves.

Emme had to write the checks on her mother's behalf. It wasn't the money. They always

had money coming in. It wasn't her forging her mother's signature. She signed a better

Mrs. Beverly Watson then the woman who actually had the name. She forgot to give the

Christmas bonuses. Mrs. Simpson who was on the verge of quitting (but she only came

in three times a week to clean) due to Mrs. Martinez trying to take over and Mr. Bartleby

who took care of Peanut Butter Cup demanded their bonuses. Emme didn't know if

they were lying or not. She could've called the bank and asked what they were paid last

year, but then that would mean having to admit her mother was a drunk.

And Emme had her own problems. She didn't need to know what room her mother

passed out in or hearing the bilingual yelling of Mrs. Martinez when she found her

mother walking naked in the empty indoor swimming pool slurring and sickly giggling

that she thought she was in the bathtub and had to be shrinking because she couldn't

find the water faucet. And there were no phone calls from her brother or that other

heartless bastard.

She had to do all of this by her damn self.

That was Emme Jessica Watson's Christmas Eve.

(Hello. I have cancer)

(And I have a boyfriend who should've left me out to dry eons ago)

"I know I will. I hope you like yours. How bad was it?" Drake wasn't stupid, he could tell.

"Very bad. I'll tell you later. I have to finish getting dressed."

Her heart was breaking and that in turn was causing his heart to break as well.

"Okay, Miss Priss," He hoped he could at least make her laugh, "I'll see you soon. I love

you."

She played along. "I'll see you soon, Don Juanoma. I love you more."

Drake hung up the phone and placed it in his robe pocket. He needed to get dressed

himself.

Despite their obstacles this was going to be the best Christmas ever, Drake could feel

it.

_I promise you the best Christmas, Emme._

_If the fates allow._

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	37. If the Fates Allow Part Three

**Chapter 37**

**If the Fates Allow**

**Part Three**

…**Christmas afternoon**

Emme could feel the pity ooze from Drake's well-meaning parents. Everyone knew her

mother was a lush and she felt like she was on display for everyone to look at. She was

playing a general trivia game in the kitchen with Drake, Josh, and his girlfriend Mindy

Crenshaw. No one asked Mindy if she needed anything else. It was Drake's turn. He

slightly groaned when he landed on the history category. Unless the question was who

was the youngest U.S. President? He knew that was Theodore Roosevelt.

Mindy laughed when she saw the question on the card. There was no way that Drake

would get this answer.

"What is the capital of the African territory of Comoros?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope."

"I have no clue."

"It's Moroni. Which makes you a total moron." Mindy grabbed the green dice from the

center of the board.

"Hey! I think that was uncalled for." Emme raised her voice. There was something

about Mindy that she didn't like.

"I'm sorry. Drake knows that I'm just joking. It's what we do."

"Well, it's not funny." Emme got up and didn't know where to go, but she had to leave

the room.

"Mindy didn't mean anything by it." Josh added to Drake as he stood up catch up to

Emme.

"Josh, let it go."

Emme didn't get very far. She just stood by the backdoor. This house was too small to

hide in.

"That girl's a bitch." Emme said. She didn't want all of these distractions. All she

wanted was Drake and she hoped that they could open their presents in private.

"Come here." Drake put his arms around her and pulled her close.

"I don't like Mindy."

"I'm not fond of her either. But she makes Josh happy."

"She had no right to call you a moron. Just because she's an A plus suck up."

Drake kissed her on the lips,

"It's not worth getting worked up over. Do you want to go upstairs and open our

presents before dinner?"

"I'd love to Drake. I didn't want to do that in front an audience."

"Me neither." Drake held Emme's hand tight as they walked upstairs to his room.

Josh took it upon himself to buy a three-foot tall artificial tree at Smart Aid last night

and put it up while Drake was sleeping. After all, a cancer patient couldn't put up a

three-foot tree. But his heart was in the right place so Drake didn't spend too much

time being angry over it. The tree came with a set of miniature clear lights and a silver

star topper.

It did look nice in a kitschy sort of way.

"Okay, for the lady…" Drake handed Emme the box he was working on yesterday

when Josh interrupted him.

"Oh, Drake this is so pretty. It's almost too pretty to open." It was at that moment that it

hit her. For the first time in sixteen years there were no presents from her mother. She

took off the bow and placed it on her lavender v-neck sweater. With out of nervousness

shaking hands she undid the purple and silver wrapping paper to reveal a turquoise

box.

"Well…"

"Drake," He helped her open the box, "This is very nice. Would you?" She handed it to

him.

"Of course."

She had to get up to see the results in the mirror.

It was a white cloche cap that resembled what the Flappers in the 1920's wore.

"This is so beautiful. I love the little flower design. Thank you." Emme hugged him and

kissed him on the lips.

"There's more, Emme."

"Drake---"

"Ssh…"

She sat back on the sofa as he took a box that was wrapped in holly and ivy wrapping

paper.

"Another gift for you."

The reason why Josh got an Oprah key chain, Walter a box of golf tees plus cap,

Audrey a hardbound updated edition of the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook,

and Megan some recordable CD-ROMS was because of what was in the black and

white box from Kay jewelers.

It was a 10-karat white gold band ring with an amethyst heart and centered in

diamonds. He used the money he made last year from his paying gigs.

"Drake! Oh, Drake….this is so beautiful." Emme let all the emotions of the day come

out in her tears.

"I hope I got the right size."

She put it on her right index finger.

"I love it! And I love you! Thank you so much." She hugged him tightly before lavishing

him with kiss upon delectable kiss that she almost forgot to give him his presents.

"You're very welcome and you know I love you. Your snowflake pin is crooked." He

fixed it on her ribbed black turtleneck.

"Okay, now it's your turn. I hid it in your closet. So stay there and close your eyes."

Drake laughed. It was so wonderful to see Emme be happy and forget her home

problems for a while that he obliged.

"You can open them now, Drake." Emme said as she placed his hands on the bag

handles.

"Tiffany's?" he raised a curious that really wasn't necessary eyebrow.

"That's just the bag. The store I ordered this from didn't have the bags with the

handles—open it."

Drake let out a big laugh. Emme Jessica Watson was something else.

"You bought me an easy bake oven!"

"Yeah, we can bake a cake later. And this time it'll be fresh, like me." She stuck out her

tongue.

"I give my girl my heart she buys me an easy bake oven. Thank you, Sweetie."

He kissed her on the lips.

"And that big brown envelope is for you too."

"These look like legal documents?" A glossy picture of the brown Arabian horse fell on

his lap.

"Yeah, you don't have to read it all. I want you to have peanut butter cup."

"Where am I going to keep a horse?"

He loved and was confused by the gesture at the same time.

"My house, silly."

"Emme, he's your horse. I hope you aren't thinking you aren't going to make it and

you're giv---"

"Who's jumping to conclusions now? I just want you to have the horse. Have you ever

gone horseback riding? I can teach you."

She wanted to get the happiness of the room back. Emme didn't mean to imply to

Drake that she was giving up on life. She just wanted him to have Peanut Butter Cup

because he was a part of her.

"I did twice in summer camp," He hugged her, "I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions."

"It's okay. I just wanted you to have my horse because he's a part of me. I'm not going

anywhere Drake."

"Is that a promise?" He held her hands and looked at her with his big hopeful brown

eyes

"You bet it is."

They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed missing the catcalls from

below that dinner was ready.

"Merry Christmas, baby." Drake caressed her cheek

Josh banged on the door a little miffed that he had to come up here and get them

because they were probably too busy making out to hear Audrey's calling.

"Drake! Emme! Dinner is ready!" Josh said through the closed door

"Merry Christmas, darling." Emme replied

She was going to beat this disease. She was and it was all going to be because of her

boyfriend.

Drake and Emme held hands in the tight "for keeps" way once more as they went

downstairs with happy smiles and content hearts to join everyone for Christmas dinner.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_

_And a credit to Midie for the paraphrase of the John Cusack line _

"_I gave my girlfriend my heart, she gives me a ----"_

_of course, at this time the title of the film escapes me._


	38. If the Fates Allow Part Four

**Chapter 38**

**If the Fates Allow**

**Part Four**

…**back at Emme's house**

Emme felt better knowing that her mother was asleep. The tired look on Mrs.

Martinez' face told her that something happened before Mrs. Watson passed out

and at that moment Emme didn't want to know. She held Drake's hand as he held

the Tiffany's shopping bag. Emme wanted him to bring the easy bake oven. He was

confused when they didn't go to her room but continued on the main floor.

"Where are we going?"

"Ssh. You'll see."

Emme was taking Drake to the exercise room that down a small flight of stairs from

the breakfast nook. It almost looked exactly like the boy's weight room at Belleview.

There was a stand with free weights on it against the wall, a set of 'His' and 'Her'

Nordic Tracks, a stationary bike, and every other piece of equipment that a gym

had. Drake couldn't help but notice how dated some of the pieces seemed.

"You have an exercise room?"

"Yeah. Someday, I'll give you the proper tour." The most important part of this room

was the little makeshift office in the back that contained a small but able to fit two

people bed. It looked rather simple with its white sheets and pillows and standard

frame. Like it used to belong to a servant.

"This is nice."

"Yeah. I'll plug in the oven. Do you want to sit on the bed?"

Was Emme suggesting that they do it? Really? Was Drake Parker suffering from

delusions now?

"Are there candles?" Drake asked

"As a matter a fact, Don Juanoma, they're in that desk drawer. Matches too." She

stuck out her tongue.

"What was this room before it was a gym and office?"

"Servants quarters."

"I knew it."

"But they weren't our servants."

Emme went about stirring the cake in the small pan. There was just something about

an easy bake oven. It might have seemed outdated and sexist but she really wanted

to cook a real meal for Drake. He definitely was a meat and potatoes kind of guy.

She knew how to make homemade apple tarts. Her mother taught her how when

she was seven years old. Emme tried not to think of her mother. Not now. Not when

she wanted this night to be perfect. There was a little radio on the table and she

turned it to a light instrumental station.

She put the cake in the oven and started to walk over to Drake who just finished

lighting the two pink tapered candles.

"Wait a second," Emme dimmed the lights and went back over to her boyfriend, "I

want you to know I had a great time today."

She kissed him on the lips.

"So did I."

Their kisses intensified as they made their way to the bed. Emme started to

unbutton Drake's blue and red striped shirt, "I want you to make love to me."

Never was she so forthright when it came to matters of the heart whereas Drake

needed to stop for a moment. Because the 'old Drake' would have done it with a

dime room whore, Emme was the most special and beautiful woman he has ever

known that he wanted to make sure that she was certain.

"Are you sure?"

"Did I stutter?"

Isn't this why Drake and Walter bonded not so long ago? Because he wanted to be

in this very moment with Emme, right? He loved her more than himself. She made

him see the whole picture. She made him want to fight for something. It wasn't quick

and easy as some cheerleader offering blowjobs in the boy's locker room. This

meant something. It was more than sex, but he was frightened. Frightened that he

might still have some of the side effects that make sex difficult, painful, and a chore.

Drake wanted this night to be perfect. He wanted the kisses to linger forever. She

was so good, so loving, so giving. She was a virgin who wanted him to be her first,

more accurately _her only_. Deep down when he first met her he knew that holier than

thou persona was just an act to keep from getting hurt. It was the opposite side of

the coin that he operated on pre-cancer. He would act and mingle be Drake Parker

everybody's friend at the party but that too was a charade. He heard her say

something about unplugging the oven and had no idea on how her pretty lavender

sweater wound up on the floor. He didn't want this to be careless fucking like all the

other times in his life when it meant absolutely nothing than having his male urges

satisfied by the willing. When there really was a distinction between sex and making

love. Drake Parker accepted the cancer, the downright loss or thinning of his body

hair depending on where it was, the scabs from the chemo injections, the dry skin,

the yellow fingernails, and just the act of thinking of food making him want to throw

up. He wanted this night to be special. Not just for him. Infact, he wasn't thinking of

himself at all. He was thinking about Emme. When he looked at her, he didn't see

her old long blonde hair, he saw her sexy peach fuzz and the most vulnerable blue

eyes that God ever created.

It just had to be wonderful.

"Drake, what's wrong? Don't you want me?" Emme whispered

"Nothing. Yes, I do, want you." He put his hands up her turtleneck to help her take it

off but something wasn't quite right. And they deserved this night to be all the

magical and special like the romantic movie clichés he knew she liked.

Instead of being happy Drake Parker was terrified. Terrified of hurting and

disappointing the woman he loved the most in this world.

_Author's Note: To be continued…_


	39. If the Fates Allow Part Five

**Chapter 39**

**If the Fates Allow**

**Part Five**

…**back from where we left off**

They made it to the servants' bed. The radio was on, but neither one would be able

to recall what song was on. Their clothes were scattered around the bed. No matter

how slow Drake was pacing himself he saw the second layer of tears, underneath

the first layer of grateful tears, he was hurting her. The act was painful for him too.

This was becoming a chore. Making love wasn't supposed to feel like this. Yes,

they both loved each other, but he couldn't bear to see Emme cry and wince her

body. Even though it was consensual, He felt like he was almost a criminal raping

her. Drake Parker did something he never did during intimate moments and that

was stop.

Emme reached up and put her hand on his face.

"D-drake, why did you stop?"

He wiped the tears away with his hand.

"This."

"But, I love you…." She was scared this was it. That there'd never be another

chance for them to prove their love in the physical nature, he was in her for two

beautiful seconds.

Did that count? Was she still a virgin? And there was no mother to ask.

"I love you, too—please tell me that one door back there is a bathroom."

"It is…" she gasped

Drake bent his head down to kiss her on the lips.

"Why the long face? I'll be back."

He reached for his white boxers and hated not being able to wear his usual briefs,

but they were too uncomfortable.

Emme put the white sheets up to her neck and lay on her side as she waited for

Drake's return.

He had to come back, but he could just say his goodbyes and leave her alone.

No, that wasn't the Drake she knew.

It was fifteen minutes when Drake came back, he knew she was lying there crying

and that just made him feel worse. This was their first Christmas together and all

they wanted was to be with each other in a sexual way.

"Hey," Drake slid in the bed, tapping Emme on the shoulder, "Don't cry, honey. I

don't like seeing you cry." He put a bottle of something he found in the medicine

cabinet on the tiny end table.

"Why'd you stop," She turned her body around to face him, "Why?"

"Emme, I've been keep something from you. No one else knows except for my Dad

and various medical staff."

"What?" She put her hand on his shoulder

"Emme, I've had that problem that normally middle aged men have and the doctor

put me on those little blue bills. I wanted to be prepared for this night, but I didn't

count on my cancer side effects still making it impossible to love you in the way you

deserve to be loved. I was hurting you."

"I'm sorry that you—you know."

Damn. This night was becoming so clinical. The only romance in the room was the

feelings that they felt for one another.

"Don't worry about it."

"I have my own side effects too---and if being with the man I love means I—or that

we have to experience some mild pain and other little inconveniences—then I don't

think we should stop. The romance went out the window with all of this talk." She put

her head on the pillow.

"Ssh," Drake kissed her on the cheek, "Look what I found."

"That must be Craig's."

"The seal is still on and it didn't expire. It might help." Who cares if the moment

wasn't that of fairy tales they were with each other and that's all that mattered.

"One condition, Don Juanoma."

"What's that, Miss Priss?"

"Will you put some on me?"

Emme's eyes hoped she conveyed the message to her boyfriend what she was too

embarrassed to say out loud.

The spark was back in Drake Parker's eyes. Those whores and other assorted

hangers-on none of which sent a get-well card would've pushed him off them before

he stopped.

"You like it naughty, do you?"

Emme stretched her arms on his shoulders and pulled him down for a quick

passionate kiss.

"I love it all as long as I'm with you."

The clocks stopped and the mild rubbing back and forth did create some physical

pleasure. The pain was there for the both of them. Drake thought in the hidden

recesses of his mind that this had to be punishment for all those times sex was a

cold impersonal act that was only for his benefit. Being with Emme was right. They

wouldn't have these physical limitations forever. Maybe, that was for the best. Unlike

other couples who are sunshine and rainbows in the beginning and when the dark

clouds appear they break up because they don't know how to handle life's hurdles.

But Drake Parker and Emme Jessica Watson were living it in reverse. They were

experiencing the rough patches together. There would be other times for mind-

blowing, extreme passionate nights. But there was also this night where it came to

an honest and satisfying conclusion. These two young souls were in it for the long

haul. Enjoying the afterglow eating and feeding each other the easy bake chocolate

cake and then snuggling into each other for an intertwined slumber until it was time

for him to leave to go back home.

One thing was for certain; they had their whole lives.

_Author's Note: Information about sexual side effects and cancer patients was_

_taken from the Mayo Clinic's website._


	40. Sunday Brunch

**Chapter 40**

**Sunday Brunch**

…**sometime after the New Year**

Drake was literally hungry for the first time in a long time. He wanted to eat everything

on his plate. Even on days when he could eat there was always that underlying current

of wondering if he was going to puke it up later, but today he didn't feel that. He was

sharing a private table with Emme at the San Diego Country Club. It was her idea

because Mrs. Watson had a membership and Emme just liked it because it was

private and they could share a secluded table with the sun coming in from the tall

windows and have a relaxing time with each other.

"I know you are a casual guy who probably doesn't like dressing up just to go out for a

breakfast, but I like the fact that no one can bother us here."

He did look handsome in his blue sweater with the yellow stripes he wore that over a

plain white dress shirt that was usually just reserved for attending a wedding, funeral, or

some other event. She loved the dress pants they were probably the same pair he wore

to the Hotel Del Coronado, but that was okay.

"I'm having a good time." Country Clubs might have been snobby and this one probably

excluded most of the Jewish and African-American communities, but Emme wasn't

stuck-up. He did love her for having the idea and was happy to drive them here. Chula

Vista was under fifteen minutes away.

"You really are hungry. You've scarfed down those eggs pretty quick." Her stomach was

a little off so she was nursing a fruit cup and water. It was wonderful to see him eat so

much.

It meant he was getting better. It had to mean that.

"Yeah, I am. I could go for seconds."

"Help yourself." She reminded it him it was an all-you-can-eat affair.

"Do you want some more blueberries for your fruit cup?"

"No, I'm fine." And she was.

When Drake's back was turned she silently flagged a waiter to their table.

"What's this?" Drake asked when he came back; he noticed his emerald green linen

napkin was covering something in front of his place at the table.

He sat down, putting the plate off the to the side.

"I don't know." Emme seemed to be bubbling over with joy.

"You do so know," Drake lifted the napkin off.

It was another green box. That must have been the theme for the day he thought. It said

Piguet on it silver lettering.

"Emme Jessica Watson, what did you do?"

Her blue eyes widened, they were full of hope and vigor, "Open it, Drake."

What was the occasion? Their first Christmas was in the past and it wasn't either of

their birthdays and it was a little too early to exchanging Valentine's Day presents and

that made Drake worried on the inside, but he wouldn't show it.

"Wow. This is very nice. What's the occasion?"

It was a watch. White gold, a very soft but yet sturdy black leather band, roman

numerals; except on the twelve where the companies initials 'AP' were instead, a tiny

circular small seconds feature above the IV, and it was water resistant.

"Just because you're you."

He picked up her hand, the need for more eggs and toast forgotten as he kissed it

softly.

"Thank you."

"You know where I'd like to go?" Emme smiled broadly as Drake took off his old watch,

the one with the brown seventies styled cuff and put on the new one.

"I think, I know, Miss Priss."

"Do you, Don Juanoma?" She stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah, I do." He took his old watch and placed it on her left wrist.

"What's that for?" She loved how it looked.

"Just because you're you."

Somehow that fifteen-minute drive to Emme's house seemed to only take five minutes.

There were no signs of Mrs. Watson around and Emme knew she was passed out in

her master Californian King bed.

Somehow-- they were in the sanctuary of their private bedroom quarters in the exercise

room.

Somehow---their clothes were on the floor when it was just a second ago that they were

at the Country Club having breakfast and exchanging watches.

Somehow—their bodies were joining of their hearts and minds into the pleasure. It still

physically hurt a little, but Emme actually shrieked in a whisper over what she felt had to

be her first orgasm.

Somehow—Drake experienced _real_ pleasure with a _real _person that he _really _loved.

And then it was over as they held each other in a warm embrace.

"You'll be there won't you?"

"Where will I be?"

"After my second look surgery, the first face I want to see when I open my eyes is yours.

Even if it should be bad news—I want you there. It's not a chemo day for you, is it?"

"When is your surgery?"

"Next month. I forget the date."

"Drake, I'll be there, nothing could keep me away even if it is a chemo day and I'm

puking up my whole entire body. I want to be there. If it should be a chemo day, I'll just

cancel---"

"No you won't do any such thing."

Emme kissed him on the cheek, "I will be there for you."

He smiled. Truth be told he would do the same thing for her and would when it was time

for her second look.

"Thank you, Emme. Josh will pick you up."

"I just know you're going to be in remission," She squeezed him tighter, "I just know it."

"And I know you will be too. Then we can do all those things we promised."

"Like that long drive?"

"Yes."

Nothing was more romantic in his mind then renting a red convertible. The brand didn't

matter. They would go for a long drive not having to think about "C" words like cancer

and chemotherapy. They could walk along the beach feeling the squishy sand in their

toes, and find a private spot to have a picnic in and to make love with nothing around

them but the ocean.

It was freedom.

"I'm looking forward to that."

"Do you remember the day we met?"

"Yeah you wanted to hide."

"And you were already hiding. And you bit my head off."

"Sorry," she stroked her index finger up and down his chest; with her heart shaped

amethyst ring shining, "I wasn't myself then. Am I forgiven?" She pretended to pout.

"Of course you are. I asked you if your meanness caused your cancer?"

"A pretty reasonable question when I was trying to push you away. I thought you were a

jerk."

"I thought you were a jerk too."

"And look at us now?"

"Naked." And not just physically stripped but mentally too.

Drake Parker was never going to be the same selfish person again and it was all

thanks to her, the young woman who fell asleep in his arms. The woman he never

wanted to leave. He looked at her ring and thought about the next step? They were

chronologically too young, but after surviving the cancer war it was as if they lived a

thousand lifetimes.

Emme Jessica Watson who tried to drive him away from day one with her tightly wound

headscarf and put-on attitude to drive every human away from her because she didn't

want to live then, she wanted to die. Drake's eyes watered when he realized in a

humble way, that she wanted to live because of him.

"Hmm," she whispered into his chest, "I love you, Drake."

"Ssh, go back to sleep. I love you, too, Emme."

Drake let his eyes also close, wondering he if could get into her dreams? He let his

mind process his thoughts before falling asleep himself.

_Emme Parker?_

_Should I…propose?_

_Relax, man._

_We have all the time in the world._

_Focus on today…_

_Author's Note: I had to put a chapter between the Christmas ones and Drake's second _

_look surgery. This story is nearing its ending point. I don't see it going to fifty chapters. _

_(Although, that would be a great record to set for the Drake & Josh fan fic section.) I _

_might have to do a small sequel for some little ideas floating around, but for Knit Cap_

_the end is near. And, Allie, I couldn't resist a nod to your story Hearts and Minds. (I _

_suppose Somehow, too, but I was thinking of Drake Bell's song.)_


	41. Behind That Locked Door

**Chapter 41**

**Behind That Locked Door**

…**Not quite spring**

Drake couldn't believe his luck. He was in high spirits packing his suitcase for his

second-look surgery while he talked to his _girlfriend_ Emme on his cell phone.

"…and when you come home—or better yet to my house, I'll have a surprise waiting for

you…"

She was in her walk-in closet looking for just the right outfit to astonish him in.

"Hmm, sounds intriguing."

Before she could respond she let out a small sneeze

"Are you okay?"

"Drake, it's just a little case of the sniffles. I've had them before. Oh, I didn't tell you—it

surprises me that my mother was out of her drunken haze for a moment to fire Mrs.

Martinez. And before you worry, Mrs. Simpson because she was doing housework

when it happened, took pity on me and will drive me to all my appointments."

"No one should have to take pity on you."

"I know. My mother kind of hugged me today. I think she was coherent."

"That's good."

"Yeah. I asked her if we could go to the crown room for tea someday. She kind of

nodded. At least I think it was a 'yes'. I think she's going to give up drinking. I can feel

it."

Emme knew the outfit she wanted to surprise Drake with. He would absolutely love it.

"I hope so, Emme."

"I know so, Drake. You know when you recover from a head cold and a fever--and you

can feel the snapping—the clearing of your mind? That's how I picture it. How the nerve

endings just spark and then it feels numb for a second until you get your footing back. I

know her 'fever' is about to break."

What could Drake say to his girlfriend whom he loved so much? Sometimes he

wondered if the best thing for Mrs. Watson wasn't just taking her out of her house even

if it was against her will and drive her to the nearest rehab center? Emme always had

this bond with her mother because her father and brother thought the females in the

family were disposable sorts who didn't deserve any kind of love and nurturing.

"I hope so, honey. I hate for you having to go through this."

"It all happens for a reason. Now, I want you to get a good nights sleep for your second-

look surgery. I dreamt about that last night. You were cancer free Drake. It was all gone

from your body. And I believe that's what the doctor's will tell you."

He hoped so, but there really weren't any solid guarantees. Drake didn't want to think of

the things that were beyond his control he'd cross that bridge when and if he got to it.

The only thing that mattered now was to believe what Emme told him.

"You're sweet."

"Not as sweet as you."

"Thanks. Don't forget that Josh will be picking you up tomorrow morning."

"I'll be there. I wish I could go with you."

"That's not a good idea, Miss Priss."

"I know, Don Juanoma."

"I want to eat some crackers and flat ginger ale."

"You know you can't do that before surgery. I hate to cut this conversation short, but

Drake you need to get your sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise I'll be there when you

open your eyes. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Emme, always."

In the standard teenage love ritual of not wanting to hang up on the other one they both

hung up at the same time.

Drake hoped that Emme's dream about him surviving his cancer was true. It was only a

matter of time before she was in remission herself and he was able to rent that candy

apple red convertible and take out his girlfriend for a long romantic weekend.

They were worth it.

**3 AM**

"Mommy." Emme slowly walked down the hall, she was wearing her self-described

goody two shoes white cotton nightgown with the pink flowers on that her aunt made.

The one Drake said she looked beautiful in. She was going to put on her St. Patrick's

uniform to seduce him in but she was too tired to try it on. She knew she was a few

pounds lighter, but Emme knew Drake would love her in it.

Drunk or not she needed her mother.

By the time she got to her mother's room she had to stop in the open doorway to catch

her breath. Just a little bit.

The light was on the dimmer setting, but Mrs. Watson was not in the unmade, sloppy

bed or on her balcony.

The slight wind on her face felt good for about two seconds.

"Mommy." She had to be in the bathroom then. Emme's trying to stay calm thoughts

interrupted by a sudden wash of panic when the door was locked.

What if she drowned in her hot tub this time?

Emme banged on the door, "Mommy! Mom-my!"

It didn't take long for the sweat to be dripping down her simmering face. She touched it.

Trying to remain composed she went over to her mother's vanity table. Missing those

days when her mother could drink, but keep it all together to give her a cosmetics

lesson.

She opened the drawer with a shaking hand. There it was. Emme found what she was

looking for, her Mother's letter opener with the mother-of-pearl handle with her initials

B.W. in morning glory blue calligraphy script.

She gradually walked back to the door to jimmy the lock open and was taken a back for

a moment when it actually opened.

Things really happen the way they were meant to.

Beverly Watson was fully dressed and passed out face down by the toilet. Emme's

heart beat rapidly when she noticed a whole bunch of pills in there, the prescription

bottle by her feet along with one empty bottle of scotch.

"MOMMY!" Ignoring her own body's signals, she turned her mother over and was

relieved when there was a pulse coming out of her.

Mrs. Watson was too drunk to take these, but the information that her mother attempted

suicide was causing Emme's heart to literally break into a million pieces. It felt like a

bulldozer was crushing her chest.

"I—I c-c-c-oul—dn'tt." Mrs. Watson let the words stumble out of her mouth.

"M.o.m.m.y. I. n.e.e.d. y.o.u."

"C---cooom-e-e H-h-e-re, B-b-a-b--y."

Emme got down on her knees and felt like an unseen force pushed her there instead of

her own will.

"I.m. A.f.r.a.i.d."

_**(Dr I Lv Y)**_

"I'm-m h—he-r-r-e." Mrs. Watson said as Emme let out a short gasp and collapsed into

her mother's arms.

All they needed was a good nights sleep. They'd be better in the morning.

**11 AM**

Drake had a good feeling about today. He was still a little groggy, but it was almost

time for visiting hours and Drake wanted everyone in the room when the doctor would

give them the news on his current medical status.

"Hi, Baby." Said Audrey; carrying her knitting basket.

Her hairstylist Margo who read tealeaves mentioned that her son was going to be fine.

"Mom…"

Followed by Walter and Megan who was carrying a purple and pink balloon bouquet. It

said '#1 Brother' on it in yellow lettering. He would have preferred it if it said '#1 Boob'

instead. Then the door closed. Traffic he was sure it was traffic.

There was nothing to worry about.

**Fifteen Minutes Earlier**

The voice was clear. The mind was about to break and crackle. Mrs. Watson was

holding on to her sweet girl not knowing what dimension she was in.

"Wake up, Baby," Mrs. Watson shook her daughter, "Wake up. Emme Jessica Watson

this is NOT a joke! WAKE UP!"

She let go and the lifeless body fell on her legs. Her sixteen-year-old daughter was

dead.

Josh Nichols was half way up the stairs when he heard the blood-curdling scream. He

ran as fast as he could hoping it wasn't the news that in his heart he already knew what

it was.

**11:05 AM**

"That's great news, son!" Audrey lavished Drake with plenty of hugs and kisses. Only

pausing when the doctor mentioned another half-series of chemotherapy.

"I thought you said he was clean?" Walter asked

"It's what's some of my young patients like to call precautionary chemotherapy. We feel

just incase there is something we missed. It is better to be safe than sorry."

"You have your life back." Walter said, giving him a gentle hug

Megan just stayed in the background. Maybe when she came back tonight at seven she

could superglue his face to a bedpan.

Drake didn't care about the news he just received.

All he heard was more chemotherapy and more importantly where were Emme and

Josh?

They should've been here by now.

"I'd like to be alone for a minute."

More hugs and kisses mostly from Audrey before he had the room to himself.

_Emme, where are you?_

**12:23 PM**

Josh held onto Mindy tight in the elevator crying more today then he had ever since

Drake's ordeal started last year.

"M—M-indy. H-how d-doo I t-t-ell h-him?" He kept repeating over and over again.

"I'll come with you."

"No, I have to do it myself."

**12:30 PM**

Drake hung up his cell phone after leaving a message. He wasn't expecting Josh to

come through the door. He wiped his eyes clean, but they were as red as his socks.

"Finally! Where have you two been? Is Emme using the restroom? She could've used

the bathroom here."

"Drake, I have something to tell you---"

"NO!"

Drake didn't want to hear it. He threw his phone at his brother almost hitting him in the

eye.

"I'm s-so s—or-ry. By the time I got there she was g-gone." Josh picked up the phone

and started to walk towards his brother.

"NO! YOU'RE LYING!"

"I wish I were."

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Josh knew the moment he left Drake was going to break down. He just got positive

results from the doctor. Josh wondered if his brother's girlfriend dying was going to

reverse all that? You hear stories all the time about people who die six months after

their true loves leave their Earthly bodies.

"Okay," Josh put the phone on the chair. "If you want to talk to me…well, I'm here for you,

bro."

_Emme's d-d----_

_No, she promised she'd be here when I opened up my eyes._

Drake laid down on his side and clutched onto his pillows and didn't think anything was

going to come out of his eyes. After all, he was Drake Parker, no emotions for him,

other than fast times and fast girls. But that was before this…before all of this.

_I just met you_

_and now you are out of my life?_

_this can't be happening  
_

_Drake refilled his cup and threw it away in the wastebasket after he finished and _

_decided to walk over to room 103._

_Open, empty, and dark._

_He closed the door and gave a quick sigh of relief until he realized that_

_the room wasn't empty as he thought. He could hear the sounds of a woman crying._

_"Who's there?"_

_This was going to kill his eyes, but he felt for the light switch and turned it on. She was _

_about the same age as him, wearing designer Junior Miss clothes, and her head _

_covered in an elaborate scarf._

"_Who told you to do that?" She wiped her eyes in hopes that she wouldn't be exposed, _

_"I know your type! You plan on hiding out in here so you don't have to attend the teen _

_cancer support group meeting!"_

_YOU WERE HIDING TOO._

_Her attitude was like a razor blade. On one side of the coin Drake knew exactly where _

_she was coming from, but there was another side of him that didn't like being yelled at _

_especially when they didn't even know each other._

"_Um, excuse me, but isn't that what you are doing?"_

"_No, it is NOT. I came in here to clear my head. I didn't come in here looking for a _

_place to hide."_

"_How do you know I didn't come in here to clear my head?"_

_"Just go away!"_

"_No."_

"_I was here first!"_

"_Well if you were here to just clear your head you'd leave so I could have some _

_privacy."_

_"A-ha!" She slowly jumped up, "You just contradicted yourself!"_

"_You're a mean person. I wonder if that's what caused your cancer?"_

_I DIDN'T MEAN THAT REMARK_

_Okay, that was a cruel thing to say and Drake knew it, but he hadn't had a_

_conversation like this in a long time._

"_T-that wasn't fair. You aren't going to get away with hiding in here so you can tell your _

_family you went to the support group. I will report you to the moderator!"_

"_Ooh, the moderator. I'm shaking!"_

"_You are."_

"_Well, I can tell you, it is not from your threats."_

_YOU WERE SO PRETTY EVEN THEN_

"_Okay," The door swung open by a man in his mid forties, he was carrying a _

_clipboard, _"_What is going on in here?"_

"_This guy is only pretending to join the support group he wants to hide out in here. _

_Show him the door!"_

"_This girl was hiding in here, too. Even though she's too proud to admit it."_

"_Enough. Who are you kids?" He took the pencil from behind his ear._

_CLIPBOARD TED REALLY WAS A MORON._

_I COULD DO BETTER._

"_Drake Parker."_

"_Emme Jessica Watson."_

_YOU CHANGED ME_

"_Watch where you're going!" Emme said when Drake tried to get to the doorway before _

_she did._

"_Sorry, your highness."_

_(he's such a jerk)_

_She's such a jerk._

_THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE._

_It was the real beginning of Drake Parker's journey. Not the diagnosis, the surgery, _

_the start of chemo, the wicked side-effects, the relationship with his family, or his _

_existing friends, it was meeting number one at the San Diego Teen Cancer Support _

_Group._

_It was going to change his life forever in ways that the seventeen year old could never _

_have imagined._

_IT BROUGHT ME TO YOU._

By the time Drake Parker's mind was done reliving the day he met his match his eyes

and the pillow were all covered with his tears.

_you promised me that you'd be here_

_you promised…_

His beloved Emme Jessica Watson was gone. The song now had its ending.

Drake remembered the last words he said to the only real girlfriend he ever had on the

phone yesterday, now that too was just a faded memory. This couldn't be happening

they were supposed to survive their diseases together and continue being a couple.

"_I love you too, Emme, always."_

…_and I always will_

_**Why are you still crying?**_

_**Your pain is now through**_

_**Please forget those teardrops**_

_**Let me take them from you**_

_**The love you are blessed with**_

_**This world's waiting for**_

_**So let out your heart, please, please**_

_**From behind that locked door**_

_**It's time we start smiling**_

_**What else should we do?**_

_**With only this short time**_

_**I'm gonna be here with you**_

_**And the tales you have taught me**_

_**From the things that you saw**_

_**Makes me want out your heart, please, please**_

_**From behind that locked door**_

_**And if ever my love goes**_

_**If I'm rich or I'm poor**_

_**Please let out my heart, please, please**_

_**From behind that locked door**_

_**From behind that locked door**_

_**Author's Note: **_

_**Behind That Locked Door**_

_**Composer: George Harrison**_

_**Album: All Things Must Pass, 1970**_

_It was very difficult for me to write this chapter, especially the open and close. I _

_actually teared up writing this. I hope you guys liked it. Just a few more chapters and _

_then this story will be complete. _


	42. Stage Two

**Chapter 42**

**Stage Two**

…**as soon as Drake was released from the hospital**

Drake felt the gentle kisses on his lips. Emme was standing right in front of him.

Drake never was the kind of person that questioned fate, he just went in for another

round of kisses, and they were way better than chemotherapy.

"I love you."

"I believe that is so."

Something was different. She had her long and bouncy blonde pre-cancer hair.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"I believe that is so."

Were they the only words she could say?

She put her arms around him for an embrace. Her hugs were awesome. If the only

way he could experience her was in a dream state then Drake was content to stay

asleep forever.

It still felt warm and wonderful until the gray clouds darkened the hospital room and the

warm and soft Emme Jessica Watson was now rapidly aging before his shocked

eyes. If this was indeed a dream turned nightmare how come he wasn't waking up?

He watched in a silent horror as she went from a one hundred year old woman to a

skeleton who dropped to its knees and turned into dust. His eyes swiftly opened and

Drake thrusted his body in the upright position. He was in his bed in his room. Josh

was avoiding him like the plague lately. Drake felt bad about that knowing the reasons

why. This should have been a happy time for the whole Parker-Nichols family. Drake

survived his cancer and the only thing he had to go through was a half series of

chemotherapy. All he could do was cry alone and sulk when he was in the room with

other people. It wasn't fair. He climbed down the ladder, feeling the smallest of

desires to get dressed before heading downstairs to see what was going on.

Walter and Audrey were sitting on the sofa in the living room, her knitting and him

reading the San Diego Union-Tribune. They both hated not being able to do anything

to help their son through his loss. Any age hurt when you lost someone you love. They

were both too young, Emme only sixteen when her whole life was ahead of her and

Drake at seventeen to have to accept and say goodbye to the only real girlfriend he

ever had.

"I can't believe it." Walter said

"What is it?"

"I realize Beverly has a drinking problem, but how come there isn't any announcement

of a memorial service for Emme?"

Drake was right behind them when he came in from the kitchen. His mood shifted

from a heavy heart to a quiet building rage.

"What?"

Audrey turned around startled

"Drake," but she knew she couldn't shield him even if he didn't already overhear, "It

seems like there isn't going to be a service for Emme. I'm very sorry."

Drake quickly went in the kitchen to grab his keys from the hook and breezed past his

parents.

"I have to go somewhere…."

His face was like stone.

Walter motioned for her not say a word, both of them knowing exactly where he was

going.

Beverly Watson sat with a cup of tea in the breakfast nook. She was shaking despite

the soft pink afghan across her legs. Her eyes were all red and puffy. Her hair brushed

out and graying at the temples. Not being able to stop she took the cap off the vodka

bottle to pour it into her teacup.

This was her fault. All of it. Neither one of them came home. She was a failure. A

terrible wife and an equally terrible mother and now she was alone in this big old

house. She told Mrs. Simpson to go home and that she would only need her services

once a week, but she would still pay the housekeeper the same wage as an incentive

to make sure she didn't leave like everyone else seemed to.

Mrs. Watson finished what was in her teacup and went to grab the bottle that was next

to her.

"I should have known you'd be drinking."

Another voice to break the silence. She turned around to see the young Drake Parker

and briefly wondered how he got in the house?

"Drake,"

"You don't get a say, Mrs. Watson. Is your need for booze so damn important to not

give your daughter a proper memorial?"

He was angry and deservedly so. She wouldn't fight him.

"She's buried at Greenwood Memorial Park. Emme had a will; she didn't want a

memorial service. I don't expect you to believe me—but I could give you a phone

number to call."

"Shove it up your ass," Drake was determined not to shed a single tear in her

presence, "Emme loved you so much. Even during times when it should've been just

about us—she was still concerned about your welfare. You slapped her, you called her

'a whore', she had to forge your signature on checks to pay your staff, and you made

her a nervous worried wreck—and maybe you don't remember those things, but I do

and I don't forget nor forgive easily. All she wanted was for her mother to be there for

her and take her out to the crown room for tea. I can't even look at you. You disgust

me that much. _Emme meant so much to me. I_ _loved her._ It sickens me that you

choose liquor over your daughter. You stopped being there for her. And you were in a

stupor when she needed to go the hospital. And if you had enough of a conscience to

throw pills in the toilet, why couldn't you have SAVED HER? The cancer didn't kill her,

you did. You are responsible for your daughter's death. You killed Emme." Drake had

to get out of the room before he started to sob in front of Mrs. Watson. He had to

catch his breath and sat in the living room or whatever posh name her mother had for

this part of the house.

He was going to sit down, but he noticed the photographs on the fireplace mantle.

Emme with her cheerleading group looking more beautiful then any of the other girls in

the picture, the other picture was of her and Drake taken by Mrs. Martinez when she

was still in Mrs. Watson's employ. They had their arms around each other. He noticed

his face was very content; they were both very young, and in healthy in both mind and

spirit. She was supposed to be here! He picked up the photograph and remembered

a conversation they had during their first cuddle party.

"_My mom is my best girlfriend. We did everything together and Drake you have to _

_promise me that if I don't make it----"_

"_Hey! Don't you dare, Miss Priss. Don't you dare say that."_

"_We have both be realistic we have cancer. May I finish?"_

"_Go ahead."_

"_Promise me that you'll make sure my mom gets help."_

"_I promise. But you'll be here to help with that too. You will beat your cancer. We _

_both will."_

She wasn't here, of course, but that didn't change the fact that he made a promise to

his girlfriend.

_I promised you, Sweetie._

Drake touched her face in their photograph and kissed her face. The face he'd never

see again and if that dream turned nightmare this morning was the only way he'd ever

get to see Emme then he never wanted to go back to sleep.

He put the photograph back on the mantle noticing the phone directory that was on the

on the small table. Drake feverishly opened to the beginning of the yellow pages and

once he found what he was looking for he tore it off.

"I made a promise to your daughter, one that I don't take lightly," Drake said to Mrs.

Watson who was still sitting in the breakfast nook only drinking when it felt necessary

in her mind. He didn't care if she didn't speak to him at this point Drake Parker didn't

matter. Drake could've been back in his car driving back to his house instead of

calling the Ethridge Center of San Diego, California. "Take the phone."

She stared at the man who probably would have been her son-in-law blankly. Terrified

of taking the necessary steps to be a normal, functioning human being again.

"Take the damn phone! If you ever loved your daughter, take the damn fucking phone!"

Damn it. He was crying in front of this woman.

Damn it all to Hell.

Mrs. Watson thought her hand was going fall off her arm the way she was shaking so.

The counselor on the other end of the line heard this whole exchange and wasn't

going anywhere.

"H-hello? M-y name is Beverly Watson and I need help….I need help….

W-will someone please help me?"

Drake was emotionally drained, he didn't think he had any more words left to say but

he had to interrupt Mrs. Watson,

"You don't have to worry about a taxi. I'll take you."

"T-thank you, Drake."

The only thing he could do was nod.

He loved her daughter so much, that's the only reason why he was doing this. She

wished he let her take the taxi maybe it would have crashed and she could join her

daughter in Heaven. She didn't feel that she deserved to get better not with her baby

girl gone.

Mrs. Watson went upstairs with the guilt on her shoulder's that would never fully be

resolved to pack and the one thing Drake was going to do after he dropped her off at

the rehabilitation center was to come back here and DESTROY every bottle of liquor

that he could find. He didn't care if a bottle was worth thousands of dollars. He was

going to smash them all in the sink.

Emme Jessica Watson did not die in vain.

"I'm ready," Mrs. Watson came downstairs ten minutes later carrying one suitcase and

one of her non-designer purses. "I know you hate me, Drake, and I can't say I blame

you….but thank you for today and thank you for making my daughter happy."

He couldn't (or wouldn't, he wasn't sure which and didn't care) respond at this time.

The anger was just too fresh. The only words he could find to say were

"I'll put your suitcase in the trunk."

When Drake got home two hours later he banged the steering wheel in frustration

about ten times consciously trying not to beep the horn by accident. He cut his right

hand on a few bottles that he shattered after he silently dropped Mrs. Watson off at the

rehab place. They said he was cancer free, but he knew as soon as his mother saw

his cuts he'd be bandaged up.

He put his head on the steering wheel and cried for a few minutes.

_Emme DID NOT die in vain._

The longer Drake thought about this through his tears he was convinced that that's

what exactly was going to happen. He couldn't let it. Drake Parker didn't know what

he could possibly do, but he knew one thing was for certain; Emme Jessica Watson's

death was not for nothing. There was a purpose behind it and he was determined to

see it through.

Drake lifted up his head and wiped his eyes. The blood from his hand staining his

cheek.

"I promise. I love you, Miss Priss." Drake said to the empty air as he exited his car.

Wishing that Emme were here by his side. How was he going to survive without her?

_And you know I keep my promises._


	43. Conversations in a Mausoleum

**Chapter 43**

**Conversations (in a Mausoleum)**

…**Ninety days later**

Drake didn't know why he had the desire to run in his mind. It might have been due to

the fact that it took him this long to visit Emme's crypt at Greenwood Memorial Park.

Mrs. Watson had phone Audrey from rehab because she forgot to give Drake directions

to her mausoleum crypt on that day he forced her to talk to the person on the other end

of the phone line at the Ethridge Center. There was Mrs. Watson with her eyes closed

and her hand on the simple black gold rimmed marker. Drake could tell from his view

from the entrance that she physically looked much better. She was dressed in a proper

fitting navy blue and white business suit. Drake was carrying an open drawing pad and

was relieved that he had a place for his nervous hands. Drake had Josh bring over

some red roses because he was too fearful to do so.

He didn't know what to do and didn't have time to stop a sneeze from escaping his

nose.

Mrs. Watson turned around, her eyes guilt ridden. Children were not supposed to die

before the parents. It went against the natural order of things.

"Hello, Drake. Did you send the flowers? They're lovely." Emme's crypt was the last one

in the row. It was near a windowsill with stained glass windows. That's where Josh

thought it was best to put her floral bouquet.

"Hello, Mrs. Watson. Yes, I did, but my brother Josh delivered them."

Drake walked closer to her. She sat on the end of the pink marbled bench and offered

him to sit next to her. He put his tablet down.

"How are you? Your Mom said you are in the middle of chemotherapy."

"I'm physically okay. The doctor's thought it better to be safe than sorry."

"I'm very happy that you're going to make it."

One of them had to. If Drake also passed away it would have been another example of

God's cruel jokes.

"How are you doing, Mrs. Watson?"

He realized he was genuinely concerned about her welfare.

"One day at a time. But I think what you need to know is I haven't had a drink since you

dropped me off at the rehabilitation center."

"That's good to know," Drake stood up feeling extremely nervous all of a sudden and he

just had chemo five days ago. Even being cancer free his body was still going through

the usual inconveniences. He always found it one of the many reasons why he and

Emme were in synch with each other. Neither one of them could tolerate those new anti-

nausea medications.

"Mrs. Watson, I owe you an apology."

She stood up herself. She appreciated what this young man was trying to do.

"No. That's not necessary, Drake."

"I believe it is. I said some cruel things to you on that day. Things, I know Emme would

not have liked me saying."

"It's all right, really. I made a lot of people angry at me."

"No, it's not all right. You see, I don't know if you remember, but I had an infection

myself—and I could've died on my bathroom floor, in the ambulance, or in the hospital.

So, I don't believe that you killed your daughter. That was a terrible thing to say and if I

didn't believe it, the lecture I got from my mother would have steered me this way."

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have mentioned that to Audrey. If I knew she was going to---"

"Can't you accept _my_ apologies?" Drake replied in a gentle frustration

"It has nothing to do with you personally. I have a terrible disease, which you know there

is no cure for. And," She had to get a handkerchief out of her smart beige Kelly, "I know

if I wasn't drunk that night I'd have been able to take Emme to the hospital. That's if I

didn't try that selfish suicide attempt." She had to sit back down to have yet another

good cry. It was taking everything in her body since leaving the safe confines of rehab to

NOT take a drink. How grateful she was that Drake got rid of all the liquor that was in the

house. That saved her from many a temptation.

She wasn't deserving of a resolution. Drake was quite right all those months ago when

he exclaimed that she killed her daughter. She did. Being sober only accentuated that

thought. Beverly Watson knew she put her daughter through Hell.

Drake could see the anguish in her, he wasn't stupid, and could read between the lines.

He sat down and put his arm around Mrs. Watson.

"Emme knew you were sick and she never hated you. I can't say I know what it's like to

be a parent. I couldn't even take care of my pet rabbit George properly. But I do know

you'll never heal until you learn to forgive yourself."

She dabbed her eyes clean.

"I know I've told you before, but I'm so glad that Emme had you. You made her so

happy."

Drake smiled, "She made me happy, too."

Mrs. Watson needed change the subject she didn't want this young man to feel any

more uncomfortable then what he had to be feeling.

"What are these?" she asked looking at the number two pencil sketches.

"Just doodles."

_Doodles?_

"I think you hit on a very good idea."

"I was just drawing."

_Don't kid yourself._

"Did you draw more?" Mrs. Watson turned the pages 

"Just a few."

For some reason he'd have been super embarrassed if she turned to the inside back

cover to see his black Sharpie heart that read Drake Loves Emme Forever.

"These are very good. Do you need to go home right away, Drake?"

"No, Mrs. Watson."

He could sense her immense need for company, but there was something else.

Something else he wasn't quite sure of.

It was one thing to have an idea in your mind; it was another realm all together to put it in

action.

Not all ideas were meant to.

"Follow me back to the house. Mrs. Simpson made some apple strudel and we can talk

some more."

"Sure," Drake let a small smile over his face, "Why not?"

When Mrs. Watson's back was turned he mouthed an "I Love You" to Emme's crypt.

There was no way he (they?) were going to let her be forgotten. Wherever she was she

had to be content seeing the two people that meant the most to her in this world thinking

about her departed soul. Each wanting to make a real difference.

It was what Emme Jessica Watson would have wanted.

_Author's Note: To Midie and Mo: Ironically, I have not watched those films/TV shows _

_you mentioned in your recent reviews. Imagine if I had._

_I caught a small error in my story. I shouldn't have used Drake Bell's real life birth _

_year, as he is a few years older than the fictional Drake Parker, so therefore Emme's _

_age is wrong. In 2006 Emme was sixteen (because she died before her birthday took _

_place) and Drake Parker seventeen (same reasons) respectively._


	44. Everyone Counts

**Chapter 44**

**Everyone Counts**

…**three months after Josh's graduation**

Drake was annoyed but not entirely surprised that he didn't have all the credits

needed for graduation. It was Mrs. Hafer and some other teachers who wouldn't just

pass him because "he had cancer." Audrey and Walter were disappointed but

understanding that it was due to the aftermath of Emme's death that was the main

reason why Drake did not really give a shit about his studies. He could've gone to

summer school, but Drake Parker had other more important things to do with summer.

So without a long, droned out lecture it was decided that Drake could go back to

Belleview in the fall and it wasn't even for a full day. His classes would be from nine

until noon. How strange it would be to go back to Belleview period never mind without

his dorky studious brother by his side. Josh and Mindy compromised and both

decided to go to Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois.

The one thing Drake was eager to get back to was his music. If Emme pushed

everyone at St. Patrick's away, Drake did that very same thing with his band. A few of

the guys were going off to college themselves and only thought of the band as "hobby"

and some had new bands and were quite angry at Drake. Understanding that he had

cancer, but didn't appreciate being ignored. And Drake would have rectified that on

some small-accepted non-revealing emotion guy level, but he had other things that

needed to focus his energy on. Drake was sitting on the dusty rose-colored sofa

playing random guitar chords.

"Drake," Audrey knocked on the door, she missed Josh, it was nice having Drake

around for awhile longer, "You had a phone call while you were in the shower."

He put his red Fender Stratocaster on Josh's bed. Mrs. Watson gave him two of

Emme's Hermes scarves, the amethyst and sapphire blue ones that he attached to

his leather guitar strap.

"Who was it?"

She handed him the yellow post-it note.

"Brian Richards."

Oh, yeah, he auditioned for his band when they were both sophomores at Belleview.

"Thanks, Mom."

Drake could tell it was difficult for Audrey to let go, and he was okay with the fact of

being "mothered" just a little bit. He knew Mrs. Watson didn't have that chance

anymore, even though she still had a son who was still alive.

He was quite proud of her for staying sober. It couldn't have been easy.

With Audrey gone there was something that Drake had to do. He was quite dreading

it, but all he had to as look at the photo that Josh took of him and Emme by the

Nichols-Parker Christmas tree and swallowed a big chunk of his pride.

He was going to have to swallow more than a chunk when he was surprised on who

answered his brother's cell phone.

"Josh went to the store."

_Boy it didn't take long for you guys to shack up._

But Drake was quite impressed that Josh and Mindy were able to hide this from both

sets of parents.

"Oh, damn—I guess I'll ask you after all. But you have to promise me, Mindy that you

won't say a word to anyone. Because if you do, well, just remember who knows your

little secret."

"What is it, Drake?"

She was glad he was alive to torment her, but he did have to be such a pain in the

ass? She didn't even get the chance to make jokes about his having to take some of

his senior classes over. But Mindy knew that was due to his girlfriend passing away

and then felt guilty for wanting to make fun of him.

It would never be like the 'old days' again.

Wow. Mindy was dumbfounded. She walked into her and Josh's small kitchen and sat

down at her laptop.

"So, you'll email me those links?"

"Yes, Drake, I'm on the computer right now."

"Good. In a weird way, I'm glad you know instead of Josh. He'd worry too much."

"I have to say. I don't know what you plan to be doing, but you and Emme were lucky to

have each other. I'm sorry your time with each other was so short."

Drake coughed, he wasn't about to be reflective over the woman he loved with 'The

Creature' (ah, it wasn't the same) Mindy Crenshaw.

"Thanks," Was all he couldsay in response, "I got your emails."

"Good. I'll send you more."

"And remember don't say a word to anyone, Mindy, I'll tell everyone when I'm ready."

"Relax, Drake. I have to go. Josh just came home. Bye."

"Bye."

There that was done. He couldn't believe he was going to do something so

uncharacteristic of himself. But it was all for Emme. If his talks with Mrs. Watson

around her kitchen table were supposed to go anywhere, then he had to do his fair

share of the work.

It was going to take some time.

"I won't let you fade away," Drake said to her photograph wanting to kiss it, but

conscious of Mom or Megan walking in, "I just won't."

Everyone's life mattered.

Everyone's life counted for something.

Everyone counts.

Drake Parker was going to make sure the whole world knew about Emme Jessica

Watson and that her life was not in vain.

Hers was a life that counted.


	45. Ordinary Man

**Chapter 45**

**Ordinary Man**

…**Two and a half years later**

The decision to enroll at San Diego Community College was an easy one. The work

that it entailed made Drake understand why people who go to Ivy League universities

commit suicide in their freshman year. He could barely handle junior college. Drake

hated the rules, regulations, the lack of sleep, homework, and having to pass tests

because _everything_ was on the line. There were no "we're proud of you" verbalized

moments from the parents. Even Mrs. Watson knew Drake didn't want any fanfare over

his life decisions. If he had applied himself in Kindergarten like his brother Josh he

might have been able to be psychologist and be a counselor. If he was a mathematics

whiz who ate, slept, and breathed numbers he could've done the business end.

However, he could only be true to himself. Emme wouldn't want him to be anything other

than that.

Drake had his music and it was not easy in the slightest to find a young band that were

all willing to agree to the terms of the direction, and he had his associate's degree in

Graphic Design. Anything he created would no longer be lowly referred to as 'a doodle'.

He also did find it mildly hilarious that he was already graduated and done with what

they termed higher education and Josh and Mindy were still collectively tearing their hair

out complaining about how stressful Northwestern was. Drake had to give them credit

on their co-habitating. His parents and the Crenshaw's were still in the dark about their

living arrangements. Josh had finally learned to stop lying badly.

Drake stirred the tall glass of Mocha Cola with the 'fun' orange bendy straw. He and

Walter were having lunch at the Fletcher Hills Driving Range. The pain was still in his

heart, but he chalked it up the human spirit, that he was still able to live, breathe, and

function.

But he did have a purpose.

There were no other girls in Drake Parker's life since Emme Jessica Watson died. He

just didn't have the interest or the desire. In his mind to want any sexual need satisfied

would have been selfish. If he tried to look to anyone else for the deeper meaning he felt

it would have been an insult to Emme's memory.

And you don't look for something deeper. It was something that you felt deep down. You

couldn't force those thoughts. They had to be natural. He didn't have those feelings for

anyone. There was no one that he wanted to approach.

Drake was almost content with the fact that might never experience love's touch ever

again.

"What's on your mind, son?" Walter asked

Drake had the ability to tune everyone and everything out of his mind.

It was something his parents noticed and the only thing Audrey and Walter Nichols could

do was support him by just being there. A lecture would only turn him off besides he was

an adult now.

"I'm fine, Dad. I did pretty well on the course today." Drake did the ole subject change.

He didn't want to have this conversation with his Dad or anyone else. It was just too

painful. Besides, if by chance he did find a "special someone", she only would have

interfered with his future plans. Drake knew women and he could picture that she would

have tried to talk him out of it because she would have felt he was "ignoring her"

because of "the project". Leaving him to wonder if she really was a "special someone" in

the first place. Drake didn't need that headache.

"You did much better than Josh…"

"He tripped over the golf clubs and went into the pond to retrieve his ball." Drake

laughed. Josh's constant state of clumsiness was always good for a giggle.

"So does this mean you'd like to do this again?" Walter wasn't going to force him.

"Sure, Dad."

A pretty waitress walked by. Who was the kind of girl that Drake used to go up to start

mild chit-chat for the express purpose of wanting to get into her panties.

Her blonde hair was put up in a pony tail and she was wearing her black and white

uniform a little bit too snuggly. There was nothing wrong with looking. It was practically a

guy's 'right' to do so. But to go up to 'Traci' the name that was on her green nameplate

would have been a slap in the face the beautiful time he spent with Emme Jessica

Watson. He could tell just by the careless way she filled up the small wavy water glasses

that her hobbies probably included airy giggling and hanging onto his arm. Which back

in the day was all that he needed. But now he needed more. Drake needed to be on the

road where he and Emme were exploring. It was a two way problem. The built airheads

didn't interest him anymore and the mature women who you knew who were subscribed

to bridal magazines from the time they were fourteen years old were just not his Miss

Priss. No one has stuck their tongue out him in years and that's not counting Megan.

Who was growing up to be quite a beautiful looking young woman and god help any

Don Juanoma that tries to get into her underwear. Because Drake would have no

problem beating the living shit out of the guy for taking advantage of his sister. His cell

phone rang and Drake politely excused himself from the table so he could take this call

in private next to the two pay phone stalls by the restrooms.

"Hello?"

"Drake, I just took a look at your designs they are very beautiful."

"Thank you, Mrs. Watson."

She wished that he would someday call her Mom. He was such a sweet boy who didn't

pass judgment when she had a short weak moment a year ago when she drove to the

liquor store because watching _The Wizard of Oz _reminded her too much of Emme when

she played Dorothy in a school play when she was five.

"I think it's about time we tell your parents about all of this."

Drake peaked around the corner to watch Walter put two pink sugar substitute packets

in his coffee.

"Yes," Drake sighed feeling some of the burdens lift, "I think it's time too."

_Author's Note: Allie, I remembered the Drake/Walter golfing trip bonding. _


	46. The Purpose

**Chapter 46**

**The Purpose**

…**One year later**

Drake let the hot water soothe his back in the shower. There were no visible signs that

he ever was a cancer patient. His hair had started to grow back properly since his

precautionary chemotherapy ended a few years ago. It was an almost un-Drake

thought that he missed his shaved and then stubbly head. It was the same late sixties

British rock cut. But he didn't really care about such things anymore. It was only hair.

There were times when he still wore his knit cap from Josh and not because he was

trying to be fashionable. Tonight was the night. No one expected this of him. Like an

underdog team that scores a touchdown in the last remaining seconds of a football

game to win the Super Bowl, it was unexpected and fulfilling. This was more important

than a sporting event.

Everything was based upon this night. He let his nose take in the scent of the honey-

almond shampoo and his only wish was that Emme could be in the shower with him to

assist with washing his hair. Drake had enough money saved up to finally have his own

apartment and was not surprised that he was staying in San Diego. His modest

place was only one and a half blocks away from Sharp Memorial Hospital. Drake

wiped his eyes with the white colored bath towel and grabbed his green sponge off the

shower caddy hook. He looked at the black leather band Piguet watch. He never took

it off.

When Mrs. Watson told Drake that Emme was buried with his watch and the ring he

bought her for their first and only Christmas the least he could do was keep the watch

on.

He poured the blackberry gel on the sponge noticing the how the deep the purple color

was; he could see the heart shaped amethyst that was the stone of her ring. Drake had

ten minutes to finish this calming shower before having to get dressed in the tuxedo

that Mrs. Watson ordered for him. He never should have casually mentioned that he

needed to stop by the Flamingo Tux Shop to pick out a rental. Those Watson women

liked to shop. He was impressed with the elaborate yet delicately pleated white shirt

that really didn't require a tie. He'd look good; he was Drake Parker after all. Yet, the

focus was not him. He just hoped he looked presentable enough. They were all going

to be there.

His personal guest list included his mom and dad who were very supportive once they

found out why he attended San Diego Community College. Josh and Mindy who

announced this past Thanksgiving that they were engaged and broke the news to the

parents that they were living together all this time. What could the parents do? Once

you are over eighteen you are your own person. Megan who told him last night over

celery sticks and peanut butter when he came over to the house last night that she was

glad that she had a brother like him, which would have been a sweet moment if she

didn't stick a celery stick to his cheek because he talked during the movie. It still was a

sweet moment in retrospect though.

Mrs. Watson was going to be there, but in a professional capacity. Just like him. Him.

Drake Parker, the once ordinary kid from San Diego, California. Who was an ordinary,

horny, rock and roll playing American teenager until he was diagnosed with cancer.

What was his purpose?

He wasn't quite sure until he met Emme. Once he tore down her wall, he believed the

purpose was their getting together and then she passed away not even a year after

they met. Then the only thing mattered was to make sure that no one forgot her, but that

wasn't quite the whole purpose. But it was the starting point. He turned off the shower

and put on his navy blue robe.

Tonight the good, the bad, and the ugly would be realized. The reason for it all would

be revealed. It was no coincidence that the Watson's were wealthy. Drake would have

loved Emme regardless of how much she was worth, but in the grand scheme of things

the money did matter. It was starting to be bigger than everyone's individual

involvement in this whole situation. Everything was a sum of its collective parts.

His cell phone rang that was on his unmade bed.

That could only be one person.

"Hi, Josh. I'm getting dressed now. Come upstairs. The key is under the welcome

mat."

"Drake, you shouldn't keep your extra key where crooks will be able to find it easily."

"You really have to learn how to relax. See you in a bit, man."

Drake joined Josh in the living room ten minutes later. Both were wearing tuxes, but

only one didn't look like a waiter.

"Your limo awaits."

Some of this seemed so unnecessary, but it was all part of the equation.

"What?Are we going on a date?" Drake snickered

"Ha ha. Are you nervous, bro?" Josh had to ask.

"Wouldn't you be? I'm not afraid to admit that I'm terrified."

There were other more important and superior educated people that had to get up and

speak, but it was his involvement and speech that most of the eyes in the Chadwick

Hotel were going to be on.

This was partly his idea after all.

"You're going to do great." Josh replied when they got to the porch.

"Tonight is not about me doing great." Drake didn't mean to be snippy, but it wasn't

about him doing great. He was only one small ingredient in the recipe but not the whole

stew.

"Okay." Josh didn't want to push it so he just tapped him on the shoulder as they got

into the limousine.

It was too ceremonial for Drake, although mildly amusing to see his Dad in a same

type of food-server tux as Josh. He was bringing Audrey a flute of champagne who

wore her floor length peach gown decorated with crystals on the waist (she actually

owned this) design. Drake hoped that Mrs. Watson wouldn't be tempted to touch the

stuff. But she planned this portion of the event so she had to be comfortable seeing

others be able to drink alcohol.

It still made him nervous though. He never saw Megan so formal before in a simple

appropriate length black velvet dress with a round neckline and satin pink sash belted

at the waist.

"Are you ready, honey?" Mrs. Watson asked, squeezing his hand.

She looked regal with hair swept up and in a simple burgundy colored gown.

"Yeah, I have to be."

He had all of the experience in the world gyrating around a rock and roll stage like a

modern Elvis Presley, but this was going to be the most difficult yet rewarding things

that Drake Parker had ever done. Drake had no memory from after the moment that

Mrs. Watson gave him encouragement to when some administrator whose name he

should have remembered but didn't to when he announced his name. He was used to

hearing his name 'Drake Parker' followed by applause. But this applause wasn't

cheering to be a hanger-on and wanting to touch his naughty places in the back of his

former drummer's van, this clapping was earnest and they actually wanted to hear the

words he wanted to say. He took his speech that Megan typed out for him on blue

index cards out of his inside tuxedo jacket pocket.

The lights were blinding as he placed his cards and his hands flat on the dark cherry

wood podium that had the name 'Chadwick Hotel' embossed on a large gold

nameplate.

"Hi, I'm Drake Parker. I had a speech prepared for tonight, but I'm not going to use it.

I'd rather just say what is on my mind as what was written on those cards were words

that I thought people would want to hear except that it wasn't written from the heart.

Guess what people? Cancer sucks. No one should have to be diagnosed with it. I

know it's more difficult for the elderly and the small children---but there's a group of

people that are in the middle and that is the teenager. I was seventeen years old when

I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. When you are an adolescent you are just coming

to grips with who you are, your identity is very important. And mine was a typical all-

American rock and roll kid. This dressed up guy is not me either, I am much more at

home in a t-shirt and jeans. Rather than explain my life I'd rather just say the reason for

all of this was when I attended a Teen Cancer Support Group; I met sixteen-year-old

Emme Jessica Watson who again was just sixteen years old when she had to deal

with getting a hysterectomy because of developing ovarian cancer. She had a chip on

her shoulder the size of a city block; she didn't like anyone or anything. Especially me.

But you see it was all act. She was afraid of letting her mother down. I will let director

Beverly Watson whom I consider my second mother tell you more about those things.

We lost a great deal of time and by the time we finally got together as friends and as a

couple. Emme was taken away. We both had infections. I survived mine. Emme never

got that second chance. From the moment she died, I had this fear that she would be

forgotten. It was something that I wanted to rectify right from the start. No one should be

reduced to a footnote. All of this talking is not my style and I'd rather let Mom #2 and

the rest of the people who are more educated and worldy than me to speak more on

purpose for this night. But, I know wherever she is Emme wants me to continue on with

what I have to say. Mrs. Watson and I for our individual reasons as well as our together

ones don't want any teenager to suffer alone or feel that they have to keep up a brave

front. I didn't know how to make this happen all I had were some random, crude

sketches and Mrs. Watson had her own personal reasons as well as what we both had

a love for Emme to make sure her death was not in vain. I couldn't be a false person

and went to San Diego Community College to get my associate's degree in Graphic

Design. I'll let the more qualified people handle what they are best at, while I focus on

what I'm best at. Yeah, I design things, but I'm also here to lend an ear and to answer

any questions as well as be a part-time rock and roll musician who has no plans on

quitting his day job.

Sometimes our well-meaning families are not enough. I love you guys, but you weren't

going through it to know what it was truly one hundred percent like. Tonight, I am proud

to be a part of the opening of the first Emme Jessica's Place. A quiet haven open

seven days a week, twenty four hours a day, where teens suffering with cancer can go

and just relax and not worry about anything else but their recoveries. And while support

groups have their place, I'll share that after Emme and I got closer to each other we

kind of ditched the concept. If you are in the audience sorry, Mr. Smithers aka

Clipboard Ted, but when a couple is young and in love well that was just cutting into our

together time.

One of the things I disliked is when people whether another patient or someone in the

medical field who didn't know my history would ask, 'What are you?' and proceeded

by in my case, 'Localized Osteosarcoma'. We aren't 'what's' we are 'who's' who

shouldn't be wholly defined by our illnesses. We would have been having this

ceremony at the actual Emme Jessica's Place that is across the street from the

Premiere Galleria but there was an electrical problem that needed to be fixed before it

can open. You can thank the vastly talented Mrs. Watson for finding this hotel on such

short notice. I'm also proud to announce that from when me and Mrs. Watson worked

out the concept to this day forward all proceeds from my concerts and any other

merchandise will go to Emme Jessica's Place.

Emme Jessica Watson was not a postscript on the letter of life. She was the letter. I

love and miss you very much. And because of her life we can help other teenagers

who are battling cancer. Thank you very much—please hold the applause. _I don't need_

_it._ I'd like to introduce the Emme Jessica Place program director and Emme's mother,

Beverly Watson."

Drake did not know how he got through that. A round of chemotherapy would have

been easier than telling all the prying eyes about Emme Jessica's Place. How he got

through the more difficult portions of his speech without crying he wasn't sure. Maybe,

Emme was helping him get through it. Everyone ignored his request, especially his

family, and applauded anyway.

Mrs. Watson gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug,

"You did excellent, Drake." She had to blink away her own tears. It wasn't just the talk

about her daughter and the speech that she too had to give, Drake Parker referred to

her as Mother. Mrs. Watson held his hand. "Another round of applause for a young

man that I love like a son, Drake Parker."

They did it.

They channeled their grief into something positive, something that would

help other adolescents who were suffering with cancer. Drake Parker had a purpose

that had nothing to do with skirt chasing after a heady rock and roll gig. Mrs. Watson

was not reaching for alcohol to get through her problems. They had each other.

If you asked Drake Parker at sixteen years old would he want two mothers? The

answer would have been something teenage boy predictable like. "Why? One is quite

enough."

But now he couldn't imagine it any other way.

Drake stood on the side of the stage listening to Mrs. Watson reveal more about

herself

in one minute than Drake did for the whole twenty minutes about his own self.

"My name is Beverly Watson and I'm an alcoholic…"

Each story led to the same conclusion that they both loved and missed Emme and how

her life was indeed one worth living and one that had a grander purpose in death for

her memory would be helping others.

Drake took a small wallet sized photo of Emme out his trouser pocket and smiled. The

dream was _finally _realized.

Emme Jessica Watson was always going to be remembered, but was Drake Parker

going to purposely let himself be forgotten in the process?


	47. Gimme Shelter

**Chapter 47**

**Gimme Shelter**

…**2 hours later**

Drake couldn't let the dedication night go by without a visit to Emme Jessica's Place,

a simple two story office building that used to house a now-defunct magazine

subscription telemarketing office. The electrical work was completed just as the last

shrimp was eaten and the last toast raised. Drake changed into a much more

comfortable red t-shirt, blue jeans, and his gray hooded track jacket feeling much more

relaxed than being on display in a 'monkey suit'.

He told Mrs. Watson that he'd check on the place so she wouldn't have drive

downtown in the dark. She knew that to be a half-truth to garner himself some privacy

in the house that he was partly responsible for building. The décor was kept simple.

Drake thought of recreating her bedroom for the resting room but it really wasn't a

good idea. One, her room was infinitely feminine something the male cancer patients

may not like. And two, some details were just meant to stay private.

Drake spent many hours with his sketchpad and drawing pencils trying to come up

with something universal appealing to both genders. He loved oceanic themes. Drake

chose blue tones, as rich vibrant sapphire blues and cool turquoises was the palette

that he had confidence in Mrs. Watson able to decorate around. There were a few

military-esque style beds in the room each with its own brown end table with drawers

for medicine that any patient wanted to bring and each with pink tapered candle in a

silver chrome candlestick holder in the shape of a horse.

Drake's favorite room however was the thinking nook. He didn't like that name though

and thought it'd be a good idea to have a contest to get the kid's involved in deciding

the name. It wasn't easy to create a sunroom panel, as there was no outside to look at

just a tan concrete wall but one of Mrs. Watson's contacts who was an award winning

artist from a fancy-smancy school in Europe created the illusion of an outside that

looked like the greenest trees and the coolest, life quenching pond looked like it

could've been in their backyard. When Drake saw exceptional artwork like that, he

realized, he wasn't really meant to be a graphic artist either. He did better in small

areas like designing for posters and programs. It was just a professional credential he

needed so he couldn't justify belonging at Emme Jessica's Place. There was a round

table in the center of the room and the most comfortable sofas and chairs that felt like

marshmallows. There was a fireplace in his room. It was one of those electric ones that

used those gel filled logs. There was one picture of Emme on the mantle. It was one of

her and Drake taken on one of their brief dates together by Mrs. Martinez with Mrs.

Watson being too drunk to care back in those regrettable days.

The frame was polished black enamel and silver with the names Emme Jessica

Watson and Drake Parker, 2005 engraved on the bottom. The rest of the mantle piece

was kept bare for future pictures of the kid's who would be reaping the benefits of this

safe haven. There was a noise coming from one of the other rooms it almost made

him think that Emme's spirit was acknowledging his presence.

There was a girl who was picking up the small square shaped tin and the pencils that

fell out on to the floor.

"Hello." Drake asked

He did want to ask how she got in, but, with her hair wrapped up in a green headscarf

(although, not as tight as Miss Priss' knots) and her fearful face he knew she was

okay—she was in the club.

"Hi, Mr. Parker?" She saw his picture in the San Diego Union-Tribune, but was too lazy

to read the whole article. Because adults really didn't care about the welfare of kids,

they were just doing charitable things so they could pat themselves on the back later

on. This young girl was convinced of it.

_Mr. Parker?_

"Call me, Drake."

She stood up and could've been no more than thirteen years old if she was even that.

"I'm J.J.—I didn't break in. I saw the lights on and the door was open."

"It's alright, J.J."

"I just need to get away from the b-bullshit." She stopped herself from crying. Boy, did

he know that feeling. He really had no idea on how he was able to keep it all together

tonight. Drake was almost afraid of going home for fear he was either going to break

down in tears or shatter some glasses.

"Come here," He carefully put his around her shoulder, "This is the thinking nook. I don't

like that name, we're going to have a contest to see what you guys can come up with."

"I need a t-tissue." Drake took the box that was on the coffee table and handed it to this

thirteen-year-old female cancer patient named J.J.

"I was going to lock up, but I can stay for awhile."

"Will this place be open twenty four/seven?"

"Of course." Which was one of the many things that couldn't have been done without

the Watson money or the connections Emme's mom had to other financial sources.

"Thank you. It's so hard. I can't even take a nice relaxing bath, without my parents

needlessly worrying about every move I take. If I'm too fast, I'm going to get sick. If I'm

slow, I might die. And that's not counting Todd."

"Who's Todd?"

"An unbearable sort. I met him in the hospital. He's the rudest boy, I've ever come

across."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"A water, please."

"Coming up and one for me." Drake opened up the mini fridge that was in the back

corner.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Drake looked at his watch, "Do your parents know that you are here?"

"No."

"Don't you think we should call them, J.J.?"

"I guess so. Am I bothering you?"

"Not at all. You just don't want them to worry."

"I suppose. Can you give me a ride home? I don't have any money."

Drake didn't want to lecture this kid, J.J., but she seemed not to be on the careless

side. Drake could just picture her being stabbed by someone who offered her a ride

home because it would 'cure' her of her cancer problems.

"Sure. You can come here anytime you want."

"I just want Todd to like me."

There it was. Drake would not be surprised if Todd wasn't the male version of Emme.

No one was an original in this. Disease put people in one of two camps. Those that

accepted it and those that were in denial about it.

"But he's pushing you away?"

"Yeah, but I know he doesn't mean it! I can see the hurt in his eyes!"

She was only thirteen years old. Wasn't that too young to be embarking on a

relationship? Was it something that he should 'endorse'? Of course, with any disease

you never knew if you were going to live for another day.

"I tell you what, J.J., I have to make sure the rest of the doors are locked. Why don't you

call your parents and tell them that I'll take you home. How is your appetite today?"

"I could eat some vanilla ice-cream."

That was hardly subtle. He smiled. Her will-to-live spark was there.

"I know IHOP is still open."

"Why are you doing this, Mr—I mean Drake?" She asked with the widest green eyes

that he had ever seen. You know that adults always had to have some ulterior motive

no matter how friendly they seemed with the younger generation even if one of them

was a cancer survivor. Drake couldn't just say he was here for the kids; he had to

prove it by his actions.

"You call your parents, J.J., and I'll tell you about a young woman I met named Emme

Jessica Watson and how she affected my life."

"Did you _love_ her?" She accentuated the word 'love', because she didn't believe it was

a real emotion.

"Yes. And I still do," He stuck out his tongue half-surprised that he did that, "Call your

parents." Drake stood up

"Okay," She took her cell phone out of her jeans pocket, "You're awesome, Drake."

Maybe this guy and this place were really different?

"Yes, I know."

Drake threw his keys in the air and caught them with his hand. It felt good to be

needed, but it felt even better to give back and to make a real difference in the life of

others.

"Thank you, Emme," Drake whispered, "Thank you so much."

_For everything._

_I'll make you proud._

_Author's Note: This story is finished. I just wanted to give you guys an idea on what _

_Drake would be like "on the job" so to speak. So, that's the reason for this chapter. A _

_few more loose ends will be tied up. I already have a few chapters written for the next _

_story._


	48. She's Gone

**Chapter 48**

**She's Gone**

…**A few years later**

Drake Parker stretched in the pleasant bed that felt like he was resting on air. He

wanted to get a featherbed to put on top of his own mattress like this one. This would

have been so comfortable during those painful cancer nights. Drake was sleeping in

one of the Watson's guest bedrooms because there was a special guest who was

going to be spending the day with his second mother. He put his hand across the other

pillow and was struck wide-awake when she wasn't there.

"Hey," Drake said in his best non-worried voice, "Where are you, Sweetie?"

"Under the bed!" came the little loud voice

Drake went down to the floor and lifted the bed skirt up, "What are you doing?"

"I lost my shoe!"

"Honey, get out from under there…I'll get your shoe."

"Okay, Uncle Drake! Do you need a broom?"

Jenny Nichols was three years old with a big mound of puffy, fluffy, curly, _Little Orphan _

_Annie_ like hair. Physically she was like a little female Josh she was so cute. Thankfully,

other than her brains she didn't have many of her mother's anal-retentive qualities.

"No," he laughed as he stretched to reach for her small black velvet Mary Jane, "But do

you know what I do need, Jenny Penny?"

That was his nickname for his niece.

"What?"

"I need to give you your daily dose of hair noogies and tickles!"

With having a good but worried father like Josh and popsicle stick up her up butt mother

like Mindy, it was up to Drake to keep the laughter flowing. So his niece would grow up

normal without any more neuroses than she already would.

"U-Uncle D-Drake! T-that t-tickles!"

He loved hearing the sounds of her joy. It almost made him want to have a child, but that

wasn't going to happen since he was secretly able to get a vasectomy a year and a half

ago. Drake still hasn't been with anyone since Emme passed away, but he felt that it

was just a precaution he needed to take. Was he normal for waiting this long? He

wasn't quite sure; the only thing Drake was doing was following his natural instincts. And

bed hopping didn't interest him and neither did the prospect of finding a girl who wanted

a commitment. It felt like he would be cheating on her. No one talked to him about it. His

parents knew better, Mrs. Watson never brought it up, and Josh was probably scared

not to mention busy with his young family to stick his nose in Drake's problems

anymore. Sometimes he wished his brother from another mother would have pried a bit.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Drake said as he rubbed his niece's tummy. He could make her giggle

again quite easily. It was a delicious power.

Still though a sad thought came across him that he tried to hide not just to keep Jenny's

mood jubilant but Mrs. Watson as well. He'd never have children.

"Hi, Grandma Beverly!" She said as her uncle put helped her put her shoe back on.

It was only Mindy with her misguided faux wisdom that her daughter would be confused

over calling _three_ women grandma. No one else minded. If Audrey was able to accept

Drake having two mothers then she didn't mind her first grandchild having three

especially if the woman was her best friend. Besides, you could never have too much

love.

"Don't you look pretty in your red velvet dress?"

"Thank you. I got dressed all by MYSELF!"

"And you did a fantastic job. Why don't you go downstairs for breakfast? I think there are

some cinnamon apple pancakes for you."

"Yummy! Are you coming, Uncle Drake?" There were times when she sounded like a

mini adult.

"I'll be downstairs soon."

"Okay, I'll make sure to save you some. Thank you, Grandma Beverly. Can I see Peanut

Butter Cup before we leave?"

"You're welcome, honey. Of course, you can feed him an apple." She didn't have to time

to hug the running toddler or to warn her about being careful about running down the

stairs.

"She's too cute." Drake said

"She's adorable. Drake, I know you haven't had the time to get dressed yet. But I'd like

to talk something over with you."

"Sure," he sat up in the bed, "What is it, Beverly?"

"I don't want to sound like I'm interfering and I know it's none of my business, really. You

only have one real mother to truly answer to and that probably drives you crazy at times."

"It's okay." He reassured

"Drake," Mrs. Watson walked back and forth it was easier than having to look him in the

eyes, "I know how much you love, Emme and the work you do to keep her memory…."

"We _both_ do the work." He gently interrupted

"…And the work we do to keep her memory alive is wonderful. We're helping many

adolescents that are suffering from cancer. But I worry about you. It is not my intent to

badger you, but when was the last time you went out on a date?"

"There's no need to worry. I'm fine. I have lots of things to do that keep me busy and

fulfilled."

"I'm certainly not going to tell you how to live your life. But you are still so young. Your

whole life is ahead of you. Despite having a lousy husband, it was still difficult to file for

divorce three years ago, but I did. The only door I keep open is for Craig, but he's too

much like, Jack. He really is his father's materialistic and egocentric son."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," She poured two glasses of water from the pitcher that Mrs. Simpson put on

the tray by the end table. "Drake, when I had my one relapse, it was over a happy

memory. _The Wizard of Oz—_after awhile memories have the habit of being blurred

together, this is difficult to say. I've grown to love you like my own son, better than my

own son…."

"You don't have to be afraid of talking to me, Beverly."

He took a healthy sip of water.

"I think you love Emme too much. You put her on a pedestal. You wrap her old mean

behavior as cute little anecdotes. She was human and she made mistakes, like we all

do. You—we have Emme Jessica's Place. You have your band, where all the proceeds

go back to the charity. And that's a very good thing and I love you for it. But Drake, you

need to start letting go before you start reaching for the bottle or some other addictive

behavior. Because one day you will wake up and lose the will to live."

Drake got out of the bed. He wasn't angry with Mrs. Watson. He was dumbfounded but

certainly not cross.

"But I LOVE HER."

"She's gone," Beverly started to cry herself, "And we both know she'd want you to move

on with your personal life."

Drake didn't know what to say other than to hug his second mother before he started the

sometimes daily and secret sobbing. Time was not erasing these wounds. They were

still there as if someone kept stabbing him in the heart with an ice pick. The pain was

fresh as if Emme passed away yesterday.

"Do I really put her on a pedestal? Even to the kids at the center?"

"Yes, Drake. And the kids need optimism I wouldn't worry about that."

He walked back to the bed and sat down putting his hand through his hair.

"I feel like I'd be cheating on her…."

"You wouldn't be."

"Before you take Jenny to the Crown Room for tea—I think we need to talk about adding

another level to Emme Jessica's Place."

"Such as?" She thought he was doing his changing the subject routine. "We need—for

some of these older kids that are in relationships that won't have happy endings---we

need to tell them---Hell, SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL ME HOW TO MOVE ON."

He let his upper body fall back on the pillows.

Mrs. Watson pulled up the wooden chair that was next to the bed and sat next to him.

"You do wonderful work keeping Emme's memory alive and between the both of us we

make a success helping others. Do you doubt that you couldn't respect her memory and

find love at the same time?" She gently smoothed the bangs out of his eyes.

Drake thought for a while before responding back in a soft voice.

"I'm not going to purposely look for anyone. Love has to find me." He hoped that Mrs.

Watson wouldn't find that statement arrogant, because that's not how he meant it.

If it was meant to be, then he wanted The Fates to prove it to him.

"As only it can," She extended her hand to help him up, "Now you better go downstairs

and eat some pancakes before they get cold."

"Yes, Mom."

They shared another hug. Mrs. Watson's cell phone rang and left the room to talk in the

long corridor to take the call in private.

Drake looked in the mirror parting his bangs with his hand. Knowing that another

change was on the horizon. If being a teenager sucked, being an adult was no picnic

either.

Emme Jessica Watson was indeed gone and it was a long overdue time for Drake

Parker to open up his heart again to another. With the only condition he put upon it was

that love had to make its presence known to him.

"Uncle Drake," Jenny ran into the room, "Are you going to have breakfast?"

"You bet, kiddo," He took her little hand in his, "And Jenny Penny the last one downstairs

is a rotten egg."

_Author's Note: Thanks to Allie for naming Josh and Mindy's daughter, Jenny. Not to _

_be confused with the Jenny Nichols I originally created in my Drake/Torey unfinished _

_trilogy. The latter was a passed away sibling. I might do the last two chapters_

_as a double shot so I can upload my next story. _


	49. Seat 20 B

**Chapter 49**

**Seat 20 B**

…**4 months later**

Drake hated airport delays. Even in the wonderful technological age of cell phones,

laptop computers, palm pilots, and I-Pod's you could still feel your life span shorten the

longer you had to wait around the airport. He was at the San Diego International

Airport. He had a nine o'clock in the morning flight to New York City to meet up with

Alan Crimm from Spin City Records who heard good things about Drake and his band.

The thunderstorm would not let up and the whiny two and a half year old that was sitting

on his mother's lap who was sitting next to him on a dark blue plastic chair kept

throwing Pepperidge Farm cheddar cheese goldfish crackers at him. Some were

sticky due to the fact that he dribbled all over them before throwing them at his target.

Drake and his band wanted to make a sampler CD for Emme Jessica's Place. They

were going to self-publish it themselves, but a friend of a friend type of person saw

them play at the Gilded Cage which used to be the home of the Brew Note the cool

teenage coffeehouse hang out that Drake got his start at when he was fifteen years

old. And the next thing you new Drake was getting ready to board flight 647 to New

York City which was delayed due to the storm.

It was an hour and a half later when he was awoken by the static voice coming from the

intercom announced that his flight was now boarding. It was about time.

Drake was too exhausted from getting a "friendly" wake-up call from Josh a five thirty

and fell back asleep again as soon as he was buckled up in his seat, which was

number 20A.

He woke up a half hour later smelling the scent of light spring flowers. Someone was

sitting next to him. His eyes still slightly blurry from his nap focused on the book that

was on the person's lap. The title was Beating Cancer With Nutrition and Drake

thought that was quite the coincidence.

"Did I wake you?" A woman his age asked. She had long brown hair with blonde

highlights and she pinned her bangs with gold barrette. Her eyes were a deep shade

of green. He could appreciate sitting next to be a pretty female. "I'm sorry." She said

"No," Drake stretched and straightened his posture, "I woke myself up."

"You look familiar." The woman replied plainly. She wasn't trying to play or score. She

just disliked having to keep quiet.

"Did you go to the Gilded Cage recently?"

"That's it! You're Drake Parker. I'm Susannah Wagner."

She extended her thin hand. Drake shook it. He wasn't thinking of anything other that

he had someone he could talk with to take the boredom out of this flight. But there was

a nagging voice inside him that wanted to find out about that book on her lap.

"Interesting read?"

"Yeah. I read about you in the paper talking about the center."

"What else do you know about me, Susannah?"

"Only what is printed and that you put on a good rock show."

"Thanks. So tell me about you."

"I'm a nutritionist. I'm going to New York to see my family. I don't know why I feel the

need to tell you, but I tell everyone I meet, that my boyfriend Billy Sanderson died of

cancer when he was seventeen."

"I'm sorry." He was. A lot of people used that as an empty phrase to cover up their own

insecurities by "just being polite", but he understood what she was going through and

he meant it.

"I know. I'm sorry about Emme Jessica. She really was pretty. Do you want to see a

picture of Billy?"

"Sure."

Susannah opened up her plain purse that she bought on sale at the discount store and

took out a worn faded purple wallet with her initials embroidered on it in white threads

that were starting to unravel.

Billy was a jock and wearing a white baseball uniform with blue pinstripes. He was

wearing the number five.

In the picture he had in his own wallet Emme was the same age. Here Drake and

Susannah were getting older and their dearly departed were stuck on the ages they

were when they left their bodies. If they came back from the dead they'd both be hauled

to prison for corrupting a minor. How fucked up was that?

"I see he was a baseball player."

"Billy could've been in the major leagues."

Was she going to cry? Drake wanted to take out his cell phone if he could during a

plane flight and say to both mother's he knew this was going to happen. Not that he

had any future plans with Susannah. He just met her for God's sake. But, now it was

going to be his turn to wax nostalgic about Emme. It's not that he didn't love talking

about her. He did. But there was something about this that was all wrong.

It just seemed so expected. Yeah he wanted The Fates to prove it to him. He never

would have talked to her, but it was her cancer and nutrition book that made him open

up his mouth and start the conversation. If he still wanted to wrap himself around his

Emme then he knew damn well that Susannah wanted to do the same with her Billy.

She must have sensed his uncomfortable shift and took a blue highlighter out of her

purse and decided to nip this conversation in the bud.

"I need to focus on some work, Drake."

"Of course."

He put took his headphones out of his carry-on bag to listen to his custom Zero Gravity

mix.

Every part of Drake's body hurt. It's not that he expected anything other than friendship

with Susannah. But if they were doing anything it was settling. He didn't talk to anyone

for the rest of the flight. Drake kept his headphones on, but the volume was off when

they were exiting the plane after arriving at JFK.

New York City was awesome and right now Drake Parker could care less. He just

wanted to go on the next flight out to San Diego. He almost wanted to cancel his

meeting with Alan Crimm, but that wouldn't be fair to the band.

"Hey," a female voice called from behind making Drake miss getting his luggage from

the spinning carousel before it slid down the belt.

"Yeah?"

"Listen, Drake. I think I owe you an apology."

"No, no, no— you don't. You don't owe me a damn thing, Susannah."

"Do you think you are the only one going through this? I told you about Billy."

"Why don't you say it louder? The rest of the airport can't hear you."

"I don't get you," Susannah reached for her simple plain soft pink vintage style suitcase,

"How can you do the work you do and be a prick?"

"Because life is not about settling. I wanted FATE with big letters to prove it to me. But I

don't feel a thing, Susannah, not a thing." He picked up his black leather checked

suitcase that came with the carry-on. It was a gift from his parents when he graduated

college.

Drake walked away. He got as far as the two feet when his mind caught up with his

body.

Was he pushing Susannah away the way Emme did to him in the beginning? Drake

didn't love Susannah Wagner. He hardly knew her. He didn't know if they were going to

be a couple or not. He didn't know if they were going to be friend's much less sexual

partners. She was getting an overpriced water out of the vending machine when Drake

found her less than a minute later.

"What do you want?" she asked

"I don't know," he admitted. Was it so bad not to fucking know? "But we have to eat, so

do you want to grab something?"

She stood there taking a big swig from her bottled water before replying.

"I suppose. But I think we should split the bill."

"Fine. Oh by the way, I'm not a prick."

"I know. I apologize for that remark."

"No worries. I guess I should apologize for my attitude." Drake replied letting the taxi

driver put their luggage in the trunk.

"It's okay. I understand. I know where you are coming from."

Susannah briefly put her hand on Drake's when they were seated in the yellow cab.

"Thank you."

"Where to?" asked the middle-aged taxi driver

"Lombardi's pizza."

"Pizza is bad for you." Susannah did the 'shame shame' cross of her fingers.

"Too bad. You can order a salad, Miss Priss."

_What did I just say?  
_

_It just slipped out_

_Damn it._

_I'm fucking stupid._

"What did you call me?"

"I just don't know," Drake looked out the window rather than look at Susannah, "I just

don't know."

"That was your nickname for Emme wasn't it?"

Drake was surprised that she asked that question of him. He swallowed to get rid of

the tickle that was in his throat.

"Yes."

She knew how difficult this was for him and was trying not to pass judgment. There

would be plenty of time to talk about Billy Sanderson and Emme Jessica Watson later

right now they needed to redirect their energies or they weren't going to have a

friendship let alone anything deeper. But they had to be comfortable talking and being

with each other first.

"Lombardi's has the best pizza in New York City you say?"

"Yeah they do," Drake unwrapped a piece of strawberry hard candy and popped it into

his dry mouth, "So Susannah, why don't you tell me a little bit _MORE _about yourself?"

Carpe Diem

_Seize the Day._


	50. Bittersweet

**Chapter 50**

**Bittersweet**

…**a few months later**

The air was stale. The family took it upon themselves to have a barbeque to 'celebrate'

something that they were under the impression that Drake was going to do. He sat on

the lawn chair in the backyard about to open a bottle of beer. Drake needed to

breathe. He didn't have a relationship with Susannah Wagner like everyone in his

family seemed to think. There were no bells and whistles. There was nothing telling his

heart to pursue things to the next level. That kiss under the Spin City Records awning

in the puke inducing Lifetime movie clichéd light rain didn't do anything to him. The

only thing he got out of that trip was learning that Alan Crimm was a jerk and that the

band was better served self-publishing their own CD's. The sex one month later was

just 'an act'. There was no sense of pleasure. He didn't ask her what she was feeling,

but he swore to himself this had nothing to do with not being able to let go of Emme's

spirit.

"There you are." Susannah sat on the blue lawn chair next to him, "We need to talk."

"Yeah. Yeah we do. But not here." He took a drink from the beer bottle before standing

up. There was no way they could talk in private. Walter would be firing up the grill, Josh

would try to put the big umbrella up over the faded brick colored picnic table but Mindy

would have to come out to finish the job, Audrey and Beverly would be taking care of

the food not minding their gender specific rules despite being modern women, and

Megan would probably be upstairs watching Jenny Penny. She was an introspective

adolescent. But Drake hated to tell her she didn't exactly own that behavior.

"I wouldn't be surprised if Drake pops the question to Susannah today." Audrey said to

Beverly while they were in the kitchen slicing vegetables for the crystal-dipping tray.

"They've had quite a few extended lunches." And how convenient that she started to

offer her nutritionist services for the kids at Emme Jessica's Place as soon as Drake

returned from New York City a few months ago.

Mindy walked by and kept her feelings to herself. There were still a great many things

that she did not like about Drake. As far as Mindy Crenshaw-Nichols was concerned

he was still a conceited, full of himself man who thought he was the savior to teenage

cancer patients. She was sorry, but all she saw was conceit lately. She had a feeling

that he was stringing this nice girl Susannah along for another ride.

"What's wrong, Mindy?" Josh asked trying to put the big umbrella up to shade the

picnic table.

"Your brother's an ass."

There. She said it and helped her husband finish putting up the big yellow and green

striped shade umbrella.

There were some moments where during all his cancer and beyond that he was

changed for the better. Color her skeptical, but Drake Parker was still self-absorbed

and that Emme Jessica's Place was only created to boost his ego.

"Why? Did you and Drake have a fight?"

"No."

"Then why would you say that? Especially after all that he's been through and all that

he's accomplished?"

The reasons she gave didn't matter for Josh Nichols was always going to love his

brother.

Drake hated the extra mayonnaise in Audrey's potato salad it weighed it down and all

you could taste was the goop.

He was glad that Susannah was in agreement over what he had to reveal to the family

today.

"Uncle Drake, do you want half of my hot dog?"

There were times when Drake wished that his precious niece was his daughter.

"Why, Jenny Penny? I think it's because you want to have dessert."

"Drake, I wish you wouldn't open your mouth. I made s-u-g-a-r-f-r-e-e-j-e-l-l-o for her."

Mindy replied

Talk about being uptight.

"I don't want Jello." Jenny whined. Drake smiled. Good for her knowing how to spell.

"I think she could have a piece of pie."

"You're not the parent, Drake."

"Come on, Mindy." Josh intervened.

Good God. Drake didn't know how Josh could handle being married to Mindy. He'd

have jumped off a bridge if he ever had to share living space with her.

"Does anyone want another round of hamburgers and hot dogs?" Walter asked. His

two favorite places were on the golf course and in the backyard at his Weber gas grill

with all of the modern features.

"No, I couldn't eat another bite." Audrey said

"I'll help you clean up." Mrs. Watson offered.

Both of them winking that the sooner they did this the sooner Drake would be making

his announcement, but it wasn't going to be what they wanted to hear.

"I'm going to the mall.." Megan started to say.

"No, you're going to stay here, Megan. It's not everyday we get the whole family here

anymore."

"But they're just Boobs."

Drake was actually grateful for that. Megan was always Megan. There was a great

deal of Parker in her. The need for privacy, the not wanting to intrude on other's

spaces, and a bit of self-interest that mirrored his own when Drake was her age.

By the time the coffee, milk, and water was served with the dessert, with Uncle Drake

able to sneak a piece of apple pie to his favorite niece he couldn't contain the silence

anymore.

"Listen everyone,"

He noticed Audrey and Beverly elbow each other with glee that he was going to say

ask a question to Susannah with a diamond promise.

"I have an announcement to make. I'm not going to mince words. For some reason

there are some people here that think I'm going to propose to Susannah today, well

that's just not going to happen."

Susannah stood up to finish the sentence and speed this moment along,

"We broke up---and before anyone ooh's and aah's over it—It was mutual."

Drake couldn't take any well-meaning questions from anyone although he did want to

slap the smirk off his sister-in-law's face. He took Susannah by the hand and walked

with her to the front of the house.

"I'm sorry that it didn't work out for us, Drake." She sat on the red brick steps.

"It takes two, so there's no need for you to feel that way." Drake sat next to her.

"Friends?" She put her arms around him for a hug and a peck on the cheek. There was

no magic there. Better that they know this now instead of settling for a lifetime of

shared resentment.

"Of course," Drake took his car keys out of his pocket, "Come on, Susannah. I'll take

you home."

When Drake returned everyone was done cleaning up. Audrey relented and let Megan

go to the mall to be with her friends, Walter was on the living room sofa taking a nap,

and Mindy was teaching Jenny how to play checkers at the dining room table.

"Oh, you're back. I'll see you on, Monday, Drake." Mrs. Watson said putting on her

beige cashmere cardigan.

"See you, Mom." He gave Mrs. Watson a hug that had more feeling than the goodbye

one (or any one for that matter) he gave Susannah.

"Where's Josh?" Drake asked his first Mom.

"Upstairs in your old bedroom. Your Dad and I are calling the decorator on Monday so

if there is anything you left behind you might want to grab it now."

"Sure."

Time always marches on. It was just a room. It didn't matter if they turned it into a gym,

den, library, or a bowling alley. It was just a room, although a soundproof recording

studio would be a nice surprise.

"Hey, Josh…"

_please no fucking lectures._

"Hi, Drake. I think I'm going to take a few of these license plates. I'm going to put them

up in the garage. Mindy would never let me put them in the house."

Drake was going to let that golden opportunity pass by.

"Do you want the sofa?"

"No. Mindy would never allow it."

Woah. Talk about whipped.

"Good. I can use it in my living room as the sofa bed that came with the apartment is

too small to lay on when you want to watch TV."

Drake sat on the lived in sofa and put his feet up on the coffee table. The only reason

why he didn't claim it was because the previous tenant left a lot of furniture in the

apartment and it was a bigger coffee table with more storage compartments than this

one had.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, Drake, but I am sorry, it didn't work out with you

and Susannah."

"Don't bother yourself with it."

"Daddy! Mommy wants to leave!"

"Come here!" Drake said and scooped his niece up for a big hug and kiss.

"Jenny Penny, did I give you hair noogies and tickles today?"

Josh smiled watching Drake bond with his niece. Mindy was wrong about Drake. Sure

he had his faults like every other homo sapiens on the planet, but he was a wonderful

man and great with children.

"Okay, Sweetie, I'll see you next week." Drake gave her a big hug and kiss on the

cheek.

"Bye, Uncle Drake. Are you coming, Daddy?"

"In a minute."

"Okay."

"Josh, before you ask me, yes, I'm fine. Now go home with your family."

Josh knew better than to push it.

"All right. See you soon, bro. Maybe, I'll join you and Dad on the golf course."

"Loser buys lunch."

"Deal." Josh picked up his license plates and smiled at his brother.

Drake got up and closed the door. He hoped there was still a phone book in here. Yep,

right on the bottom shelf. It was a few years out of date, but that shouldn't be a

problem. He took his credit card out of his wallet.

"Hello. This is Michele from Thrifty Car Rental how may I help you?"

"My name is Drake Parker and I'd like to rent a red convertible for a trip to San

Francisco tomorrow…."

Drake hoped that Mrs. Watson wouldn't be too angry if he took Monday off. His phone

was always on 24/7 and if any of those kids needed him he'd turn the car right around

and drive back to San Diego. He just wanted to have some much needed "Drake

time".

Although, this was a promise he made for Emme regarding their plans on what they

were going to do when they both were declared cancer free this was Drake's treat for

himself. He still drove his Pontiac Ventura. That car just wouldn't quit and he had no

intention on giving it up until it flat lined.

If Susannah taught him one thing it was to not settle. Drake wasn't Billy, and she was

no Emme. Whoever and whenever he was supposed to be with it would happen when

it was meant to.

Things always worked out that way.

There was a knock on the door. He half expected to be Josh but it was his Dad.

"Hey, Dad. I'm taking the sofa for my apartment and I think we could use this coffee

table at the center, if that's okay?"

"Sure. It all has to go."

"Why are you up here?"

"I just wanted to---"

"Check up on me? I'm fine. Really. You have no idea on how mutual this was. Please

explain it to Mom and Josh." No doubt he was going to have to explain it to his other

mother on Tuesday when he returned to work.

"We just want you to be happy."

"I am."

He now understood the feminist rally cry of not needing a man to be fulfilled. The same

logic worked for men too.

"I think I'm going to have some ice-cream. Do you want to join me?"

"I'll take a rain check, Dad. I really need to get going myself." Drake stood up.

"Don't forget our golf date next week."

"I won't. Josh is coming—so there's a lunch neither one of us has to pay for."

Walter laughed. It was good seeing his kids happy.

Drake could've told his folks, but it didn't seem necessary. He needed to clear his

head without any interference.

"So what are you going to do in San Francisco?" Michele from Thrifty asked trying to

make small talk with Drake as he finished signing the rent-a-car application thirty

minutes later.

"I don't know," He held the keys with the green and white Thrifty Rent-a-Car logo key

chain which was to the candy apple red Corvette, "I don't know."

Drake buckled the seatbelt and adjusted the rear view mirror. He put on the radio to

_Star 99_. He already left a voice mail for Mrs. Watson explaining that he wouldn't be in

until Tuesday.

He wasn't looking to meet his soulmate on this trip. That was cliché to think. Stuff like

that only happens in predictable movies. The first thing he was going to do was drive

to the Quiggly Mart to get a corn dog and a two-liter bottle of Mocha Cola. The second

thing he was going to do was just to concentrate on his driving. Drive for eight hours

(although he was convinced he could finish the trip in six) without a care in the world.

Drive along US-101 with nothing but the wind through his hair and the tunes on the

radio. Yeah, cancer was a bitch, but he survived it. He felt he was a better person

because of it.

Maybe, it wasn't just all about making sure Emme Jessica Watson's legacy was

immortalized. Maybe, it was also making sure that Drake Parker didn't get lost in the

shuffle. The only regret he had in this was that his sweetheart didn't make it.

He knew he'd see her again someday.

For now the only thing the living could do was survive. Survivors had it difficult because

although they lived and beat their illnesses there was a lot of guilt over how come they

made it through to the end of the tunnel and the other person did not?

He didn't have the answers. Therapy didn't help him, but driving along the highway did.

It was a highway to somewhere, but he wasn't quite sure what answers if any he was

going to find on this trip. He didn't want to solve the mystery; he just wanted to live

moment to moment without analyzing every little detail of what was going to happen

next and who he was going to meet along the path of life. The California breeze felt

good on his face as the sunset colored the sky in its burnt orange hues.

_I'm going to be okay no matter what._

Drake Parker just wanted to breathe.

**THE END**

_Author's Note: Thanks to all who read and reviewed. Especially Allie, Midie, Jillie, _

_and Morgan. I'm going to miss this story, but all good things must come to an end. I _

_do have some ideas for my next one._


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